


I Found You

by that_turtleduck



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Diverges post comics, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Hurt/Comfort, Momtara and Dadko, Slightly Anti-Aang, background Sokka/Suki - Freeform, but since it's a divorce from Katara's POV, everyone just wants love and acceptance, its going to be a sloooow burn folks, smut comes later and can be skipped, some smut, trigger warnings: divorce, what do you expect, will earn its rating later
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-01
Updated: 2021-02-27
Packaged: 2021-03-08 18:26:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 47,441
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27331183
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/that_turtleduck/pseuds/that_turtleduck
Summary: After breaking it off with her husband of 13 years, Katara goes to the Fire Nation with her kids. She just wants a change of pace, a chance to catch up with her old friend and move forward but ends up getting much more than she'd bargained for.
Relationships: Katara/Zuko (Avatar)
Comments: 175
Kudos: 301





	1. Katara realises a Vacation is in Order

**Author's Note:**

> Guys this is my first fanfic ever and I’m so excited yet so scared. Excited because I’ve convinced myself to try my hand at something new and scared because I don’t want to mess up this story that has grown into something beautiful in my head. But I’ve long since got tired of waiting for someone else to do this, so it’s time to take matters in my own hands. PS: I’ve never watched TLOK, just read enough metas etc online so bear with me. Trigger warning: marital issues and divorce.

  
It had been a month at that point.

  
A month of tears and questions and confusion. A month of people staring at her, at her necklace, at her kids. A month to the day Aang had flown off on Appa, no explanations given to anyone. A month since she’d broken it off with the only man she’d ever truly been with.

  
The first week had been the worst. She had had to come to terms with what she’d done. How she had perhaps irreversibly fractured the future which she’d laid out for herself at the tender age of 14. She couldn’t leave their home in that week. She’d reminisced over the good times…

  
_You’re my forever girl_

  
Which had been immediately followed by the bad: the crushing loneliness, the feelings of inferiority, the horrible last argument and all the arguments leading up to it. She’d shut herself in, refusing to see anyone. The kids were with Sokka anyway. He came by, every day, twice a day to try to talk to her. Towards the end of the week Hakoda had started coming too. He’d just sit outside waiting for her and leave by evening. Suki had just checked in once to say she’d take care of the kids. But Katara didn’t _want_ to see anyone. She didn’t want to cry. She just wanted to swim in the cool pool of memories and the good old days, when nothing was so quite so complex and occasionally wallow in some self-pity. When it had got to be too much, she had tapped into her secret stash and drank until she couldn’t remember anymore. It had been an ugly morning after when Suki, tired of waiting had finally broken into the house, stale with the smell of vomit, alcohol, left overs and week-long grime. Katara wondered how she appeared to her: long, wild hair unkempt, dark circles under possibly blood shot eyes with clothes on that she hadn’t bothered changing for the last few days. She must have noticed that there was the old blue band around her neck again instead of the yellow but had chosen not to say anything. After Gran-Gran’s passing, Suki was the only other woman in the family and Katara had never appreciated their bond as much as she did in that instance.

  
Suki had simply cleaned up and cooked and stayed. Made her some tea and got her to take a bath but kept quiet otherwise. Katara had to appreciate that her cooking had improved by leaps and bounds over the years - although Sokka was the better cook, penchant for experimentation notwithstanding. Finally, by evening, Katara had managed to gather the strength to rasp out her first words in days, “Aang and I are over”.

  
_You’re my forever girl_

  
“For real? Or is this a break?”

  
“For real I think. I did return his necklace and tell him we’re done.”

  
Suki hadn’t asked her if she was sure about her decision or anything about what happened that night and Katara realised that even with all the saving each other’s lives they’d done as kids, she had never appreciated her more.

  
Instead she’d asked, “Is that all there is to it? With all the ceremony for your wedding, isn’t there a… longer process?”

  
Katara sighed, “The Water Tribes don’t really do divorce. It’s considered shameful, you know that. And the Air Nomads had no concept of marriage in the first place. We’re winging this as we go.”

  
“Oh.”

  
“Yeah, oh.” Katara said derisively.

  
Suki seemed to think about this a bit and then said, “I stand by what I said that day, you know. We are on your team one hundred percent. You can talk to me whenever you’d like, you won’t see any judgement here. But I strongly advice talking to Sokka sooner rather than later, he’s going up the walls with worry and you know what that means”

  
“Stress eating?” Katara asked smiling wanly

  
Suki considered this a small victory. “We are going to run out of food.” She confirmed.

  
“I’ll talk to him first thing tomorrow”

  
“Good. I’ve got to head back now, it’s late and I need to make sure the kids or Sokka haven’t turned the house into a heaping pile of snow yet” And she turned to leave.

  
“Suki?”

  
“Yes?”

  
A beat.

  
“Yes Katara?”

  
“Nevermind”

  
The next morning she’d cleaned up and gone to see Sokka, who was now the acting Chief of the Southern Water Tribe, a mantle he’d accepted only a year ago. He’d begun his family years after Katara had. This was primarily because Suki had needed time to find a way to juggle her duties on Kyoshi Island and now as the Chief’s wife and also because as a man he simply didn’t have the same pressures she traditionally did. Even now, Suki still travelled to and fro often. They’d had Yue, a beautiful daughter, a non-bender but the pregnancy had put a strain on her. And knowing what happened to Mai, it had been mutually decided that one child was more than enough.

  
Sokka had been more than overjoyed to see her. He’d bear hugged her for a solid 5 minutes as soon as she set foot in the room. Over the years, her brother had only grown taller and stronger and his hugs too had changed.

  
“Let go… Sokka… choking… me”

  
He’d let her go his eyesight immediately falling to her neck where instead of the 13 year old yellow band with its wooden pendant, lay once again their mother’s old necklace in its seat of honour.

  
She’d seen his face go through a range of emotions: shock, anger, concern before settling into a grim line. “What happened?” And as she’d looked at him blue eyes to blue eyes the exact same shade and shape their mother’s had been, it had felt like she couldn’t stop the flow of tears that she’d kept at bay next to Suki. Here was her brother, her best friend, her partner in crime. They’d barely ever been apart since childhood. If he couldn’t understand her, who would? It was like a dam had broken somewhere and an inescapable torrent of emotion which just burst forth. He held her through it all. She was shepherded inside and made to sit on furs. A mug was thrust in her hands and the whole story came tumbling out. The whys the whens.

  
Somewhere in the middle of it all came a small voice “Mom-?”

  
“Room, Bumi. Now.” You couldn’t say no to Sokka’s Tribe Chieftan voice.

  
And the horrible sobbing had gotten worse. It had felt like all the frustration and fear that had accumulated over the week had been leaking out. Then some time later there had been the rambling “they’re all going to hate me, all of them, what have I done? I have kids. What will Dad say? He will hate me won’t me. I’ve caused an international incident and now we’re in trouble” somewhere along the way, her speech became incoherent. After around 15 minutes of this she’d just started hiccupping.

  
Patting her back, Sokka tried his best to console her “Shh shhh. Okay. Okay. First: Dad will totally understand. You know he was never fully on board with you marrying Aang in the first place, clash of cultures and all. Second: as the leader of the Southern Water Tribe, I can guarantee you that there will be no repercussions. We are strong in ourselves and Aang’s not one to take out his anger on others.” Katara sniffled, not one to argue with that logic.

  
“Finally, the kids will understand. Might take ‘em some time but they’re good kids and they love their mom. It won’t be easy, but we’ll get you past this. We will. You trust me, don’t you?” It had taken a lot more convincing and talking. They’d even called an ‘Emergency Meeting’ with their dad who as promised was completely understanding once he’d been told of what had happened.

  
Chief Hakoda now with streaks of white in his hair had never been one to mince words, “I support you, no matter what. You’re my daughter and nothing could take away from that. But you have to realise that we’re simply not a progressive people. Sokka and I will always have your back but I can’t say that for everyone else and you know it.” She nodded. She loved her home but she knew all too well that there was still a lot of regressive thinking prevalent, courtesy the Northerners who’d brought their outdated values and prejudices with them when they moved down South. It was sometimes the only reason Suki left to go to Kyoshi and Sokka would then get her back a few weeks later. Attitudes were changing, but not fast enough.

  
She was pulled from her thoughts by her father, staring at her sharply. “Katara, I’ll ask you this just once. Are you sure?” His forehead crinkled in worry.

  
_You’re my forever girl_

  
“Yes.”

  
“Okay then. We’ll consult the elders tomorrow since there really isn’t too much of a precedent for this” And as she’d moved to head home, Sokka had insisted that she stay with him.

  
The next day, she’d had to state her case to the elders who had all looked at her distastefully, but knowing her status as healer and war hero, couldn’t do much else to ‘punish’ her. She’d then had to explain to the kids what had happened and it hadn’t been pretty. They wanted to know if they’d see their father again. They wanted to know if he still loved them, if he’d fought for them. They wanted to know if it was their fault, her two eldest especially.

  
_“What about Tenzin? Tenzin needs me! The world needs him! ”_  
_“You aren’t even going to argue about Bumi and Kya? You never take them with you, always praise Tenzin in front of them even after we’ve argued about this multiple times! They feel guilty about disappointing you, about not being airbenders. Do they matter so little?”_  
_“Stop putting words in my mouth Katara, you know as well as I do that it’s imperative that I stay in Tenzin’s life to rebuild my culture. I don’t intend to die as the last airbender.”_  
_“Oh it always comes back to YOUR CULTURE doesn’t it? ...”_

  
“Of course, he wanted to stay with all of you. He loves you all, none of this is your fault.”

  
It had taken a while to convince them all. Even then, she was sure they hadn’t grasped the magnitude of the situation. Bumi was 12 so he did, and she watched in pain as he withdrew into himself. He’d always been a loud child and an incurable prankster. Always one to live up to his namesake, but now he’d gone quiet. The only person who could bring him out of his funk was Sokka occasionally. The kid adored his uncle.

  
8 year old Tenzin was mainly confused and kept expecting his dad back any day now. It was always depressing answering his excited “Is he here yet?” with a negative every time. Perhaps it was a good thing he had a bubbly Yue his own age to keep him occupied.

  
Katara honestly thought Kya had been handling it well. She’d always hero worshipped her mom. There had been some crying but nothing they couldn’t handle. Until one day, she came hurtling through the door and screamed, “It is not our fault he’s gone, it’s YOURS!” at Katara. Apparently she’d heard some women talking earlier. Nothing flattering had been said. Surprisingly, it was Bumi who had risen to her defence immediately. He’d yelled back at his sister to “Stop yelling at Mom!” and then pulled her away. Katara had felt her heart physically breaking.

  
She had heard the whispers too, try as she might to pretend they didn’t exist. Her own people calling her horrible things. Home breaker. Soulless bitch. Slut. She’s going to die alone now. She thinks she’s better than the Avatar? He can do so much better than her. This is why women shouldn’t be taught bending, makes them think they’re superior to us all. Those poor kids…

  
There had even been quite a few women who with the best of intentions had given her tips on how to ‘appease her man’. Each suggestion had made her more nauseous than the last.

  
A week ago the council had nearly pushed her out. Apparently her prowess as healer and master waterbender meant nothing if she couldn’t hold her home together. Sokka had gone ballistic that day. Parents of her students wouldn’t meet her eyes and some had even stopped their kids from attending her academy, afraid that she’d ‘rub off on them’. These were people she’d healed. With whom she’d spent cold winter nights huddled in the communal hut singing their poems. Telling their stories.

  
It had felt like each day, the fight got worse. Her kids were angry at her, her community hated her and she was just so so tired. So that night, a month later, she went to Sokka in his room, “I should call him back shouldn’t I?” Sokka startled, dropping the boomerang he was sharpening. “This will all go away. We might be happy again. I’ll apologise. Say it was hormones or something. Convince the elders somehow. They already think poorly of me, it can't get much worse. At least the kids will have an easier time of it” She said morosely.

  
Sokka moved to grip both her hands tightly. He sounded panicked when he finally spoke “No Katara, don’t do that. Please.”

  
“Why not? It’s the easiest way out. Besides what do you want me to do? We both know that this can’t go on. I can’t stay here like this”

  
“Okay listen, I really didn’t want to say this, but please don’t go back to him. Aang is my friend too and I was glad you two found each other though I really could have done without the oogies”

“Hey, as if you and Suki are much better and where exactly ARE you going with this?”

  
“It’s rude to interrupt Katara, where did you learn those manners. Let’s sit, we need to discuss this. Back to what I was saying. I’m glad you found each other but all those years when you were with him, it was like you weren’t yourself anymore.”

  
“What do you me-”

  
“No, no listen to me! You’ve gotten yourself captured to free prisoners, you’ve fought and healed on the frontlines of a war and travelled all over the world but after you got with him, you just… changed? I don’t know when or why. I can’t pinpoint it. But it was like a ghost Katara. You have to understand, I grew up with that terrifying girl. To see her vanish in front of my eyes was… awful. Now I see a spark of her back in you and I can’t let that go. Give me some time, we’ll figure out something else. Just don’t call him back.”  
Katara was struck dumb. With wide eyes she asked, “Did... did all of you think that?”

  
Sokka actually looked a little sheepish and said, “Well Suki and I may have talked about this once or twice, but you know dad likes to keep his own opinion and I don’t really know about anyone else. It’s been so long.”

  
And it had. The last time she’d met Zuko or Toph had been when? At Suyin’s birth? That had been 6 years ago. Toph hated the ice, she couldn’t see on it and Zuko had an entire country to run. As for Katara, she had stuff to do here too right? Take care of her family, heal, help Sokka. She wished she could meet them again, Toph would say something crass and sarcastic while Zuko would… she liked to think he would be there for her too. They had grown close to each other in the summer before her marriage. She remembered sparring at dawn, afternoons by the turtleduck pond, quiet conversations by nightfall. Then she’d gotten married and moved back here. They’d kept up with their letters for a while but then those had stopped too. She wondered why.

  
And there she had her answer. It must have struck her brother at the same time because his eyes lit up.

  
“You could visit Toph.”

  
“I could visit Zuko.”

  
“I mean, that’s cool too. Zuko did promise that we’d have a place there whenever we wanted it. I remember he swore on his honour” he snorts “Besides, he has a whole palace and the kids haven’t seen the Fire Nation yet have they?” Sokka asked.

  
“No, they haven’t. It’s summer now, the Cherry Blossom might be in bloom.”

  
“Then that’s decided. There’s a merchant ship docked. It leaves in two days. Go with them.”

  
“Two days! Sokka, are you sure?”

  
“You doubt me? MY plans? Tell me ONE instance when they’ve failed. Ever.”

  
“Seriously? We might just end up sitting here all night”

  
And that’s what they did. Midway through, Suki joined them and Katara felt lighter than she had in a long time.


	2. Farewells

_It was night and she was sitting on the threshold of her home, looking into the far distance._

_Waiting._

_It had happened again. They’d gone over this before and it had happened again. He’d up and left with Tenzin for an ‘airbending training trip’. They were used to these by now though. He’d come and go mostly as he pleased during the summer months and even during these, he’d take off with Tenzin for days at a stretch. He never stayed during the colder months. She understood why of course: he despised wearing animal pelts and he couldn’t regulate his temperature all the time in winter. She thumbs the yellow ribbon around her neck and looks up at the star spangled sky._

_Waiting._

_Kya and Bumi had been upset obviously. Though over the years even they’d grown to expect it somewhat. She had successfully managed to put Kya to sleep after wearing her out with bending practice. Bumi had been more difficult. He had insisted on waiting up with her, going so far as to sneak out of bed all of five times. It was finally Sokka who had sent him to sleep with detailed “battle plans” of all his “great victories”. Her mouth lifts up in a smile._

_But now, thoughts of Sokka just send her back to that last glance he’d shot her while leaving. He hadn’t said a word. Not one. Not that he needed to. After all these years, she knew what he was thinking. She was thinking it too as she looked up at the heavens._

_Waiting._

_It seems like it's all she does these days. Oh yes she heals. She looks after her ever growing tribe. She holds a seat on the council, more out of Sokka’s insistence than anything else. And she undertakes the most important task of all: raising the Avatar’s children. A woman’s true duty. Take care of home and family. For more than a decade, she had done just that, rebuilding, rarely leaving. Playing her part. She has a responsibility here. She’s the Avatar’s wife._

_Dimly, Katara wonders if today’s acolyte of honour is taking care of Tenzin._

_An hour. She should probably head inside. One more. Next thing, Sokka is waking her up. She’d fallen asleep sitting up and he needs her help on the trade rights issue. She can’t bear to look him in the eye._

Now, a little over a year later, she looked once again in his eyes as she said her goodbyes.

It had been a harried two days. Since having Bumi 12 years ago, she could count on both hands the number of vacations she’d had and all of them had been with Aang. Though to think about it, he never was very helpful so he not being here could only be seen as a plus.

She’d gone about it methodically, packing all the necessities and then some. She remembered how _red_ everything was in the Fire Nation and remembered to pack their blue quilts, whale bone ornaments, their sealskin clothes. Although none of it would be very useful in the tropical climate of the Fire Nation, never mind their extravagant fashions, she’d hoped to repurpose it to some extent during their long journey. She had also made sure to get extra rations of seal jerky. The rest of the world just didn’t know how to salt their meat right. As it were, she’d would have to have a talk with the cooks regarding how spicy all the food was.

She had handed over the running of her academy to Nanurjuk, the first of her new students to become a master bender and supplied another of her students to replace her in the healing hut. She had the sneaking suspicion that their otherwise all male council had been glad to see her leave even if it was temporary, going out of their way to wish her fair skies and favourable seas.

The kids had had mixed reactions. Bumi seemed to be cautiously happy, Kya clearly did not want another change thrust upon her while Tenzin was happy to travel with his mom for once. But then their grandfather had sat down with them and talked about the Fire Nation’s sandy beaches, lush forests, colourful birds (and decidedly not the squalor of their prisons) and that had seemed to do the trick. In hindsight, this was a double edged sword because now Yue had decided she wanted to go too and was alternatively nagging her parents or holding silent protests.

When the morning of departure came, there was a small party to bid her farewell: her family, her students and most of the people of the original Southern Water Tribe along with quite a few immigrated northerners. After the month she’d had, this outpouring of support made her quite emotional.

“Ah great, she’s going to start tearbending again” Sokka complained and Suki snickered. “Now all we’re missing is an impromptu speech on the power of hope”

“Sokka, you’re such a fucking idiot I swear” she said lowly, smiling despite herself.

“Dad!! Katara said a bad word” he laughed but the meaning behind her words was understood. “I’ve written to Zuko, to give him a head’s up, but haven’t told him what happened. Figured that’s up to you.”

She nodded. “Also about the fishing rights issue…”

“Katara, its fine. I’m sure we’ll be able to sort it out.”

“Write to me. About anything. And everything. I want to know, I want to help.”

“I will. Promise.”

They hugged each other tightly and Katara whispered, “Thanks again Sokka. For everything.”

“Yeah, yeah, I’ll miss you too.”

She let go and chuckled, “Try not to screw up too badly when I’m gone. I still intend to come back here.”

“Har. Har.”

Hakoda’s hugs were as tight as ever even with his failing strength. “You’re pulling a Gran-Gran” he said, pulling back to grasp her shoulders.

“I kind of am, aren’t I?” she wondered. “Except that I do mean to come back.” Her father just smiled at her sadly. “She would be proud of you. I _am_ proud of you. My beautiful daughter. Not for nothing did you receive the mark of the brave. ” 

“Dad! You’re not making this easier!” she sniffled, hugging him again and he chuckled.

Just then, Sokka butted his head in the middle “I know I was teasing you about the Speech of Hope thing but I think these people really are expecting one.”

“What? What am I supposed to say?”

“I don’t know, just channel 14 year old Katara. It’s what I do when I need to motivate people … or actually public speaking of any kind” he shrugged. She didn’t know if this was a compliment or insult, in fact she couldn’t believe her teenage self was more inspirational than she was right now.

So Katara just squared her shoulders and went to walk a little way up on the gangplank and turned to face everyone. It was a larger number by far than she’d spoken to at once in the recent past. She felt a little green. From the crowd, Suki gave her a discrete thumbs up.

_“Who is she? Why is she addressing us?”_

_“That’s the Avatar’s Girl. She’s supposed to be a war hero too.”_

_“Well tell her to get a move on, we want to see the Avatar! He’s so handsome and funny, what does he see in her anyway? She’s a regular stick in the mud.”_

_“Don’t mind them Katara, you know you are my forever girl. Though I think it’s better if I take it from here.”_

Pushing past the sudden nausea, she took a deep breath and memories of a different time flashed through her head. Talking to generals in the Earth Kingdom. Inciting a mutiny on a prison boat.

She could do this.

“Friends, family, I see all of you gathered here today and I am so overwhelmed. We have come a long way have we not? From our small village with its single saviour” Here she smirked at Sokka, who bowed his head “to the booming community that I see. The Water Tribes truly embody the spirit of family. In those days, we stuck together and built a life for ourselves against all odds. Now, after more than a decade of working alongside each other, we have a city to rival our sister tribe and better trade relations and supplies than we have ever had in the past. Water is the element of change and we have adapted remarkably to the changing times and ushered in a new era of peace and prosperity. We have welcomed new members to our family including more waterbenders who continue to amaze me every single day with their feats, be it healing or combat. Your achievements are yours alone, borne of your determination and hard work and I’m glad to have been given the chance to guide you. We have all of us shared many moments together, happy and sad, all of which I am grateful for and as I embark on another journey today, I thank you all for coming here to see me off and supporting me in these times.”

There went up a loud cheer and as she made her way down again, she was shocked to see a face-splitting smile on Sokka’s face and actual tears in his eyes before she was accosted by her students. They surrounded her, talking over each other, trying to get her attention. “None of that excuses you all from daily practice!” she yelled. “I will be receiving weekly reports!”

It actually went on for quite a while. People wishing her a safe journey, telling her they’d miss her presence, that the place wouldn’t be the same. At one point, Bumi came up to her and squeezing her hand softly said, “You spoke well mom”. Tenzin grinned toothily and nodded from behind him.

Finally, the captain loudly reminded them that they still had a schedule to stick to. The second time he did it, the crowd seemed to let go of her and she made her way to Suki, patiently waiting her turn.

“Take care of them sister.” She said as she hugged her.

“You know I will.” Suki said, pulling back. “Take your time there. Give the jerkbender hell. Tell him he still owes me for what he did to my village.”

“How long are you going to keep playing that card?"

"Hey. That card has never failed me. That card is the best. You could say it is the Phoenix King of cards or wait, gimme a second I might be able to come up with something better”

“No, no Suki, we’ve been over this. No jokes” Suki pouted comically and Katara snorted.

“Chin up soldier” were the last words she said to her as Katara turned to leave. 

With her hair in her old braid complete with hair loops, wearing her travelling clothes and her mother’s old necklace she felt 14 and ready to take on the world again. With one last look at her family, she started up the gangplank, pulling the kids from their weepy goodbyes. Yue was all out bawling at that point with Tenzin awkwardly tried to comfort her while sniffling himself. Bumi was also clearly fighting tears. “You are allowed to cry you know”, Kya smirked up at him. “Shut up. I am a man. We don’t cry”

“Pretty sure I saw Uncle Sokka cry”

“Wait, what?!” and he rushed to hug him one last time. Sokka returned the embrace, ruffled his hair and pushed him away.

As they set off, the ice getting smaller in the distance, she could feel a shift in the air, maybe a whiff of excitement, maybe a bit of hope. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So for this fic, I had two versions of Aang to work with. The sweet ball of sunshine we saw till season 2 and the entitled Nice Guy we saw s3 onwards. Because this fic plays out between the comics and TLOK, I've decided to go with the latter. Also, for the sake of the fic, Katara is 31, Zuko is 33, Sokka and Suki are 32. Bumi is 12, Izumi and Kya are 10, Tenzin and Yue are 8. Because this is my fic and also because I doubt they would have waited for 15 years of marriage till they finally got an airbender kid. Same goes for Zuko and ensuring his line of succession remains intact.


	3. The Journey There

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! Thank you for reading till this point. A light word of caution going forward : I do not claim to be an expert on the stuff my characters are going through and nor is this fic going to be a deep dive on divorce. I’m trying to be empathetic as I can, but do heed the trigger warnings and get back to me if I’m being insensitive (but be nice about it pls).  
> PS: trigger warning: divorce and separation  
> 

_After the war, she had wanted to go back home. They’d been away long enough and now the war was won. They had accomplished all that they had set out to do and then some. The world was finally at peace. So the Southern Water Tribe was where they’d stayed, for a while. It had been nice to see Gran Gran and the rest of them again. She had so many stories to tell, so many homemade meals to eat, so many new abilities to show off. She’d missed her living quarters, she’d missed the ice and snow and glorious sunsets. Then her Dad and the rest of the warriors had returned and it had been lovely. There were so many tears to be shed, both happy and sad. Even with all that they had lost, they had come out of the war alive. They were a tribe reunited. Those few weeks might have been some of the best in her life._

_There was also a lot of rebuilding to be done, a fact that was made glaringly obvious as more Northerners arrived and subsequently received a rude shock about how different the living conditions in the two sister tribes were. She had helped out with Pakku in the early stages and some of the planning but they had soon realised that this would require time and effort: maybe years of it. It was then, that Aang had grown restless. He was a nomad. He was the Avatar. The world needed him, which is why he needed to travel and he needed her with him. How could he do without her? She was the only constant he’d known since waking up a hundred years later to a horribly changed reality._

_Katara never turned her back on people who needed her. And right now, it was her boyfriend who did. There were more than enough waterbenders to replace her in the construction work._

_So she had spent nearly three years on Appa’s back. Sokka accompanied them on some of their adventures while also having some of his own. She helped where she could: she backed Aang up in battle with men and spirits, she supported him in councils where he argued the lost philosophy he was taught as a child (some of which she didn’t understand herself, truth be told) and stood by his side on stage in front of the adoring masses. Aang was perfect as the Avatar: he was charismatic, helpful and kind, not to mention a truly powerful bender. On those rare occasions that he got angry, she was always able to calm him down. The people loved him, as did she. He was their saviour, their beacon of hope. He was perfect._

_Sometime in the middle of it all, they had stopped referring to her as Master Katara and started calling her the Avatar’s Girl. Because that’s what she was, wasn’t she?_

_Sokka was the next Chief of the Southern Water Tribe, a strategist, a genius and an inventor. Toph had her ever growing Earthbending Academy and the title of the First Metal Bender ever and The Greatest Earthbender in the World (which went unquestioned once old, mad King Bumi finally kicked the bucket). Zuko was the Firelord, the man who was almost single handedly turning around the economy of a war mongering nation and bringing about great peace. Suki was a highly trained warrior, head of the Firelord’s personal guard and leader of the Kyoshi Warriors. She had started teaching more young girls the world over the way of the fan and was greatly respected for it. Aang was the Avatar, of course. And she was the Avatar’s Girl: master waterbender, healer and the envy of every young woman._

_Her tribe seemed to know it too when she finally made her way home. If you could even call it that at that point. The marriage age of girls was 16, which she had long since passed, but no one pressured her like they did the other girls. There were no men lined up for her hand, betrothal necklaces at the ready. Instead everyone would talk about her proudly, make some innuendo about air and water and then smile cheekily. She herself had wondered if she’d gotten married without realising it. They all seemed in on it but the only one who out right confronted her was Gran Gran. She had asked her if he’d proposed yet. Katara had actually snorted, “He’s 15!” Her grandmother had just looked on grimly. She had asked her if she was happy. Katara had been confused. She had everything a girl could want didn’t she? How could she be unhappy? Her old grandmother had just looked sad._

_“You don’t look yourself, child. I hope you realise it soon.” But hadn’t deigned to elaborate. That had just served to confuse her some more. Now she understood Zuko’s frustration with his Uncle. Old people never gave a straight answer._

_Aang had been called urgently by Zuko and she had decided to stay for as long as she could, trying to get used to her father's new girlfriend and this new version of home. Sokka seemed to have an easier time of it. But then, he had always been easy going. Aang returned the next summer: the summer of her 18 th year. The problem at the Fire Nation Palace had been taken care of. Apparently it had been quite an adventure which had only served to bring Zuko and Mai back together once again. They would in fact be married within the next few weeks and there would be much celebration! According to Aang, she absolutely could not miss out on Fire Nation festivals and a Royal Wedding would be a very big deal. Team Avatar could reunite again! Katara was excited to see her friend get married. And so it was decided that that’s where they would all go. _

_\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_

Leaning against the railing, she inhaled deeply. En route the Fire Nation once more, somewhere between the mountains that housed the Southern Air temple. It was night time and she was on the deck. The moon was out, washing everything in a silvery glow. They’d been at sea for more than a week now. With nothing to do, she had been stuck with thoughts rattling around uselessly in her head. What was, what is, what could have been.

It had not been a good time.

Despite it all, she felt strangely light and her element surrounding her gave her solace. When the whirlwind in her mind picked up speed or made sleep impossible, she would stand by the bow, sea spray tickling her, salt in her hair. Katara sometimes spent hours there at a stretch. No one dared question her. She also practiced her bending every night under the moon. It gave her peace, stilled her mind (and it tickled her to freak the sailors out with exactly how powerful she was). The first week she’d been at it alone. Then Kya had given in and joined her. They had practiced wordlessly for a few days, maybe just pointing out mistakes and correcting them. That was how she thought this session would go too, and that’s exactly what had happened, except halfway through, Kya dropped her form.

“Why? Why did you do it?” she asked, softly at first, looking out onto the sea. Put off guard, Katara did not know how to respond and after a while just crossed her arms protectively while looked downward.

Impatient and annoyed, Kya finally looked at her and started shouting in an increasingly rising pitch, hands turned to little fists by her sides, “Why? Why? I deserve to know! Why did you leave him? And don’t tell me it was the other way round!” Her little frame was trembling, and the sea was rolling in time to her anger. Of course it would. She was her daughter after all and equally, if not more powerful.

“Do you not love us anymore? Do you not care?” And that snapped her out and she’d pulled her below deck somehow. This conversation was not for prying ears and she was afraid that the ship had enough of those.

Sitting her down on the bed, she crouched so as to be on eye-level with her. Blue eyes: the same shade as her mother’s and her mother before her. “You’re a big girl Kya and you deserve details. I’m sorry, really, that I didn’t give them to you earlier. I still can’t explain everything right now…

“Ugh”

“It’s too painful my star, I did not want to burden you and some answers I don’t know myself, but I will try to tell you as much as I can.”

She took a deep breath, and started, “So, see the thing is I know that you’ve learnt that once you marry someone, you’re bonded for life and that is the meaning of true happiness and whatnot. I believed it too for the longest time, it is what we are taught in the water tribes after all: that every marriage is as inevitable and complete as Tui and La, but…” And here she fidgets playing with her braid, “I just wasn’t happy, my love. And it’s not your fault or your brothers’.” The fidgeting continues but she holds her gaze. “I tried so hard, for so many years, convinced that this was what my life should look like, but I was lying to myself. Your father is a good man, a great man, and he will stay your father. That won’t change. He’s upset at me right now, not at you. But… I just don’t think we’re right for each other. I am sorry it took me so long to realise.”

“You’re not going to go back to him are you” Kya asked, voice trembling, wiping away snot with one hand.

_You are my forever girl._

Katara shook her head, tears gathering at her eyes, “No, I’m not.” As she said it, she knew it to be true. The future was unclear and unmapped but she’d made her decision and would stick to it, for better or worse.

“I understand why you’re angry and you have every right to be. I would have been furious too. Its only fair. ” She pressed her wrists to her eyes to stem the overflow. She had to be strong. There was silence in the room save for the soft sniffling now coming from both of them. Katara gathered her thoughts, and made to speak but her daughter beat her to it.

“I heard you yelling at Dad the other day about us.” Katara gawped at her, eyes wide “You were angry because he only paid attention to Tenny and not to us”

“Oh no my star, you were not supposed to hear that”

“It’s okay mom, I’m a big girl, you said it yourself. You can’t protect me from everything” She continued more quietly, “That was another reason wasn’t it? Why you left?” Katara just nodded again, “I didn’t want you to find out this way, I didn’t want you to blame yourselves. Because that is on him. That he didn’t treat you equally. He still loves you, it’s just terrible being the last of your kind.”

“You’re still making excuses for him.” She had nothing to say about that.

There were tears dripping down Kya’s cheeks which Katara wiped away. “I think I get it Mom.” She said after a while with a tremulous smile “I think it will be okay”.

They stayed up some more, mostly in silence broken by a question or two on Kya’s part, to do with how long they’ll take to get there and what they’ll do once they reach. That night was the first time in a long while that she sang her daughter to sleep next to her in bed.

After that, the journey was smoother. It seemed like the prospect of a holiday and a change of scenery had affected them all. With every passing day, she felt a little more light. Her mind actually let her sleep for hours on a stretch on some lucky days. Kya was talking to her more, Bumi seemed more chipper too. She wondered why he hadn’t brought up the topic with her the way Kya had, so she’d gone to speak to him about it.

“I really don’t want to have this conversation mom. It’s fine, I understand.” Katara did not think it was fine and she said so, but he simply wouldn’t discuss it. After the third request to “Drop it mom, seriously.” She let it go. At least he didn’t look mad at her. Sometimes she wished her children hadn’t inherited her stubborn streak. It made everything so much harder.

Tenzin seemed to have convinced himself that their dad had taken another of his long vacations but in summer this time. Katara had tried to hint otherwise in regular conversation, but these hints were never well received by any of them and she absolutely detested bringing it up. She was only dreading the day it would strike him, especially because she was afraid her son might be as much of a flight risk as his father.

The air had gone from crispy cold to thick and muggy around a week after her talk with Kya. They were moving at an abnormally fast pace primarily because waterbending practice now involved propelling the ship forward clear through the Sea. After more than three weeks of travel, they were nearly upon the Fire Nation Capital. Red banners had started showing up a few days back. They’d stopped in one port town along the way where she’d bought an extra large pack of fire flakes as a joke for Zuko. She remembered how he’d added them to everything when they were camping together. The real gifts were of course the blue dyes and jewellery that had been sent with her.

The town, small as it was had been a bit of a culture shock for the kids. The red clothes with their different cut had Kya staring with her mouth wide open. That had been a little embarrassing but less so than when Bumi had to be nearly pulled out, frothing at the mouth from a shop selling spiced meats. Thank the spirits Tenzin was a quiet child.

“We will see all this and more in the Caldera. Right now, we are on a schedule” she had chastised after indulging them for a bit. Yes, definite proof she was turning into Sokka. He would asphyxiate with laughter if he could see her now.

After that, excitement on the ship grew palpably and she had to applaud the captain’s patience when he answered an “Are we there yet?” at least 20 times a day from each of the kids. She herself had not yelled at them yet because she could feel it too. The excitement. It was in the air and the scents it carried, it was in the sea that had changed colour, it was in the stars that formed different constellations, it was in the beaches and lush greenery they saw from afar.

A startled shout pulled her from her thoughts. It had become twilight already, how long had she been standing here? It seemed Kya had gotten mad at Bumi again and iced over the deck. Again. Bumi had promptly gotten his ankles stuck and fallen on his butt.

“Kya don’t freeze your brother” she said exasperatedly as she melted the ice.

“He was teasing me about Magic Water again!”

“Bumi don’t bully your sister”

“Tell her not to be so bullyable – OH!”

They turned around to look at what he was pointing. They had rounded a turn and the Gates of Azulon loomed up ahead. Looked like they had reached earlier than anticipated. The two majestic statues on either side quickly getting larger and suddenly, she was back to the day of the invasion. Then too the two statues had levelled their judgmental stares at her. She and her family and nearly everyone she loved risking their lives for a chance at taking down the Fire Nation. She had come so close to losing them all. And then there had been the kiss. 

The difference was that now she was an honoured guest, no hostile missiles met her, no burning nets. Instead, in the pink twilight, Caldera city docks twinkled in the distance.

“We’re here! We’re here!!” Bumi yelled as he Kya rushed to lean over the railing.

“Mom! Let’s make the ship move faster!”

“Not this time. I’m going to get Tenzin and make sure we’re packed, do NOT lean too far ahead.” She doubted either of them heard her as they continued staring in the distance, all wide-eyed wonder.

When she got back up, they had reached much closer, probably because Kya had started bending by herself. Katara sighed.

“Kya, stop it. You’ll tire yourself out. We’ll get there when we get there, for now, enjoy the view.” And what a view it was. Vessels of different sizes seemed to have sprung up apparently from thin air. The bay was lined by thousands of shimmering lights which resembled the fireflies local to the area. These, along with the pink of the sky were reflected in the water, now disturbed by naval craft that were either moored or sailing by. A breeze was blowing and it carried with it distant sounds of a Tsungi Horn from somewhere. A soft, lilting tune. And although the place smelled of fish and sea salt, the scent of fire lilies seemed to flit through her mind.

And wasn’t it weird that just then she felt a slight prickle on her neck, hairs standing up. _Zuko_. Almost involuntarily, she smiled.

Soon, individual figures could be made out standing on the docks. One group especially grabbed her attention. There was a man standing at its head with a ramrod straight posture, a flame shaped head piece in place, flanked by six others and an even larger group waiting in the back, forming a protective circle. It looked like the Firelord himself had decided to grace them with his presence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I think that considering Katara’s mental state, she wouldn’t have divulged too much when she had her first conversation with her children. Bumi fully accepts the flimsy explanation because he heard more than he should have the day Katara wept to Sokka (which will come up later), Kya blamed herself (even now, she doesn’t fully understand how unconditional and impartial a father’s love should be) while Tenzin has convinced himself that their dad is off on a long vacation after an argument. This chapter was initially supposed to feature more Zuko but it got a bit too long. I think that mother-daughter moment was necessary though. Just to clarify for the uninitiated, Bumi is a non-bender, Kya is a waterbender, Tenzin is an airbender.  
> Side Note: I love ofbuttsandbombs, she is the quite literally the best.


	4. The Palace

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one took me some time because it's a two part flashback in this chapter and the next, so you can expect the next one sooner! I also plan on updating weekly, my schedule doesn't permit me more free time than that.

_They travelled on Appa again. Her, Aang, Sokka and later Suki and Toph when they picked them up. She would never get tired of how excited her brother got whenever he was reunited with Suki, who was really looking forward to the wedding too, especially because she’d gotten much closer with Zuko over the years when she’d served as the head of his Royal Guard. Toph had been to see him a couple of times and seemed to be thriving: her academy was going great, she was on much better terms with her family and she also had a suitor who she absolutely refused to talk about. Even Aang had changed: over the last few months, he had grown, with his extra inches, he was taller than even Sokka. He’d been in and around the Caldera for a while, rounding up what Ozai supporters he could find and building up support for Zuko and the New Peace. It felt nice catching up with everyone in person and not just via letters. Katara herself mentioned that she was teaching some of Pakku’s students and working in the healer’s hut while also helping with the last of the rebuilding. At this statement, Toph had asked impatiently, “And?” Katara had been confused. “And what?”_

_“And what more are you doing sugarqueen?”_

_“She’s a healer and a waterbending master Toph, what else would you have her do?” Aang had laughed. “She’s also the tribe’s favourite, everyone loves her. Isn’t that right, sweetie?” Katara only smiled back at him. “Besides,” he continued, “soon the two of us will be travelling again, best not to make too many people depend on her back there.”_

_They would travel?_

_Again?_

_When was this decision taken?_

_She felt eyes on her, and Suki sensing her discomfort, changed the topic. But the whole conversation did not sit right with her. She wasn’t sure if she wanted to travel again for some time, but if he’d asked, she’d probably have agreed anyway, so she couldn’t put a finger on why his statement upset her._

_Flying on Appa meant they did not have to go through those gates and relieve memories of the invasion, which was a relief. They simply landed in one of the inner gardens of the Royal Palace and frightened a couple of gardeners. Zuko had not expected them for a few more days at least so all the servants got really distressed that rooms weren’t ready and service wouldn’t be up to the mark. Of course none of them really cared. What was important was that they were reunited again. All of them, after years. There was so much to be discussed._

_Katara wanted to know every single detail of what she had missed in the others’ lives, Suki wanted to assess Zuko’s current Royal Guard, Sokka and Aang wanted to take an active role in wedding planning, Toph wanted to provide the Fire Nation some much needed statues of herself, Zuko wanted to keep the gardens safe from Toph and his wedding safe from Aang and Sokka. Between the five of them, they managed to convince Zuko to take a day off for the first time in months._

_But somewhere, at the back of her mind, The Conversation kept niggling at her. The first night, she tossed and turned, unable to sleep. The second was a full moon so she gave up and went to practice her bending by an isolated fountain near the edge of the grounds. On the third, she was interrupted._

_She sensed him before she saw him and had a dagger of ice ready before he spoke, “Stop Katara, it’s only me.” She recognized that voice._

_“Zuko? What are you doing here? It’s past midnight!”_

_“I could ask you the same? And it’s MY palace.” He said, stepping out of the shadows._

_“Why are you wearing- Oh wait. You were sneaking out, weren’t you?”_

_“What gave me away? Was it the black clothes?” Zuko snorted. “I thought Sokka was the detective.”_

_“I am ten times the detective Sokka will ever be. Now tell me, where were you?”_

_“Erm... out.” There was enough moonlight to see his nose scrunch up and eyes widen. She held in her laughter._

_“Oh, really? And what’s in that bag?”_

_“Uh… rice cakes. That man only sells late at night.”_

_“Share them with me then.”_

_“I um ate them all?” Right on time, Zuko’s stomach rumbled in the silence. And it was Katara’s turn to snort._

_“How can you be a politician and such a terrible liar, Zuko?”_

_“Fine, I’m a liar.” He huffed. “That doesn’t explain what you’re doing here.”_

_“I was bending.” Katara said haughtily._

_“This late?” his eyebrows shot up._

_“The moon.” She said by way of explanation._

_Still, he prodded, “The moon has been up for hours now.”_

_“Fine! I couldn’t sleep, alright! Sue me.” She said, getting annoyed. Not five minutes alone with him and he managed to get under her skin. He was silent for a while, as though contemplating her words. “Do you… want to talk about it? I could make some tea to relax you.” This startled her. Sometimes she’d still be surprised by this Zuko, not the arrogant and hot-headed prince who’d hunted them years ago. When she didn’t respond immediately, he quickly followed up with, “I’ve gotten much better now, Mom says she likes it and Uncle can actually stomach it these days, don’t worry. Okay, that does not sound reassuring.” Katara wondered how the housekeeping even let the Firelord near the kitchens and Zuko took the moment of contemplation as hesitation because he then blabbered on, “On second thought, if you’d rather be by yourself, you’re more than welcome, sorry for bothering you, I’ll just go away-"_

_“Okay, stop.” She said, holding her hands up. “Wait, wait. I’d like to take you up on your offer. That sounds lovely.”_

_They stole in through secret passages in the Palace without the guards knowing. Who knew that the tapestry of the ugly Fire Sage hid a secret door to the Fire Lord's chambers? When asked about the security issues, he was flippant, "Ah, don't worry. No one else knows about it." Katara was not convinced."If you say so."He apparently had a private tea room in his apartment suite and called for some rice cakes while he steeped the leaves. Once they were comfortable, he asked her. “If you want to tell me what’s wrong, I’m all ears.”_

_She sighed. Might as well. Zuko wasn’t one to break confidence. “I’m thinking about my relationship with Aang.” He only furrowed his brows. “It’s just that I get the feeling sometimes, that he doesn’t really see me. Like he takes me for granted.” That last part had just spilled out. She wondered where it came from and in the ensuing silence, he asked, “Have you tried talking to him about it?” he asked while sipping his tea._

_“Talk to him about what? He’s always so considerate of me, so romantic. And he thinks so highly of me. The other day he got me a whole bunch of roseblossoms, for no reason. I don’t want to make a mountain out of a molehill. We don’t really fight, I don’t want to change that. We’re happy.” Why did it have to sound like she was convincing herself?_

_Zuko furrowed his brows a little more. “If I were uncle, I’d understand right away and offer you a proverb for all your problems. As it is, you’re stuck with me and I’m a little confused.” So Katara, between sips replayed the conversation that had gotten her so worked up. When she spoke it out loud, she seemed to realise exactly what it was that had troubled her. “It doesn’t feel right, Zuko. How could he just assume that I’d go with him? I probably would, but he can’t take decisions on my behalf like that! This is good tea by the way.”_

_“I think you should tell him. If there’s one thing I’ve learnt, it is to let it out instead of keeping all your feelings bottled in. You guys have known each other so long, I’m sure he’d understand. And thanks.”_

_“It’s not just this one thing, though. I think it may be many smaller instances. They sound so trivial, you won’t get it.”_

_“Try me.”_

_Katara shook her head. “It’s stupid. Some of these are ages old and some are ridiculous. I personally let them go at the time.” Zuko looked like he was about to interrupt, with a finger raised, but Katara was faster. “Nuh-uh. You want me to tell you all my secrets yet you won’t even tell me where you’ve been.”_

_“I went to see Mai. My heart yearns for her.” He replied readily._

_“You’re lying again. But at least this one isn’t an insult to my intelligence.”_

_“How did you know?” He asked, genuinely confused._

_“That’s for me to know and you to find out.” She smirked. “Seriously though, why won’t you tell me? I’m your friend, I’m worried.” Something seemed to shift in his expression. For a single moment he seemed sad before a mask fell. “There’s nothing for you to worry about. I can take care of myself.” Picking up the tea things, he said “It’s late, I need to get changed. Goodnight, Katara”._

_She was confused. What just happened? “What’s wrong? Did I say something? Did I do something wrong?” He shook his head, “It’s nothing.”_

_Wait. Zuko was upset. He was legitimately upset. With her. How the tables had turned. She didn’t know what to do so she just sat wringing her hands as he turned his back to her. An idea. “Okay... So, um… I was thinking, we haven’t sparred in ages, would you like to have a go? Or are you afraid I’ll beat you again like every other time?” That got his attention. “Tomorrow, at dawn.”_

_“Of course, who needs sleep?”_

_They sparred the next morning. He won and she demanded a rematch. She won the morning after that. And the morning after that. Katara had forgotten how exhilarating sparring with him was. She hadn’t had this much fun in ages. There was no holding back, it was an equal give and take of two master benders. The guards half the time didn’t know if they should run in and protect their ruler or not. Zuko seemed to enjoy them too, but there was no progress made with him. He’d run off with some excuse or the other. They all had dinner together, she saw him in the passageways, he brought Mai along to some of their wedding planning sessions but she never got him alone. He hadn’t returned to the fountain again. Not to mention that she still hadn’t talked to Aang. One afternoon, a few days after their talk, she decided to resolve the one thing she could and went to find her boyfriend. When Appa’s stable didn’t work, she tried the gardens. She hadn’t expected to find Zuko instead._

_He was sitting by a pond in one of the inner gardens, feeding the turtleducks. There was a sakura tree above him and carefully tended shrubbery and firelilies ringing the small pond. His headpiece was laid aside so that hair fell on his face and shoulders. The turtleducks seemed to love him, clambering on his lap and nipping at him. She hadn’t seen him look more at peace than he did in that moment, disturbing him felt like a crime. So she stood in silence behind her tree for a while, just observing._

_“Do you want to feed them too?”_

_She startled “How did you know I was here?” He just shrugged._

_So Katara came by and sat next to him. Here was her perfect opportunity to broach the subject, but she faltered. So they just sat in silence for a while broken by the quacking of what she thought were the cutest creatures she’d seen. He looked deep in thought as she took the grain from him._

_“Did you talk to him?” he asked, still not looking at her. “Not yet.”_

_More silence._

_She sighed. “Please tell me what’s wrong, Zuko.”_

_“Nothing’s wrong.”_

_“You’re lying.”_

_“I am not the person you should be confronting.”_

_“That’s neither here nor there. Zuko, please. Just tell me what I did.” He simply pinched the bridge of his nose. “Zuko-”_

_“NOTHING, KATARA, you haven’t done anything. That is the point.” He nearly yells out. The turtleduck that had snuggled up and slept in his lap frantically flapped away. “Do you know the number of assassination attempts I survived? The crap I had to go through with the people who should have been trustworthy? How difficult it is overhauling an entire economy, education system and council of ministers that is bred only for war?” He was getting more agitated. “Do you know the stuff I was going through during the Yu Dao fiasco? Suki was with me through it all, Sokka always wrote, Toph visited too from time to time, Aang was just here sorting out that shit with the Ozai loyalists. You never visited, almost never wrote, and the only reason you came to help with Mom is because I called Aang! I thought we were friends, Katara, what happened?”_

_And in that moment she felt wretched. She’d written some perfunctory letters but hadn’t visited because she was fully committed to travelling with Aang and hadn’t really kept in touch with any of the friends she’d made while travelling. She’d gone where she thought she was needed most. Had she really just blocked out everything else? Now that she thought about it, she was on good terms with Suki and Toph only because they had joined on some of their adventures. In fact, she had hardly spent any time by herself for herself, out of love and duty. When she told him this, he just looked sadly at her._

_“You sound different, these days Katara,” she looked up at him sharply. She couldn’t help but feel like he was echoing Gran Gran’s sentiments. “You have no say in where the two of you go, what you do and you still wonder why he takes you for granted?” That one got her right between the ribs. She wanted to protest that they were happy, that Aang was the perfect boyfriend and explain why exactly his assessment was so wrong, but this was neither the time nor place._

_“I’m sorry, really sorry. I wish I could go back and change things. I don’t even know how to ask you to forgive me or where to start.” Zuko finally looked her in the eyes and sounding perplexed, said, “You’re sorry? Honestly, after everything I’ve put you through during the war, I don’t think I’ll ever be done being sorry. As it is, I’m lucky all of you took me in your group. I just thought that after what we went through together, maybe we’d …bonded, that we understood each other better, perhaps it was just me.”_

_“No, Zuko this is all on me.” She said, latching on to his hands. “I am in the wrong. Let me make it up to you, please?” He didn’t reply just looking at her with wide, confused eyes and she went ahead and hugged him – an awkward, sideways hug. He didn’t return it as such, but leaned into her. Good. She’d take her small victories. Also, Katara notice that he smelled nice: a combination of the clean sandalwood smell of expensive soap and faintly- woodsmoke - ?_ _T_ _hey sat in silence for the rest of the afternoon. Except now she felt that it was more of a companionable silence than before._

_Later, she had her talk with Aang. He was confused and kept asking, “You don’t want to travel with me anymore?”_

_“It’s not that. I love travelling. Maybe I don’t want to right now, but that’s not the point.”_

_“I don’t get it, why not? You’ve always enjoyed it. We've had a great time right?”_

_“I think for now I’d like to spend more time with friends and family. It’s good to have people who love you around you.”_

_“But you stayed at home for so long.”_

_“It’s still not enough. Everything’s changed so much, I want to get used to it a little. They need me there. I also want to stay here for a while with Zuko.”_

_“I was thinking of visiting the outer islands...”_

_“You can still do that. I’ll wait for you here.” She had a say in her relationship, no matter what that bird-brained idiot thought._

_“But I love you sweetie. I need you too.” And he finally pulled the largest weapon in his armoury: the sad puppy-panda face. Internally, she groaned; she hated hurting him, but she had to be strong._

_“And I love you, but I need this.” He visibly deflated but she had to soldier on._

_“Also Aang, maybe next time, don’t take decisions for the two of us by yourself? I didn’t like it when you announced our plans to everyone without consulting me. We are a team aren’t we?”_

_At this reminder, he smiled. “Yes, we are. I thought you didn’t want to travel with me and Appa anymore. Got me a bit worried there.” Now that he towered over her, he could fully enfold her in one of his hugs. With his chin on her head he said, “You are my forever girl, Katara. I’ll let you know before deciding for the two of us in the future.”_

_She was fairly certain there was a small Toph in her head yelling that she didn’t need anyone deciding anything for her; that she was her own person but then she remembered herself. Baby steps. Aang would understand, she just had to go about it in a way that didn’t hurt him too much. So although she was still unsure that he’d actually got it, she let it go. That night she saw Zuko by the fountain, again in his black clothes. “I did it,” she told him. He only nodded at her._

_But he came back to spar with her and she sat and fed the turtleducks with him the next day. And the next. And the next. It was a ritual of theirs. A few days later she caught him sneaking in once more and asked to speak with him._

_“Uhh Katara if it’s advice you want again, I’m really not too great at that, can I interest you in a sarcastic comment instead?” She’d actually cracked a smile. But considering that he was the only one who had ever been in her current situation, she went ahead and asked him anyway._

_She asked him what it had felt like, coming home after 3 years of banishment: if it had lived up to his expectations. He seemed surprised that she was bringing this up now, but still spoke of exactly how out of place he’d felt. “The home I remembered was lazy afternoons with mom, summers in Ember Island with family, sword fighting and firebending training, a palace staff that knew me. Everything here was the same: the gardens, Ember Island, the Palace itself, but also, somehow things couldn’t have been more different.” That just about summed up her situation back South and they explored over hours what it meant when what they’d considered home had become more of an idea than anything else. She told him about the new version of the Southern Water Tribe, the one she’d missed out on as it had taken shape. “Nearly nothing is the same anymore, not the people, not the village, not Dad. They all moved on and they did it without me.” It was the first time she’d voiced her thoughts, but he seemed to understand._

_The next night, he snuck out of the Palace instead of sneaking in from outside. This time, she asked him about his mom. It had been on her mind for the last few days. He seemed to consider for a second then sat next to her on the edge of the fountain and told her: about his mom, his new sister and step-father. She tried to be as supportive as he had the previous night, but she could tell that there were some bits that he wasn’t telling her. They came out over the next few days. As well as her true thoughts on her father’s new girlfriend, Aang’s fan club and Sokka and Suki’s relationship, his hopes and fears about Azula, the farmer's revolts in the Wester Sector and what Sokka's plans for the bachelor's night were. Despite his self-deprecatory comments, he was a good listener_ _and it helped that they had such common opinions._

_Some things she hadn’t confided in anyone else, but under cover of darkness, with the gush of the fountain behind her and him by her side, she felt like she could talk about anything and everything. There was nothing outside this little bubble of theirs. She was surprised; if anyone had told her a few weeks ago that she would have nightly heart-to- hearts with the current Fire Lord and erstwhile Angry Jerk, she would have laughed out loud. But soon, these became an indispensable part of her daily routine and over the days, they leeched into their afternoon sessions too. They still hung out with everyone else, but these meetings of theirs were sacred and an unspoken secret. There would be no discussing them or anything that had been discussed in them with anyone else. Sometimes, she caught Toph looking at her oddly, but the girl wouldn’t say anything._

_One afternoon, after a particularly stressful wedding planning session, he got frustrated and told her exactly what the barebones of the ceremony were supposed to look like. “This is how it’s supposed to be! Not this gaudy monstrosity that no one but Uncle or Sokka will enjoy.”_

_“I’m certain I will enjoy it too." She pointed out cheerily._

_“Yes, go on.” He huffed. “Laugh. Cheer while you watch my soul being sucked out.”_

_“Well, it’s better than ours anyway.” She said sourly, “It used to be this simple thing, but now it seems the Northerners feel the need to improve our marriage customs too.” She threw a pebble in the pond and watched it skitter away. Zuko waited patiently for an explanation._

_“Betrothal necklaces are common to the Northern Tribe. I wear the one Gran Gran brought with her when she ran from the North. She gave it to mom and I inherited it after she passed away. Us Southerners are simple people. The couple approach the elders, there is some chanting and then the man cloaks the woman in pelts of the finest animal he’s managed to kill. Marriages are official only after the birth of the first child. But now we have the new and improved version: a subtle reminder that the woman belongs to the man every time she looks in her mirror, because it seems we are not cultured enough - Why are you looking at me like that?”_

_He spluttered, blushed and ran his hand through his hair nervously. “I’m sorry, I uh didn’t mean to creep you out or anything, I just enjoy listening to you go off passionately about these things, Tara.”_

_“You weren’t being creepy and… wait. What did you call me?”_

_“Um…Tara?” he blushed some more. “I thought friends did nicknames, uh forget it.” He mumbled. She just knew a big blustering apology was headed her way, so before he could start, she smiled widely and said, “I love it.” Zuko beamed back: definitely the largest smile she’d seen so far. “I’m glad.” His eyes shone gold in the dappled afternoon sunlight and for some unknown reason, she felt warmth across her cheeks. Finding that for once, she couldn’t hold his gaze, she looked away and plucked a firelilly to tuck behind her ear. A soft breeze ruffled her hair and it nearly fell out, but a warm hand righted it again, lingering perhaps half a beat too long against her skin. And so that afternoon passed too: just the two of them, feet dipped in the pond, sitting a little closer than was strictly appropriate._

_\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_

She could see Zuko’s figure getting steadily closer, standing tall, broad and stiff in his red robes and flowing cape. She hastily checked up on whether her kids remembered any of the etiquette they’d been taught in the last few days. They just feverishly nodded at her, eyes wide. When the ramp lowered, Katara was the first one off. She was personally still unsure what she’d say to him beyond the formal greeting. It had been so long since they’d written to each other and even longer since they’d met.

She walked up to within a few feet of him and bowed her head, hands folded in the traditional Fire Nation greeting. “Fire Lord Zuko. I sincerely thank you for welcoming us into your beautiful home and for coming all the way to greet us.” He bowed back before stepping closer to clasp her forearm in the Water Tribe style. “The pleasure is all mine, Master Katara. I hope you had a good journey.” And oh, hearing those words, it was like a heavyweight off her chest. She had been so afraid that he’d refer to her as the Avatar’s Wife, that she’d have to awkwardly correct him in front of the gathered crowd and his Royal Guard. She still would have to tell him what happened, but at least now it wouldn’t be in front of an audience.

So she squeezed his forearm back and answered, “We did” before finally chancing a proper look at him. Her first thought was that he’d grown his hair out. Even with his topknot, it reached beyond his shoulders, sleek black tresses blowing in the evening breeze but he’d kept his face clean shaven so that his jawline looked sharp as ever. He looked good, he always had, but now he also looked serious- as though he rarely smiled, a face marked by harsh lines. Wondering if she could still see a trace of that bumbling 20 year old idiot she’d left behind, she looked into his eyes and found that they were the same. Even if all of him changed, she would recognise those eyes. Golden like the sunrise, and currently assessing her the same way she was him. Then they flit to her neck and appeared confused. She whispered, “Later” and Zuko gave an imperceptible nod before turning around to greet the children. 

They bowed to him and he bowed back, smiling wider than he had previously; which wasn’t really saying much. Turning to Kya, he crouched down and said, “That was a very impressive display of bending. I must thank you for not keeping me waiting too long” Kya absolutely glowed and Katara’s heart seemed to expand in her chest. “Don’t encourage her” she chided fondly. Breaking all decorum, Kya stuck her tongue out at her before turning back to Zuko and saying, “You’re welcome, Firelord Zuko.”

“No, no. Just Uncle Zuko please.” Looking at the boys on either side of her, both doing their best to stand stiff and straight, he said, “And I suppose this miniature Sokka is Bumi? I’ve heard you’re as good as him with a boomerang?” Bumi puffed up with pride and in a rare show of humility said, “Not yet.”

“You will be.” He said, patting him on his shoulder. “And this is our newest airbender! Got any tricks for me?”

“Yes, Fire- I mean Uncle Zuko, if you want to see” he looked down shyly, shuffling his feet. “Go ahead then” and Tenzin made a tiny ball of air in his hand with pieces of stone flying around. Distantly she heard gasps and out of the corner of her eyes, she saw Kya rolling her eyes. Zuko smiled even wider and ruffled his hair. “That was amazing! Now if you will follow me? Master Katara, kids.”

‘ _Katara_ ’. Her smile flickered a little. 

“Of course, Fire Lord” and this time it was his expression that wavered.

As expected there were palanquins ready to take them back, with curtains shielding them from view of the common people. Her children and her were seated in the larger one while Zuko took the smaller yet clearly more embellished one. She definitely did not like this part and her children, brought up in the Water Tribe way of community and hardship also looked uncomfortable with the fact that there were essentially people carrying them. So she took this opportunity to ensure they knew how things worked here: in the Palace and the Fire Nation as a whole; from the clear class hierarchy to the formalities expected of them. “I will instruct you as and when the situation arises, but be on your best for now. I don’t think Zuko would mind so much, but the nobility is uptight and mean.” Even as she said it, she realised that she wasn’t sure. She wondered how and why her friend had changed, and what, if anything that she knew about him still held true. How _did_ people behave in these situations, when they met old friends that they hadn’t communicated with in years?

Peering through the curtains, they could see as the capital passed by, beautiful houses with red tiled slanting roofs, well maintained gardens, men and women in flowing robes, all stopping to stare at the royal procession, trying to get a glimpse of their ruler. The splendour slowly increased the closer they got to the palace. Soon, the main gate and grounds came into view and beyond that, steps leading up to the real building. They were carried up these too, and then a couple more gates, finally disembarking in front of the palace entrance. To Katara, it looked like nothing had changed since she was last here: lit sconces providing more than enough light to appreciate the majestic red structure looming above them with its wide sweeping roof, supported by columns which had golden stone dragons coiled around them, and the wide tiled courtyard and small army of servants and guards. So though she herself gave no response, she heard three very audible gasps behind her. Yes, that would be her reaction too, seeing this place for the first time. Such as it was, that had happened after the Agni Kai and it was safe to say that she was in no mood to appreciate architecture at that point.

Standing at the forefront was a thin old man and a young girl, standing demurely in pretty pink robes and wearing what were they called? Yes spectacles. Won’t do to forget that word. As the party approached, she could just feel her children scrutinising the child, who she looked on inquisitively. Zuko strode on ahead with Katara slightly behind him, back straight, hands by her sides carefully avoiding the sweep of his cape. As they approached, the man bowed, “A very good evening to you Firelord Zuko.” Zuko nodded at him. Then turning to Katara, he said “My lady, it is our great honour to welcome the Avatar’s Wife into the Fire Nation, my name is …” And the rest of his words were lost to her.

_You are my forever girl._

No. Stop it. Focus.

Digging her nails into her hands, she forced herself back to the present, and realised that Zuko was speaking, in a tone that she hadn’t heard before. He sounded… intimidating. “Minister, you are talking to one of the greatest waterbenders ever and a gifted healer, I would advise you to refer to her as such, at risk of insulting her and her bending prowess.”

The old man looked terrified for a moment. “Of course my Lord, I extend my sincerest apologies Master Katara.”

She forced a smile on her face, “Thank you for the lovely welcome and for correcting yourself. I would indeed prefer Master Katara.” 

“This is Minister Yoshida. He is in charge of the Palace and Caldera city. And this,” he said with a clear softening of voice, beckoning the girl forward, “Is Izumi, my daughter. She is ten years old. Izumi, this is my old friend Katara and her kids: Bumi, Kya and Tenzin. Kya is your age, Bumi is 12 and Tenzin is 8. Show them around the Palace. I hope you all will get along well.” Taking this as his queue, Bumi cracked a toothy smile and moved forward, hand extended. Kya hissed, “No Bumi, come back!” but now it was too late. Izumi looked confused and Minister Yoshida’s eyebrows had lifted off his forehead. After a beat, where Bumi’s smile wavered, Zuko moved forward, “See he’s shaking hands with you, it’s a gesture of friendship. You grip his hand back like this” and he demonstrated. He let go and Izumi tried it, a little hesitantly at first before squeezing back. She smiled up at all of them, and said, “It is wonderful to have you all here.” 

Minister Yoshida then introduced her to Aki, her lady in waiting, who would take care of all her needs. Knowing how fruitless it was to refuse and argue, Katara simply nodded. They all then went inside, where she gave the gifts she’d brought with her and parted in the entrance hallway with a promise to meet for dinner in some time.

Through red columns and hallways lined by paintings they went. Though she remembered the place vaguely, she would have to learn the passages again or risk getting hopelessly lost. It helped that the layout was more or less the same so she had a good idea where they were and she smiled to herself as she passed the Ugly Fire Sage. It did _not_ help that everything was red and gold. The guest chambers still had the painting of the woman in gold robes outside it but the interiors had been slightly changed. Their rooms (all ridiculously large and well furnished) actually had blue elements in them. The curtains and sheets were blue with waves painted on the folding partitions.

“Mom, I don’t want to EVER leave!” Bumi yelled flinging himself on the large bed. Next Kya jumped on it and they began bouncing up and down, trying to convince Tenzin to airbend them higher with every jump. “This place is amazing!!” Kya squealed.

“Please don’t break the bed.” Despite herself, she started grinning, “But yeah it kind of is, isn’t it?”

They made it just in time for dinner in the Fire Lord’s personal chambers and would have a hundred percent have gotten lost had it not been for Aki. Katara tried to memorise the directions from the tapestries: left from the rooster-eagle, right from the bald fat man and so on. She’d need to work on it.

Dinner itself was a strange affair. Zuko asked them about their journey, about their training, about how they liked their accommodation. Kya and Bumi burst out with very effusive answers and they kept the conversation going. They LOVED their rooms, the journey was a bit dull, and Kya and Tenzin were well on their way to become masters. Zuko was good with kids. Huh. Who knew. Izumi was quiet for the most part except when Katara asked her about her studies. She went on for quite a while about that topic. “The scholar in the family” her father said affectionately. She blushed and proceeded to tell him all about her grades in the recent history exam, “I lost a mark there because they misspelled Fire Lord Atsuki, and wrote Atsuji instead, which is totally unfair, don’t you think so Dad? And when I pointed it out, she called me a snoot! Can you imagine?! ” her righteous anger suddenly gave way to embarrassment when she realised she had forgotten some five rules of table manners somewhere in this conversation. Not that anyone at the table actually cared. Kya asked her, “She sounds like a horrible person, why didn’t you just burn the paper? It would send a strong message.”

“Kya!” The girl just shrugged.

“Um, I’m not a bender” Izumi said, suddenly fidgeting with her sleeves. “But I have my knives. Just like Mom” And a wistful smile appeared on her face. “Oh and Aunty Ty is also teaching me chi-blocking! She’s really cool!” 

“You’re a non-bender too?” Bumi asked in wonder.

“Yep” and his eyes flickering to Zuko who had the most adoring smile on his face. It was quite something, to see those austere lines soften drastically “She’s fantastic. She can beat most benders her age.”

“You’re embarrassing me, Dad!” his daughter squeaked out, hiding her face behind her hands. After this exchange, Bumi was silent through what was left of dinner.

At the end of it, Katara spoke up, “Zuko? A word?” He nodded and led her towards his private tea parlour as the children were shepherded to their rooms. He pushed open the ornate door, and déjà vu hit her full in the face. The last time she was here alone with him was the time she’d brought up her problems with Aang and now more than a decade later, she would discuss their divorce. The irony was not lost on her. She gravitated towards the seat she’d taken then and same as before, Zuko took his after making them both a pot of tea. Facing her, in all seriousness he said, “I’m all ears.”

And oh, how she wished she could recognise that face, how she wished that she could still call him a friend. Why exactly hadn’t they kept in touch? She wanted to believe this was the same troubled boy with the scar but it felt like too much had changed in the last 13 years. He had changed and so had she. Still, she prepared herself. He had accepted Sokka’s plea after all, no questions asked; the least he deserved was an explanation.

“So… you probably noticed the necklace”

“Hm? Oh, oh yes. It’s your mother’s isn’t it? What happened to-” and it must’ve been at this point that he noticed her downcast expression because he stopped himself and said, “You don’t have to explain anything that you don’t want to.”

“No, no it’s okay. It has to be said. I gave Aang back the necklace he gave me when I broke up with him. The tribe knows and I wrote to Toph but no one else yet.”

“I … had no idea. When did it happen?”

“Around two months ago.”

“I’m so sorry. I never imagined, that you two of all people would divorce.”

“Me neither.” She said, waiting for him to ask the next big question: why. But he never did. He looked a little pained, but stayed silent. So she continued, “I know it’s a common concept here and in the Earth Kingdom, but back home, marriages are sacred. I may be the first one in … Tui knows how long." She paused for a bit, collecting her thoughts. "It’s such an ugly word. Divorce that is, that too from the Avatar. Suffice to say I am no one’s favourite back home.” She barked out a humourless laugh. “I decided to get away for a while when it got too much. It started affecting the children, and I couldn’t let that happen. So here I am now, trespassing on your hospitality” She could feel the tears coming and hid her face behind a long sip of tea that burned her mouth. She coughed some out of her nostrils and spluttered, “That’s some good tea.”

“Thanks. I have improved over the years, Uncle actually likes it now. Also, you can stay here for as long as you want. Trespass away. Even if people found out, no one will judge you here. As you said, separation and divorce are common here: and they can be initiated by either parties. Honestly, after all these years, some of your tribe’s customs still confuse me.”

She smile wanly, “Me too, there has been an improvement, but we have a long way to go. Also, _you_ definitely have a lot to learn. Teach your daughter too. She’ll need to know how to greet dignitaries at the very least.”

“Yes, yes. They'll be taught all that in the next school year. She has enough of our own etiquette to master before we go there. The most boring things but apparently necessary if she’s to be taken seriously as a ruler.”

There was a short silence wherein both of them just sipped tea. She searched for conversation topics when she remembered, “I got you something.” He just raised his good brow quizzically. “You already gave me quite a few somethings.”

“Not that silly, this is for _you_.” And she brought out the fireflakes packet from her bag.

“You remembered!” and for the first time since her return he smiled at her: truly smiled, eyes sparkling with mirth. How could she forget the days at the beach house when he finished off packet after packet as a ‘light snack’. “Of course.” And then he proceeded to eat them by the handfuls in between sips of tea. “Gross. Where are your manners your majesty?” but she was beaming too now. There he was, she could recognise this boy. But even as he ate, she found herself floundering for more common topics.

“The weather is lovely, though I was expecting more cherry blossom this time.”

“They bloom for around a week a year- a little unpredictable. You just missed the season.”

What else could one say about the weather? Alright, then about the journey here: “You asked about our journey didn’t you? It was a bit more eventful than the kids would have you believe. Bumi got drunk with the sailors once, Tenzin nearly sneezed himself off the ship thrice and I’ve lost count of the number of times Kya has hit one or both of them in the face with ice or water, mostly just because she could.”

“That sounds… eventful.”

“Kept me on my toes throughout. Also, thanks for coming all the way to pick us up!"

"Ahh, it was nothing. The captain had orders to send a hawk when you reached the Black Cliffs."

"Well thanks anyway. Enough about me, how have you been?”

“Me? Same old, same old.”

But what was same old? She didn’t have much of an idea what went on in his life, so she latched on to the one thing that she did know. “So you still sneak out?”

“I’m old now Katara. I have a daughter. It’s been 13 years.” And it crept on her again, the sadness. She wanted to talk about all that had happened in the last few years, about why there had been no communication between them, but before she could even broach the subject, he said,” I have back to back meetings tomorrow, I’m afraid, I must turn in now. Good night, Katara.”

_Katara._

“Good night Zuko.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, that was a Chandler quote I snuck in there. As for Zuko, if you've seen Favlie's Long Haired Zuko art anywhere, I'm using that as inspiration (because it's amazing). Also, I feel he would be great with kids: he was good with Lee, the Earth Kindom boy, Kiyi his 8yr old step-sister in the comics, and A+ dadko in gaang shenanigans. Also, I know Sandalwood is an Indian thing, not Imperial Japan, but forgive this brown author for absolutely loving the smell of it. If you want to chat with me, I'm on Tumblr! @that-turtleduck  
> PS: about the Kataang dynamic- I don't think either of them is a bad person, they're just bad for each other: where K is always protective of A, always goes along with his ideas and never actively confronts him about the things which upset her and he doesn't understand or challenge her and is always made to believe he's infallible. I really hope I'm putting my point across.


	5. Making Friends

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll be honest, not super duper pleased with this one, idk why. But I'm tired of being stuck on the same chapter, so here we go :)

_Their meetings continued. There was a sense of peace and security to them now. She let her guard down and talked to him about absolutely anything that had crossed her mind that day. The spicy food, the people she met- friendly or hostile, the latest baby duckling. He must have felt the same because one evening he accidentally let slip that he’d learnt to play the Tsungi Horn as part of his royal education. Which was a mistake on his part because there was no way she was dropping that topic. He still hadn’t told her where he went at night, but she hoped that he would one day._

_“Tara, let it go” he pleaded with her the third day after the slip up._

_“Nope.”_

_“Tara, please.”_

_“Tell me if I have ever in my life ‘let go’ of anything.”_

_“Well, what about the Aang stuff-“_

_“No, not that! That’s another matter!”_

_“If you say so.” He replied carefully._

_And that got to her for some reason. She just looked away, staring in the mid distance quietly and he seemed to understand that he’d crossed a line._

_“Okay, okay, I’m sorry.” She just pouted some more and turned farther away. He sighed. “Will you forgive me if I promise to play it for you tomorrow?” At this, she looked back and smiled at him._

_True to his word, he’d gotten the Tsungi Horn and played Four Seasons to an audience of Katara and the turtleducks. It was the most beautiful thing she’d heard. She said so and requested an encore. He ended up playing the same song six times in the end, after which she presented him with a bunch of firelillies as a gift._

_“You plucked these from my own gardens in front of my eyes!” He laughed, but accepted them. It was a singularly lovely sound and made her stomach flutter. A feeling she steadfastly ignored._

_One evening, after an especially ugly fight with Mai, he sat and told her their shared history of ons and offs. “She’s the perfect choice for me, really. She knows me since childhood, we’ve been together for a while now, she’s a Fire Nation noblewoman.” Katara agreed. Mai with her cool attitude, intelligence, family connections and regal appearance was born for the post of Fire Lady. “Then why do we fight so much? Why do I always have to walk on eggshells around her? This is the way forward, I know it is, then why do I still feel uneasy?” All she could do was hold him and try to smooth away his doubts. She herself had only the experience of a single relationship. But he wasn’t looking for advice, he just needed someone who’d listen and not consistently talk in proverbs. At one point, in true Zuko fashion, he apologised for talking too much, for ‘making it all about him’._

_“Oh, hush Zuko. I want to listen, I want to help. I’m here for you willingly.” He still looked unsure, but after observing her expression for a while, he nodded._

_“Thank you. That means a lot to me. I’m here for you too, Tara, if you should ever need me. Now and always.”_

_He never called her Katara anymore, it was always Tara and she’d gotten used to it. On one such evening, he told her that Mai had found out about their “‘clandestine meetings’ quote unquote”. Katara didn’t ask why he hadn’t just told her himself. He said that she hadn’t been pleased and they’d fought again. He didn’t come by the next two days. He was back on the third. They didn’t discuss it again._

_Sokka asked her where she disappeared during a dinner when they were all sitting together and she just said she liked going for walks. To help with her digestion of course. Toph snorted next to her and chimed in, “Perhaps you should cut back on all the Fire Nation spice. You too Sparky.” Aang wanted to accompany her, but she requested ‘me’ time. “Sure you want your friend around for your ‘me time’ Tara?” Zuko joked that evening. She swatted his arm and watched as his eyes glowed in the moonlight, an easy smile on his face._

_When she finally found her way to her room that evening, a shadow called out “Hello” to her and she yelped and jumped four feet back before realising who it was. “You scared me half to death, Toph what are you doing here? At least put on some lights!”_

_“See, the thing about being blind Sugarqueen, is that I don’t really care if a room is lit or not. The more important question is, what are you doing?”_

_“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Katara replied, nose in the air. It was a futile attempt and she knew it. “I think you do. Your heartbeat is through the roof. I can feel it all the way from here.”_

_“If you’re talking about me spending time with Zuko, we’re just friends. Nothing more.”_

_“Then you won’t mind me tagging along the next time I’m sure.” Katara found that she had nothing to say to her, because of course she minded- it was her and Zuko’s time, after all and she intended to keep it that way._

_“I stopped your boyfriend from following you today, just saying.” This shook Katara, but the other girl just looked bored. Having apparently said her bit and lost interest, she got up to leave._

_“Toph, you have the wrong idea” Katara said with a shaky laugh “I don’t know what you think is happening but-“_

_“What I think is there’s going to be drama.” Toph’s words were cutting, but rang true. “Which sounds fun, honestly, but I don’t want to see my friends get hurt. I don’t know what’s going on with you, but figure out your shit quickly.” There was no sleep for her that night._

_A few days later, there was a dance, in honour of the royal couple, organised by Iroh, going absolutely against Zuko’s express wishes. The whole thing was part of Iroh and Aang’s idea to ‘bring culture and dance back into the Fire Nation after a century of oppression’. Worded like that, Zuko had had no choice but to go along with the scheme and Iroh went all out. Katara thought his apprehension was because he was a poor dancer, but that couldn’t be further from the truth. He brought the same grace and refinement into dancing that he did in firebending. It was hypnotic to watch. He and Mai cut an awe-inspiring figure, swathed in their robes of crimson and gold, turning in time with the music and she saw more than a few nobles nodding in approval. Aang grabbed her hand and suddenly they were dancing as well. Theirs wasn’t the formal stiff dance of the Fire Nation nobility, but he was a performer at heart, and both of them were master benders, able to captivate their audience easily. More couples joined in and distantly she could see Sokka and Suki twirling away as fast as possible. She shared a smile with Ty Lee as she pulled a very grumpy Toph along._

_Katara thought she was enjoying herself, the attention and the fast pace of the music, her head spinning. After a bit, the music changed and she found that she could recognise this tune: it was Four Seasons, slow and melodic. On some impulse, she looked up beyond Aang’s shoulder – and somehow straight into Zuko’s eyes. They held hers as they both continued dancing with their respective partners and for a moment she felt suspended in time. Everything else melted away and it was just the two of them in the room. He had on a look, strange yet familiar, sad yet hopeful, full of some meaning which she was yet to grasp but it gave her the irrational urge of setting everything aside and stepping into his arms. She wanted to smooth away the melancholy in his features, she wanted to drag him away from this stuffy room, she wanted to sniff the strong, heady smell of him, she wanted... The music changed, Aang twirled her away and the spell broke._

_After some time, they changed partners and she did her fair bit of socialising before fleeing to a balcony for a respite; from the endless line of nobles wanting to dance with her and her own swirling thoughts: only to find it occupied._

_“This is my hiding spot, find your own”, he grumpied at her._

_“You are the HOST Zuko!”_

_“And?” he asked tipping his chin forward._

_“People are searching for you.” She couldn’t believe that she had to point this out._

_“So? I’m fairly certain people are searching for you too right now.”_

_“I’m not leaving.”_

_“Well neither am I.”_

_She fumed silently for a while before he held out his hand. She looked at it and then him, a little shocked. “I’ll go back only if you do.” A dance with Zuko? She would be lying if she said that she hadn’t thought about it before. Truth be told, she had given it far more thought than necessary._

_Stepping closer, she pointed out, “That’s unfair, I only just got here. What makes you think I’d want to dance with you?” and pretended to think a little, just to watch him get flustered and try to withdraw his hand. But before he could start bumbling again, she continued with a smirk, “But I will if you ask nicely.”_

_He smiled shyly, clearly relieved and raking his free hand through his hair, asked in a voice of melted honey, “Tara, Princess of the Southern Water Tribe, can I have the honour of the next dance?”_

_She blushed and placed her hand in his, when suddenly a high pitched voice squeaked out, “Tara-?”_

_There stood Aang. He looked confused, he looked furious. She had not noticed him approach them. “What is going on here?”_

_“Nothing!” Both of them said simultaneously. And oh, she realised what this must look like so she pulled her hand away from Zuko’s at the same time that he shifted away. Aang for his part did not look like he believed them at all. If anything, he looked angrier than before, almost as angry as when - and the sudden visual of him going in his Avatar state then and there popped in her mind._

_“Sweetie, there’s nothing going on between us, I just came out for some fresh air. I think I’d like to go on Appa, this place is stifling. So let’s do that?” It didn’t look like he’d heard her because he just stood there, glaring at Zuko, eyes wild as the storm, clothes fluttering in a breeze that only seemed to affect him, “You are going to be married in a week! How could you?!” Zuko refused to take the bait, because he did not respond. This only seemed to infuriate Aang more, “She is MY girlfriend, do you have no honour?”_

_This seemed to be enough to rile Zuko up, evident by the flare of the sconces around them and he grit out, “I have done nothing wrong. You are clearly imagining things. Calm down, Avatar”_

_“I’m the one imagining things?-”_

_Katara grabbed Aang’s hand. “Come on sweetie, let’s go. Let’s talk elsewhere, we don’t want a scene do we?” Still he refused to budge. Placing one hand on his cheek she asked softly, “Please? For me?” This apparently worked as he diverted his attention to her and she managed to pull him away. Once they were mid-air on Appa, he burst out, “What exactly is happening between the two of you?”_

_“Nothing, Aang. We’re just friends.”_

_“Sure you are! Is that what you talk about on you nightly moonlit strolls? Your friendship?” And she startled, mouth falling open._

_“Don’t deny it! I saw you two!”_

_“We’ve just got into the habit of meeting up and talking. That’s all.”_

_“That’s all? You spar together every morning, you don’t even invite the rest of us, He has a nickname just for you AND the two of you meet up at night?” She stayed silent, there was really no reply to this that she’d not given already. She was just glad that he didn’t know about their afternoons._

_After a while, he continued in a monotone, “We’ll be leaving the capital the day after the wedding. We’ll visit the neighbouring villages before that conference in… Katara are you listening to me?”_

_She_ _snapped back,_ _“Yes, I’m listening. Aang, we’ve been over this. You can’t decide for both of us. I want to stay here, for now.”_

_“Of course, you want to stay here with Zuko.”_

_“It’s not that! I just don’t feel like travelling for now. As I explained before.” She said, crossing her arms in front of her._

_“What do you plan on doing once he’s married?”_

_“We’re just good friends, Aang.” She said, suddenly tired. “It has been nice catching up with him. This has nothing to do with his marriage.”_

_“We’re destined for each other, Katara, I’ve always known that. We were friends for a long time before you even tolerated Zuko. I mean, remember how you hated him so much, you wouldn’t even talk to him. I don’t know what changed-”_

_“THERE IS NOTHING GOING ON BETWEEN THE TWO OF US.”_

_This seemed to alarm him. She rarely yelled at him. There was a reason why everyone envied their relationship: they hardly, if ever fought. This was their biggest argument till date and she was not liking it._

_“I mean it, Aang, promise.” She said more calmly. This seemed to relieve him somewhat._

_There was silence for a while and she looked at the moon, praying to Yue for strength. He broke it first when he asked, “So why aren’t you coming?”_

_“I just said that I don’t want to travel again for a while.”_

_“But that’s what being a nomad is.” He said confusedly._

_“I’m not an air nomad, Aang.” Why wasn’t he getting it? “But you will be -” and he clapped his hands to his mouth._

_Oh._

_“I didn’t mean for it to come out this way!” he groaned. “I prepared a whole speech. Okay, rewind.”_

_Was this happening? Right now? Apparently it was._

_“You were the first person I saw when I opened my eyes and I have loved you since then. You have been there for me through everything so far. You’re the most kind and caring person I know. You are perfect.” He said, sincerity etched in his face. “And we are perfect together, we’re both powerful benders, we have each other’s backs, we never fight and you completely understand me, support me and look after me, we’re destined to be together. You’re the only one who can calm me down, heh. I love you, sweetie and I want many more adventures with you.”_

_“Katara, will you marry me and live life by my side?” he asked her, finally holding up a beautiful yellow necklace with a wooden pendant complete with a carving of the symbols of air and water. His grey eyes sparkled, the wind whistled through the air and their clothes fluttered._

_Powerful bender. Aunt Wu’s prediction rang in her mind. Memories of the last four years floated by. Yes, he was right this was her destiny._

_She accepted. The yellow band took the place of the blue._

_They announced it as soon as they met up with everyone else. Aang was ecstatic. He immediately began introducing her to everyone he met as his wife. That night there was much celebration, Zuko opened the doors to his cellar and the wine flowed. She laughed, she danced. Her fiancé never let go of her for too long. She had everything she had ever wanted. It was the happiest night of her life yet..._

_She managed to excuse herself after some time. Not that anyone would miss her, they were all wasted at that point. Without realising it, her feet brought her to the fountain. Everything that had happened in the last few hours rushed at her and suddenly it all felt like too much. The world was closing in around her, the cicadas were getting louder, the air colder and was someone calling her name-_

_“Katara. KATARA”_

_“Huh?”_

_“I said congratulations.” Zuko had found her. Standing in front of her, he was smiling, yet he wasn’t. She’d seen him truly smile and this wasn’t it. The molten gold of his eyes wasn’t shining at her._

_“Are you happy?” He asked when she failed to answer him yet again._

_“Are you?” she asked him in turn._

_“Katara-”_

_“Don’t call me that. Please. Call me the other one.”_

_“Tara.” It looked like he was going to say something, but he stopped himself. Finally he said, “Do you want me to leave? Or is it your ‘me time’?” That brought a smile to her lips._

_“Stay.” And so he did. That was the first night they spent almost completely in silence._

_The Sakura bloomed and the gardens and the Fire Nation as a whole became stunningly beautiful. Zuko always found the time to spar with her and stick to their schedule, but it felt like a curtain had fallen between them. She could still see him, but it was different now. They didn’t talk as freely and most of their meetings were shrouded in silence. She felt strangely hollow. Once or twice she caught him looking at her when he thought she wasn’t paying attention. She always was._

_The wedding day arrived and brought with it more confusion than Katara could handle. On the day an entire country celebrated, her own friend’s wedding in fact, she felt… lost. Sokka was still recovering from the hangover of their Men’s Night the day prior with Suki helping him, so she couldn’t really consult either of them. Perhaps sensing her discomfiture, her handsome fiancé made a point of staying next to her and kissing her. She smiled up at him. That smile never left her face as one by one strangers congratulated her on her engagement. Surprisingly, it was General Iroh who looked a tad upset. At some point in the proceedings, Toph made her way next to her and squeezed her hand._

_The ceremony finally ended and Mai was crowned Fire Lady. The crown suited her._

_As soon as she was done paying her dues, Katara left the premises. She had to pack for the next day after all. On her way back she ran into Zuko who was predictably running away too. “I see that your soul did not in fact get sucked out.” she remarked. He smiled the same smile he’d had on all morning. “Appearances can be deceiving.” Yes, she knew that very well. Still, she had to keep up hers, so in a valiant effort at normalcy, she commented,_ _“Well you look very handsome, she’s a lucky woman.”_

_“Thank you. You look beautiful in red.” It was her turn to smile before remembering what she was supposed to tell him._

_“We’ll be leaving tomorrow morning.” He just bowed his head._

_“I may not be able to see you off.”_

_She could feel something plummet deep inside her, “I suppose this is farewell then. I'll write to you. Goodbye Zuko.”_

_“Goodbye Tara. Visit soon.”_

_She would remember him like this. Standing tall in that corridor, wearing resplendent wedding robes lined by gold thread, top knot spilling out some strands, angular face set and expressionless. But his eyes. He’d never managed to keep the emotion from his eyes. They always gave away the lie and right now, they looked like a bottomless pool in whose depths thrived something nameless._

_It was the last time they’d see each other for years._

_\---------------------------------------------------------------------_

“Mom where’s Izumi?” Kya’s voice pulled her out of her thoughts. “Hm? Oh in her lessons my star.” They were sitting in the veranda of the largely empty guest wing, enjoying the cool evening air as Tenzin practiced his forms nearby.

“All day?!” for Kya, her waterbending lessons happened at night for a few hours, and school in the tribes was only for a couple of hours in the morning. “Well they are sort of particular here about the stuff their kids must know and she is the princess. She has extra lessons. Why don’t you ask her during dinner?”

“Why is that the only time that we see her? Or Uncle Zuko? He seems pretty cool but how’s he always working?” Bumi asked. “I mean Uncle Sokka and Gramps are our leaders but we see them all the time!”

“The Fire Nation is much bigger and more developed than our tribe, my wolf pup. Zuko is a very busy man.” Katara could make his excuses for him, but the truth was that they’d been there for more than a week now and she only saw him during dinners and that too when he didn’t choose to have it next to his paperwork. 

“Bumi let’s ask Izumi tonight. This place is great but I’m getting bored” She complained, drawling out the last bit. “There has to be something more to do!” Well, it was time, Katara had honestly thought she’d be having this discussion sooner. She had been enjoying herself so far, but the restlessness had begun and she wondered how long it would be before she pulled them all on the first ship back home. It wasn’t like she’d expected to stay longer than a couple of weeks. “Tenny come here” Kya commanded. Tenzin leapt and landed gracefully on the table in the middle of all the food. “We need you to pull the snow puppy face for us when we tell you to.”

“Cool! Who are we using it on?” Just at that moment, Katara was called by the Palace Cook to discuss food and cuisine, but she hoped her little monsters had the sense not to embarrass her.

That night at dinner, Bumi brought up the topic. “Say, Uncle Zuko, you’re a busy man aren’t you?” Zuko seemed to have had enough years of fatherhood thrust on him to smell something fishy. “Mhmm” He said, non-committal. “And Izumi too?” Kya asked, innocently and he told them what their mom already had, “Well kiddo, Izumi has school and her lessons.”

“It’s just that, we’ve been here for a week and we never see you or her” Kya pouted. “Yeah, Uncle Zuko, even Tenzin is getting bored, aren’t you, Tenny?” Bumi asked and on cue, Tenzin pulled out his snow puppy face. Bringing up the rear, Kya asked innocently, “Is the Fire Nation this boring? Mom always has such fun stories to tell about you and the country?”

Tenzin asked shyly, “Are you boring, Uncle Zuko?”

“Yeah, Uncle Zuko what do we do all day?” Bumi continued. “I don’t want to tell everyone how dull everything was but…”

Katara had let it get so far out of sheer dismay but found that she absolutely could not deal with this train-wreck of a conversation anymore. Dropping her chopsticks, she hid her face in her hands for a moment in shame. Then removing them she said, “Zuko, I’m so, so sorry. Please excuse these tiny heathens. KIDS-” She said, turning to them “ROOM. NOW. MOVE.” And she made to get up, pulling water from the cups to form extensions to her arms to further emphasize her anger. Her children paled immediately, seeming to realise that they had messed up. But the tension of the moment was undercut with Izumi whispering loudly, “WHOA! SO COOL” and then immediately clapping her hands on her mouth.

In the silence that ensued, Zuko actually chuckled. “Emotional blackmail at the dinner table out of the blue? This reminds me of Uncle. I think I’ll send him a hawk tonight. He loves to dote on kids after all. Katara, please sit down, I’m not offended at all.” And he had the nerve to laugh some more.

“Zuko!” She hissed, “You can’t be serious.”

“What?! I’ve been called “Prince Pouty”, “Jerkbender”, “Sparky”, “Angry Jerk” and many, many other things over the years, most of them by Sokka or my crew, which I can’t repeat right now. What’s one more?” He put his hands behind his head and leaned back, evaluating the children. “You have my attention, what are your demands?” Katara release a loud sigh and put the water back while everyone in the room below 5 feet of height relaxed.

Kya started, “We want to explore the Palace, the Caldera and everything else that we can see while we’re here.”

Bumi continued, “We want to spend more time with you and Izumi.”

Tenzin took up the pace, “I wanna learn firebending!” There was a moment’s silence at this proclamation. Then Kya and Bumi spoke together, chiming in with, “We want to go shopping and wear those pretty dresses” and “I heard you have a dragon? I want to ride it. I mean, we want to ride it.”

“That’s enough.” Katara glared at them and they shut up.

“And what will I get in return”, Zuko asked, still clearly amused. “Our eternal love, gratitude and devotion.” Bumi counted off on three of his fingers.

“Okay, that’s fair.” Zuko said thoughtfully, rubbing his chin, “How about, the three of you join Izumi in school? She goes to the Royal Academy, you might like it there, your dad certainly loved the one he attended, you’ll make more friends and there are field trips every two weeks. You’ll also get to spend more time with her and you’ll get to see firebending and incorporate it in your bending if you want to.” Zuko said pointedly to Tenzin. “Also, it is a complete no on the dragon, don’t even think about it. You can go and shop and look around the Caldera whenever you want, just tell Aki, but honestly, I’d wait for Uncle Iroh if I were you. He knows all the best spots even though he barely lives here anymore. You can come to my office at any time, with anything, but I’d prefer it if you didn’t seek me out between breakfast and lunch because that’s when all my bigger meetings happen. Will that be all?” he asked, eyes twinkling, a slight smile on his face.

All three of them and Katara gaped at him. She managed to gather her wits and said weakly, “Well what do you say, kids?” All three of them gave dazed nods. “That’s settled then.” And she noticed Zuko giving her the most smug look she’d seen. Before she could comment however, Bumi loudly interjected, “Let’s spit on it Uncle Zuko!” and Zuko actively winced. Turning to Katara, he said, “Your brother is disgusting. Tell him I said that.” But he left his chair and completed the whole ritual as asked.

After dinner was done, Katara tried to signal Zuko that she wanted to talk for a while, but he seemed oblivious to all her efforts. This wounded her pride and she gave up. That night was a full moon yet again, so instead of following after him, she took that opportunity to train Kya in the fountain outside their quarters. The girl tired after some time and Katara decided to take a walk by herself through the gardens. With cicadas screeching in the background and the moonlight painting everything in shades of silver and black, she swept through carefully tended lawns, feeling the power thrumming through her. With the moon at her back and her element calling her, she felt limitless, as though she were walking through a kingdom of her own. Somehow, by some subconscious memory, her feet ended up taking her to a derelict fountain at the very edge of the inner gardens.

She recognised this place. It had not been tended for a while, she knew not why, but she’d recognise it anywhere.

_“Are you happy?”_

_“Are you?”_

She cleaned away some vines and sat on the ledge of the fountain drinking in the crisp night air and indulging in some of her fondest memories. One particular face featured prominently and she got so lost in her thoughts that she nearly missed the slight rustle next to her. As it were, her battle hardened reflexes hadn’t completely lost their polish and she was ready with a sphere of water in one hand when the voice in the shadows sighed out, “It’s only me, Katara. Who else.”

“Zuko! What are you- But you said-” and then his words from a week ago registered as she exclaimed, “You lied to me! You did!”

Stepping out of the shadows, once again in black clothes, his bag slung over his shoulder and hair tied up, he said, “I didn’t really lie. I just evaded your real question. You always were after me to improve my poker face after all, you should be proud.”

Her brows drew together even as a sad smile made its way to her face, “I was, wasn’t I. Good for you then, managed to finally fool me.”

Zuko just stared at her quietly. Then nodded and made to leave and she knew that she couldn’t just let him go. “Wait. Stay with me. Let’s talk.” He looked confused, but took a seat by her side anyway. There was silence for a while, then he said, “Reminds me of when we were young.”

“Yes, it does.” Some more silence. “It was impressive what you did today, tricked them all into attending school.”

“Well, it was the best option. I had given this some thought previously, you know. Babysitting Kiyi taught me early on how short children’s attention spans are. Speaking of which, I don’t think there was any point in my life when I was anything less than a complete and absolute bore. I can’t believe you actually called me fun?” he asked in disbelief.

“That’s because you were! And um, probably still are? Anyway, I was never bored around you.” She said firmly. At this he gave her a wan smile, “Don’t you think that’s because we were fighting for quite a lot of the time that we actually spent together?”

“That was such a long time ago. 17 years now. We’ve had some peaceful times too. More than enough to cancel out all the rest of it. You’ve grown old.” She said, pulling at his soft, straight hair “It suits you.”

“Thanks” he said, offering her a shy smile. “You don’t look like you’ve aged a day, Katara.”

“Looks like someone has been taking Uncle Iroh’s tips on wooing older ladies”, she said with a chuckle, which made him sputter and Katara laugh louder. When the last of it faded away, she finally said what had been on her mind a long time “I’ve missed this.” Her words were impossibly loud and heavy, in the otherwise quiet night air.

“Me too.”

“How did we lose contact? It feels like ages since we last exchanged letters.” This statement was met with silence. A heavily pregnant pause and the awkward which had been dispelled for some time returned. Somewhere, a bat-eagle screeched. “How indeed, Katara.” This made her pause. What _did_ he mean by _that_. “It’s late now, let’s talk later? What I said to them also applies to you. You can trouble me anytime you want.” And he got up to go, stretching as he did. He made it two steps away, when she asked, “Just not now?”

“I’m sorry?” he asked, turning around to face her, nose scrunched.

“Nevermind.” She looked away from him, heart growing heavier by the second.

“Katara…” and then he shook his head. Whatever it was that was on the tip of his tongue, disappearing. “Maybe some other time.” And without further ado. He left. In the resounding silence that ensued, she swore she heard a 20 year old boy say to his friend,

“ _I’m here for you, Tara, now and always.”_

She wasn’t sure if the voice made her feel more lonely or less. She just knew that she wanted that boy in her life again, by hook or crook.

School began with the start of next week. Katara had to hand it to Zuko, he’d thought of a solution that would be good for the children and would keep them out of their hair for some time. The idea was very cleverly hyped too, so that they’d look forward to it. Izumi tried to help with this perception of course, by gushing about her studies but this seemed to have the opposite effect.

The first day, all three of them came back in high spirits. Bumi would not stop talking about the number of people he’d met. There was some talk of a dance party which Katara pretended not to hear. Kya and Izumi were in one class and returned as thick as thieves. There was much giggling and whispering which continued throughout dinner. She only raised an eyebrow at Zuko who shrugged back. Tenzin meanwhile, was all praises about a Jiao who taught him pottery in the crafts class. No one at school knew who they really were and everyone was under strict orders to keep all bending under wraps, for security purposes.

The next two weeks passed similarly. Even as the initial excitement dimmed, they didn’t tire of going nearly every day and almost always returned with wild stories. Katara supposed she had Aang to thank for that part, if such things were genetic. Bumi had already been given detention once in that period for disrupting class with fart noises. Even reticent Izumi was included in these adventures and she could tell that Zuko was very pleased. Katara was too, it seemed like the change had done them all a lot of good and she herself took the opportunity to read up in the Palace Library all that her children were learning at school, so that she too could contribute to the conversation at the dinner table. Soon enough though, she realised that sitting in a comfortable chair with a pot of tea before her, learning new things was a decent way to spend time and ventured into their medicine volumes to see how their healing differed from theirs. She spent many afternoons like this, with just her, her thoughts and the books for company. Aki and the rest of the palace staff were nice to talk to as well, but they were always much too deferential and busy with one thing or the other. She’d tried to help and get involved, but this seemed to them an affront to their skills and service, so she’d stopped. And this was how, by the end of one month in the Fire Nation, they all knew several new fables, more of the world’s history and politics than before and much more maths than any of them knew what to do with ( although Bumi and Izumi seemed to enjoy this too).

Izumi sometimes came for their waterbending lessons in the evenings. She was in awe of the fluid movements involved and the way that Katara could miraculously cure any scrape, defying all laws of the Fire Nation’s very modern medicine. One time, when Kya was feeling particularly homesick, Katara turned half the water in the fountain into snow and made it fall atop the girls (in what she considered a particularly masterful display of bending). Kya was overjoyed while Izumi was initially baffled at this strange powdery cold thing that she’d only read about in geography books. It didn’t take her too long to figure out how it worked though, when Tenzin hit her in the side with a well-placed snowball. She retaliated, but missed and hit Bumi and then it was all out war between the boys and girls, with Katara responsible for making sure that the snow didn’t melt away. It was exhausting but a fascinating exercise in focus and very rewarding once she saw their smiles. She also thought she saw a figure in black in the shadows, but he didn’t acknowledge her, so neither did she.

Zuko was always too busy for her, in meetings or with paperwork and she didn’t want to impose on him in his work hours. She frequented the fountain, but never saw him there again. She did not try the pond, only because she felt guilty intruding, when he very clearly did not want her near him. Thus, the only time that she did see him was dinner or rushing by in the corridors, when he waved at her hastily. Katara assumed that Zuko hadn’t managed to fulfil at least one aspect of his promise then, because he was simply never available. That’s not to say he was ever rude, in fact, he was always polite and courteous whenever they spoke but it was the cool façade of a stranger, never the warmth of a friend. One day, she couldn’t find any of the others before their daily dinner although they’d all come back from the Academy. When asked, Aki just told her that they were “In Firelord Zuko’s office.” It turned out that he really was always free for them. They would visit him at all hours, ask him questions and Bumi even claimed that he’d helped with the paperwork. He would teach them whatever they hadn’t understood in school that day or they’d make paper fliers which they’d race across the office. She’d tried telling them to not trouble him, but all parties claimed that it was no trouble. She found that while she was glad her kids had found themselves a new friend, she was missing hers. Which was why she finally decided to take matters in her own hands.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Canon Aang is possessive and has gone into the Avatar state on losing his temper and that is what she's afraid of. Of course, the Best Relationship Ever has no communication, as seen in the show. This is Katara's fault as well, honestly and I hope I'm not coming across as Anti- Aang because I really am not.  
> Zuko has a reason to be kinda upset with her, I'll address that soon and as for what happened to Mai, I have dropped hints through the chapters, but will be talked about explicitly a few chapters later. Thanks for reading!


	6. Burned Bridges and How to Repair Them

_Katara married Aang with much ceremony. The wedding took place in the Southern Air Temple and was attended by a number of dignitaries: from the Fire Lord and Lady to the Earth King to the Chief of the Northern Water Tribe and all the War Heroes. They had managed to research Air Nomad traditions and borrowed some from their sister tribe since the South’s were deemed too simplistic for an affair of such epic proportions._

_Aang looked handsome in his orange robes, tall and proud with the widest smile on his face. Katara wore robes of yellow and blue, adorned by fur trimmings and beads with her hair half down and tied with feathers. They served food from all over the world and had a week of festivities before the actual ceremony with dance and games. There was an endless line of people calling them the most beautiful couple they’d seen, wishing them well, congratulating them and Katara was satisfied. All was going as predicted. She had married a tall, powerful, handsome bender and a near deity- the saviour of the world. She had married an old friend, and they were in love._

_The first few months went great. They journeyed across the world as before and everyone was delighted to meet the newly married Avatar and his wife. The only problem was that they always referred to her as such. She or Aang corrected them a few times, her temper bubbling, but there was no end to it and she realised that, yes that was indeed who she was. Fulfilling a chiefly ornamental position was her role. Might as well own up to it. But that did not mean she liked it. Back in the Tribes, she was at least known as a Master Waterbender (though there too ‘Avatar’s Girl’ had been a major talking point)._

_They visited the towns they’d been to in that one year of frantic running from the enemy and a few more. Even before Appa would land there’d be the locals crowding together, cheering. While she did enjoy the adulation, there was an incomplete feeling to it all. Adventure, sight-seeing and meeting new people was fun but she needed a home, a destination to come back to and constants in her life besides Appa, Momo, Aang and the clouds and skies. She had been wondering how to bring up the topic when she found that she was pregnant. It was a surprise, they hadn’t really planned on it, but she supposed they hadn’t taken any measures against it either. But Katara was excited, she felt that motherhood was something she’d accepted very early on and looked forward to since she was a child. She also had a wonderful feeling that things had worked out in her favour at just the right time, for now they would have to stay at one place that she could call home, a place where she could contribute in her own way. Aang was ecstatic too. He tried communing with his past lives every day and searched and searched for scrolls on raising children. Soon enough, word spread that there would be another air bender within the year and congratulations started pouring in from every corner. Aang understood that constantly being on the move was not a good idea and so they chose to go to the only place that he’d known as home and had stayed for prolonged periods and also the right place to raise an airbender child: the Southern Air Temple, currently undergoing reconstruction. So that was where they went along with all the Air Acolytes._

_The Fire Nation had done its reparations and cleaned it up, spared what funds it could but they all understood that there was only so much Zuko could do, what with his country’s struggling economy and the hate he received from some factions of his society every time he ‘gave away money to filthy foreigners’. It was thus, an ongoing project, running parallel to changing attitudes in his nation, but they all knew that the only way the temples could be restored to their former glory was with the return of the air benders. Living there was slightly difficult, the place was large and empty excluding their group and some parts were in shambles. Still, she knew how important this was for Aang, knew that he had no other real home and let it slide. She was of water after all, she could accommodate when needed._

_However, it grew on her slowly- the feeling that she had no role here either: at least back in the Tribe, she had been teaching and healing, contributing in some small way to the community. And with this feeling, her homesickness grew too. The need to do something to occupy her time and the slowly growing loneliness of having no one to talk to had begun gnawing at her, especially when Aang left on missions for weeks at a stretch. The acolytes were no help at all, they all idolised and (Katara privately thought) fancied her husband. They’d be deferential, but not friendly, respectful but only because of her status as Aang’s wife._

_Her friends’ letters kept her company in the lonely nights when her husband was away. That was how she found out that Sokka had begun training as the next Chief, Suki was thinking of ways to manage her duties on Kyoshi Island while trying to figure out a way to fit in the very backward lifestyle of the Southern Tribe (honestly, after seeing the respect and positions women over the world were given, Katara couldn’t fault her for her hesitation), that Toph was tasked with removing the walls in Ba Sing Se. But she looked forward to one person’s letters the most._

_She would tell him exactly what was on her mind and eagerly await his reply. These were always prompt. She’d then read the correspondence once, hastily, then again slowly and then a third time while penning a response. He would somehow understand her perfectly, even though she herself didn’t at times and even asked her for advice which he seemed to value. The acolytes would frown with disapproval every time the Fire Nation Hawk made its appearance. She didn’t think much of it, but the acoustics of the temple were fantastic and she heard on more than one occasion:_

_“Looks like her boyfriend wrote to her again.”_

_“I’d heard rumours that she had an affair with him last summer.”_

_Allegations like these against her character made her queasy. Random people cheapening her time with Zuko to a sex thing made her nauseous. She tried confronting a few of them but this just seemed to perpetuate the notion that she and he were indeed a thing. They must have told Aang, because he questioned her about it the next time he returned._

_“I don’t understand what the big deal is, we’re just friends. Am I not supposed to be excited by letters when I have no one else to talk to here?”_

_“The acolytes are here, I don’t know why you don’t get along.”_

_‘ ~~You mean your female fanclub? I’d rather not.'~~ Although Katara itched to say this, it was not worth the argument that would inevitably ensue. The girls had willingly taken up this hermit- like lifestyle to propagate his culture, she was being delusional. So she just shook her head, eyes downcast with an “I don’t know.” _

_The whole thing played on her mind though, especially when the whispers seemed to grow with each correspondence. The only solution she could see was to reduce their frequency. Zuko noticed something was amiss and though he repeatedly asked her, she did not give her reasons. Doing that would serve no one._

_Nearing the last month of her pregnancy, she received an alarming letter from Sokka telling her that Gran- Gran was getting really sick and so, instead of calling her here for the delivery, she decided to go back home._

_Home._

_Because no matter the changes it had suffered, it still was the place she was born and raised in, not this ruin where she had lost her foothold and nearly fallen twice since becoming pregnant, scaring the living daylights out of her. That is why, when her husband returned, she put her foot down. There was no way she would continue staying here, friendless and in such hostile territory._

_She gave birth to Bumi, a beautiful baby boy, named after Aang’ longest friend. She had insisted on ‘Kya’ if it was a girl, so Aang called dibs on naming their son. He was a perfect mix of the two of them and her pride and joy. It was a wonderful few weeks, surrounded by the love of her family._

_However, soon enough the happiness faded, as Gran- Gran passed away, having held her great-grandchild. Aang was there for her, along with Sokka and her father. It was a difficult time, dealing with the loss of a mother figure yet again, opening up deep seated trauma that she had never truly healed from. Zuko had offered to come by, but she’d declined. However his letters were always a comfort- he seemed to know just what to say, even more so in writing than he had face to face. She still beamed like a madwoman on spotting the hawk, she still dropped everything to read his letters, although they were less frequent now. And she still got odd looks for her behaviour- this time from her tribespeople as well as the acolytes. Aang in particular detested it, and brought it up a number of times. Katara tried explaining repeatedly, as calmly as she could. Women were not supposed to yell at their husbands in the Tribes and shouting matches always got unwanted attention one way or the other. However, her husband need not have brought it up, because the letters stopped abruptly for some time after that. Which was fine by her, she had her people here, her family and her beautiful baby boy and he had a life there, a nation to run. She wouldn’t miss him._

_He wrote again, much later, but it felt different. The tone was colder. In fact, it was from the acolytes that she heard that the Fire Nation’s Royal Couple were trying. The girl who told her was quite gleeful about it and seemed to become even more so on seeing Katara’s face fall. He needed an heir so this was to be expected, but that didn’t explain why he hadn’t told her himself. It also didn’t explain the sharp pain in her chest. On further reflection, this whole episode confused her and she didn’t reply to the next two letters. The third one told her that they’d lost the child. She felt horrible about herself after that._

_Aang still travelled. It was Avatar duties, couldn’t be avoided, Katara had people to take care of her since she’d opted to stay in the Southern Tribe for the foreseeable future. She immersed herself in teaching, healing and occasionally advising Sokka. Suki married him around the same time that Katara fell pregnant again. The letters between her and Zuko had nearly stopped, by then. He attended the wedding day, but they didn’t speak apart from the perfunctory greeting. She wanted to try and talk to him the next day, but he’d left. Later, she learned from Suki that Mai was expecting too, which was why he hadn’t stayed. It was for the better, she told herself. The confusing fluttering in her heart that surfaced every time someone mentioned him would finally stop. The summer felt like a far off dream. Katara found that she was happy for him, for the two of them, truly. It was high time and even they’d heard the dissent from the Fire Nation about their ruler’s inability to produce an heir._

_When she was six months along, an urgent message came through though, that the Fire Lady was in need of healers. It was an emergency. Luckily Aang was with her at the time and they flew as fast as they could, to the Palace, but it was too late. The Fire Nation had gotten its future ruler at the expense of its empress._

_Zuko was distraught, inconsolable at the loss of one of his oldest friends. He had loved Mai and he clung to his baby, frail as she was, unwilling to let go of her. He blamed himself, wouldn’t talk to anyone and barely ate. Katara and Aang tried their best to get him to feel better, but there wasn’t much more to be done and they had to head back for the delivery of their second child. Ty Lee decided to stay back. She, Kiyi, Ursa and (to their collective surprise) a still recovering Azula stuck around with Zuko. All of Katara’s letters to him went unanswered and the few that were, got very clipped replies._

_In a few months’ time, Katara had Kya, a beautiful and healthy girl who, she was fairly certain, was a water bender. She just knew and it became apparent by the time she reached one year of age. It was also apparent that no amount of waiting around or showing him air currents or frozen water was going to turn Bumi into any sort of a bender. Aang tried to hide it, but he was disappointed. It was apparent in how he was more distant to his children than before and was away on duty longer._

_They tried one more time. This time there was no tragedy midway or immediately after her pregnancy. The way her husband’s face lit up when they realised that their youngest could air bend was a sight to behold. He was attached to the child in a way that he hadn’t been to the other two, and although it didn’t sit right with her, she understood that this was his way of dispelling some of his own deep seated loneliness and pressure of being the last of his kind._

_And for a while, all was as it should be._

_\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_

The next afternoon, Katara walked up to Zuko’s office. She reasoned that he _had_ offered her an open invitation after all, he had no reason to mind. The guards let her in no questions asked, staring straight ahead. On entering, she realised that this too was a large complex with lounge rooms and meeting halls large and small. Finding the way to his personal office - which was an inconspicuous door with only the embossed twin dragons on the handle serving as a give-away - took a bit of time. She knocked and a raspy but deep voice called out, “Come in.”

Inside, she found a harried looking Fire Lord hidden behind stacks of documents, the top of his crown barely visible and his daughter, doing her homework next to him, sitting cross legged. He stood up to greet her, ink on his face and smooth black hair unbound. On noticing who it was, his forehead creased, “Ah, Katara, good afternoon, what can I help you with?”

“I just wanted to talk to you, privately if possible?” She asked, a nervous smile on her face. Zuko looked over at Izumi who nodded, gathered her things and left with an “I’ll be coming to see the waterbending practice tonight, Auntie Katara, wait up for me!” Katara grinned back “Of course.” The lessons would simply not be the same without her and Kya loved having an audience to perform for.

“You know, she never comes to see me firebending? Says it’s just too early for her to function.” He said, looking at Izumi’s retreating back fondly. The door swung shut and he gesturing at the vacant seat in front of him, sitting only when Katara had taken it.

“Well she’s right. You wake up at an ungodly hour.” He just huffed and then looked at her expectantly and Katara realised that there was no skirting the issue.

“You’ve been ignoring me.” She said, point blank, looking at him, arms folded in front of her. Direct confrontation had always been her favoured style, though for reasons unknown, she hadn’t chosen it when dealing with... Never mind. He avoided her gaze. “No, I haven’t.”

“No?” She arched an eyebrow. “Then how come I never see you?”

“You see me at dinner, and at other times, I have stuff to do – meetings, some crises or the other, proposals to look at, which reminds me…” he trailed of rubbing the back of his neck and messing up his hair even more as he looked around helplessly. She persisted.

“Tell me how I can help. Give me something to do. If you don’t have time to spare, you’ll find that I have lots of it. I can work with you.”

He pinched the bridge of his nose, still firmly avoiding her gaze. “It’s nothing that you can help with Katara. All business that comes to my table is mine and mine alone.” Which was funny because he was trying to sound serious, but in the state he was in, it didn’t really work. But still, a change of tactics was required. “All business that comes to this table is mine and and mine alone”, she repeated, deepening her voice to imitate him and he finally looked up at her, eyes narrowed.

“Ha ha, real mature Katara that has to be the _wors_ t impression of me that I’ve heard.” He replied imperiously, but she could see a smile in his eyes and she answered with, “Thank You, my Lord” as loftily as she could. There was a slight pause and shaking her head, she tried one more time, softly, sincerely.

“Zuko, I’m tired of this. I don’t know what happened in the middle, what went wrong. The letters slowed down, and then stopped and then we weren’t talking at gatherings and it must have been my fault as well, and I’m sorry, but let me be your friend again, let me help you, please” she beseeched. She hoped that one day they’d have a conversation regarding this, it was long overdue, but for now it was baby steps. He looked a little lost, contemplating her words, and sensing weakness she finally went for the kill, pulling a snowpuppy face of her own, that she knew for a fact had worked on her old friend. Sure enough, he took one look at her and snapped, “Stop that!” face scrunched up in disgruntlement like a baby rabbaroo.

“Then let me do the paperwork with you” she countered, sitting up straight. “Bumi said he did it and if that’s true, then so can I.”

“He’s exaggerating!” But he knew when he was beat and sighing loudly, he rolled his eyes and pushed one stack towards her, “Help yourself… And don’t look so smug!” She hid her smile behind her hand then, pulling the first document she could reach.

He was right, all of them _were_ addressed to him, but some were so ridiculous, that she rejected them without a second glance while the rest she passed on. She was fairly certain that Zuko wanted nothing to do with building spikes on footpaths so the homeless were driven to the forests or with legalising Komodo Rhino fights to the death. After a bit, she suggested that she go through all of them first –she’d eliminate the terrible ones so that Zuko’s energy and time were saved for the worthier causes.

Quite a few of them baffled her, like the pensions to war veterans and what the big deal with opium farming was. But Zuko kept them in the important section, with brief explanations as to why, so she resolved to read up on those topics and discuss later. Some of the Fire Nation’s issues were so far removed from anything she’d seen in the Tribes. But it felt good to be of help, of a sort, after more than two months of sitting on her ass. Even though it was clearly not the most thrilling job in the world, she felt fulfilled. Going through yet another ridiculous proposal, this one fourteen pages long, citing the minister’s reasons and arguments she pondered out loud, “Hmm, Zuko what do you say about making blood orange the new official colour of the Fire Nation?”

“That has to be Minister Han. Pretentious little shit. Bin” and he pointed in the general direction of the dustbin, not even bothering to look up. “I don’t know, Zuko” Katara said thoughtfully, still going through it, “Some of these arguments make sense. Red is for the masses and you would indeed look _ravishing_ in blood orange robes-” At this, he looked up with an expression of utter disgust, pulled the proposal away from her, ignoring her outraged “Hey!” tore it up into pieces which he then set on fire. Her alarm morphed into quiet amusement. “You should consider an alternative career in drama” she commented drily, picking up the next one. He didn’t reply, but she saw his grin as he too returned to work.

From time to time, she’d look up at him to compare how much they’d done. The ink on his face was irritating her, he himself didn’t notice it and she desperately wanted to wipe it off, but didn’t dare. She already felt like he didn’t want her here, not really and this would be a direct invasion of his boundaries. So Katara pulled her attention away from him, scratching her nose with the tip of her brush and turned it back to the matter at hand. She missed the look he shot her immediately afterwards.

“The Northern Water Tribe sure is a bunch of assholes”, he said out of the blue after some time. “No offence.” Noticing that he was going through Ambassador Panuk’s proposal, she said, “He’s asking for more fishing territory isn’t he, as war reparations? I thought you were done with those, at least for the Northern Tribe?”

“We are!” he yelled, outraged. Throwing the document on the table, he massaged his head as though soothing away an incoming headache. “This is just him, trying to emotionally blackmail me. Did you read the wording, making me out to be some sort of… Ozai.” He sighed, and put it in the ‘maybe’ pile. “Can’t come off as a genocidal maniac.” He muttered. She sympathised with him. She knew all too well how manipulative Northerners could be. Sokka had had enough complaints of his own. “I’ve had a few dealings with them, I could try to help you out, let me think a little” she offered. “Thanks Katara, I’d love to hear it” he smiled back.

More than two hours later, they were finally done and she stretched, getting up to go. She was quite pleased, the mission had been a success. They’d actually spoken to each other, and worked alongside. He’d chuckled at her jokes (although no one else did) and appreciated her meticulous system of dividing work and filing papers (although he already had his own). Even when they were younger, he’d be the only one laughing at her jokes and she at his. The others had always seemed exasperated but it had made her feel valued, like he enjoyed her company. When she worked alongside Sokka, he’d get worn out by her ‘constant and obsessive nagging’. Time spent with Zuko felt like a welcome change. She didn’t enjoy the paperwork, but she did enjoy working next to her old friend. And since she was here for a limited period, she thought it best to find a new pastime and this would do for now. She also felt like maybe he wasn’t lost to her after all, that all those years of silence were turning to dust in front of her eyes. Getting up to go she said, “This was fun, let’s do it again.”

This statement was met with silence. The resounding type where one can hear a pin drop. After a while, it settled into something awkward and heavy. Her breath sounded loud to her own ears. She turned back to him, expectantly.

“Uhh… let’s not.” Zuko replied, after a while, rubbing the back of his head and looking away from her. This puzzled her, she thought their afternoon had been fun. Hadn’t it? Had she been mistaken? Was their friendship that irreparably broken? The lightness surrounding her evaporated along with her smile and she asked him quietly, “Why?”

He didn’t reply, finding something interesting on his desk to stare at. _Of course_ , she realised. He’d only been humouring her, there had never been any real connection. She could almost laugh, why would he enjoy her intruding in his life? Katara could feel her heart breaking. Again. Tears had begun forming in the corners of her eyes as she resolutely turned her back and walked towards the door, her shoes loud on the stone floor. No matter what he thought, she could take a hint. She was not wanted, not here, nor anywhere else. It was foolish of her to think otherwise.

_You’re my forever girl._

Her head was beginning to hurt. Water bending was not happening that evening. Dragging herself to dinner would be a feat. She could only hope that he wouldn’t turn up, though what reason he’d give, she didn’t know, since they’d completed all his work. Katara was nearly out the door when she finally heard his voice, so quiet that she half-thought she was imagining it.

“Because I could get used to you.”

That night sleep eluded her. His words played in her head on repeat. Katara had no idea what to make of them. One moment he was friendly, another he was aloof, next he was cryptic. But one thing she was quite sure about: that there was no point in staying here. She’d announce it the next day. Hadn’t he made it amply clear that he wanted nothing to do with her? He didn’t want to build the bond that they had back up again, wasn’t that what he meant? It had to be, and if so, no amount of laughter drenched memories could keep her here anymore. Because that’s what they were, memories. She had burned her fair share of bridges and it was not his fault that he did not want to build them back. It was fine, she’d understand, but she couldn't force someone to like her, she wouldn't beg. Even after all the blows her pride had taken, she still had some left.

But still, somehow she couldn’t believe that he was so… so indifferent to her. She didn’t know why. She spent hours tossing and turning. Considering all the possibilities, for her future and that of her children. Perhaps she would visit Toph. She had two daughters too, they’d all get along just fine. She didn’t understand her reluctance to leave this place. Finally, frustrated, she wrapped a robe around her night gown and walked out of her room, with every intention of nicking a bottle of wine from the kitchens. The insomnia had to be dealt with one way or the other. Her mission was derailed when mysteriously, once she was halfway there, a light breeze fluttered her night robes in the otherwise still night. She looked around to see a trail of moonlight leading out of the Palace proper and into the Gardens.

_Yue, is that you?_

She had travelled with Aang enough to not discount spirit interference. This could very well mean nothing, but it could also be a message. And so, she strolled out, waving away the concerned guards. Moonbeams guided her through the still night to a track covered in hedges and shrubbery, a place she hadn’t noticed before. It was poorly tended and brambles caught on her clothes. Wildflowers grew everywhere and there were patches where overhanging branches nearly blocked the moonlight. It felt like she was going farther away from her rooms. Gradually though, the path widened and opened out to a place she recognised. It seemed she’d taken a shorter cut to the abandoned fountain at the edge of the grounds. Except at that moment it wasn’t abandoned. A figure in black was hunched over it, holding the ledge for support and slowly moving along, as though in great pain. The figure turned, to show a nasty gash on their abdomen and a scarred face. She gasped.

_Zuko!_

She ran to him, uncaring if her clothes caught in the nettles or got muddied anymore. She was frightened, truly, her mind running through a constant stream of possibilities as every moment that brought her closer to him painted a more grotesque picture of his injuries. A cacophony of alarmed sounds and half voiced fears had begun playing in her head and all she could think of in that moment was: no, no, no, please no. This couldn’t be happening. He couldn’t die. Yue wouldn’t have brought her here just to watch him die, would she. Katara had nearly seen that once. Lightning flashed through her mind and her speed increased. There was no way that was happening again. She would make sure of it.

She could pinpoint the moment he noticed her because he startled and looked like he was about to take a bending pose when he noticed who it was barrelling towards him. “Katara…?” He managed to croak out just as she reached him and took hold of his shoulders. Pushing him towards the ledge so he sat down, she ordered him to remove his loosen his upper garments and examined the damage. There were two lacerations running across his torso, both of which were bleeding profusely; she could smell the metallic tang. He looked really pale, face scrunched up in pain. The breath caught in her throat and she took a minute to steel herself. She had to focus, she had to believe that she could heal him, he was counting on her. She grasped his hands firmly, squeezed them and once she’d collected herself, her instincts took over. Immediately, she pulled the water out of the fountain and began going over his injuries. He yelped at the unexpected chill.

“Shh… Oh Zuko what have you done?” she asked, almost to herself.

“Well if you notice the angle of the wounds, they were clearly not self-inflicted”, he forced out through gritted teeth, trying for a smile but only managing a grimace.

“I should have known you were doing something ridiculously dangerous out there” she muttered, ignoring him completely.

“It’s not-”

“You really are an idiot with a death wish.”

“Hey!”

“Oh, hush.” The next half an hour she focused, and continued talking to herself- to ease some of her stress and to reassure him, but mostly to reassure herself, because he kept nodding off as she worked, though she wouldn’t let him truly fall asleep. The wounds were not as deep as she’d feared and she thought she’d was doing a reasonably good job. His vitals seemed steady and once she was satisfied, she woke him up. “Come on, we need to get you to your room.”

He just looked at her dazedly, “Hm? Oh okay” and made to stand up and nearly fell on her.

“It’s okay, I’ve got you. I’ve got you, big guy.” She supported him on one side, one of his arms around her shoulder, one of hers holding on to his waist and his pack on her back. He leaned on her heavily as they trudged through silent hallways while avoiding the guards. Zuko was still aware of his surroundings enough to be stealthy and they snuck through the door behind the Ugly Fire Sage to enter his quarters. He stumbled to his bed and sat down on, lighting the lantern next to it. “Where do you keep your bandages? You must have them around here somewhere” she asked and he pointed at his bedside drawer. She pulled them out along with a pot of salve. “This feels vaguely familiar” Zuko mumbled as she began applying the mix on his wounds. Katara just glared at him. Trying to make light of the situation, he smirked and said, “Thank You Katara.” This did not get the reaction he’d expected, because she increased the intensity of her glare and he got an adorable (not that she would ever say it out loud) confused-sleepy expression on his face.

“You nearly died. Again. And you’re making jokes about it. Really, Zuko.” He had the good sense to look sheepish. “Raise your arms” she ordered. And with more force than was strictly necessary, started wrapping him in the bandages. "Ow! Okay, sorry! I’m sorry. Won’t make jokes again.” He gasped out and she slowed down. “Will you at least tell me where it is that you go? What you do?”

He hung his head and she sighed loudly, returning to her work, but this time in silence. She was slightly disappointed, but not surprised. She tried not to think about it, the dangers he might be facing every time he left and focus only on her work. Soon, the only sounds in the room were the occasional eagle-owl and their own breathing. His breath brushed her neck as she bent over him, and suddenly she was acutely aware of the situation they were in. He was sitting less than a handspan away, alone in his apartments, in the near dark with her fingers on his bare skin. He always ran warm and this time was no different. His skin was calloused with scars new and old, but beneath that was firm muscle. She slowed down slightly, taking him in and running a finger across a particularly nasty looking scar. She wondered where it had come from, how long ago. It was rough to touch and she found that she couldn’t move away.

Her eyes flicked to him, only to see him already looking at her. She held his gaze for half a beat, the proximity to his gold eyes hypnotizing. There was something heated in his gaze, something different. It drew her in and made her think of another time, long ago when he’d asked her for a dance on a balcony. He held still, as she lifted her hands off him. Then she cleared her throat and both of them looked away quickly. But Katara could feel warmth on her neck and cheeks. She leaned down one final time to tie up the last bits and where his skin touched hers, it tingled. Suddenly, she felt very shy.

It was his turn to break the silence as he mumbled “I have no idea how I’m going to stay up through tomorrow’s meeting.” This immediately alerted Katara. “What meeting? You’re going nowhere. If you think I’m going to let you out of here until you’re completely healed, you have another thing coming” she said, voice rising in pitch.

“Kataraa…” he beseeched, “It’s important. Agricultural subsidies…ugh kill me now” he facepalmed as he lowered himself on his bed.

“They can wait. Everything else can wait. It’s bedrest till you fully recover” She replied firmly, hands on her hips, staring him down. He surprised her by suddenly smirking at her, propped up on one elbow. “Jokes on you, remind me who among the two of us rises with the sun?”

That did it. She sat herself on the bed, swinging her legs over and leaning on the head board. “Try to leave and face my wrath.” There was no way she was letting him out of her sights till he was fully healed. There would be no more near-deaths or ugly scars if she had anything to say about it. Katara snuck a look at him through the corner of her eye to see that he was staring at her wide-eyed. She looked away.

“Are you going to just sit here the whole night?” He asked in wonder. “Yes.” She replied, staring straight at the opposite wall. “Do you realise how improper this is?” He asked her again and she just raised an eyebrow at him, “Don’t worry, I won’t take advantage of you.” This made him snort, but he caught her by surprise with his next words, “Sleep next to me, if you insist on staying here, sitting will just give you a bad back tomorrow.”

“Don’t you worry about me.”

“Katara, I insist. There’s enough space on the bed.” He said, rolling to the far side. This she had to agree with. The bed _was_ bigger than the entirety of her sleeping quarters back home.

“Fine.”

Removing her outer robe, she pulled up the blankets to tuck them both in. “I will see you tomorrow, in here, resting. Or so help me, Yue.” She heard muffled laughter from his end as he put the lights out. And then the only light was through the window. She burrowed herself in the sheets, feeling her exhaustion start to pull her under almost instantly. The last thing she remembered was a voice saying softly,

“Good night Tara.”

She slept more soundly than she had in a long time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for all your lovely comments! I cannot express how much I appreciate them. Writing romance is hard and maybe I'll never be able to spin words into poetry, but thank you for reading the stuff I put up. Also, if anyone is up for beta-ing this work, let me know! You can reach me on my Tumblr @that-turtleduck  
> PS: today I learned the difference between burnt and burned.


	7. A New Project

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Katara wakes up to a unique problem, makes a new friend and takes on a New Project.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really sorry this is late. I'd initially planned on updating every two weeks (I have made a rough outline of this story) but then my work life intervened. I have to thank my amazing amazing beta @myrsinemezzo for going over my work so diligently. Really, a lifesaver. And thank you all for your comments and kudos, I did not expect this story to become as popular as it has and I hope I won't disappoint with this update. Writing the flashback was a bit painful, I must admit. It'll last only till chapter 9/10. If you feel like you'd rather skip it, go ahead. It gives the present story more depth, but won't alter it otherwise. Once again, tw:divorce.  
> Also, I'll just remind everyone that I haven't read the comics cover to cover, because honestly, no one should be subjected to that.

_As the years passed, Katara of the Southern Water Tribe settled into her life. Peacetime was very different to everything that she’d experienced before they’d all gone and changed the world. She had all she’d wanted as a child. A lovely family, married to a good man, a way to contribute to the world via her waterbending and a respectable position in the tribe. Every morning she’d wake up early, do the housework and set out for the healing huts. Here she’d work till the evenings after which she’d teach her batch of pupils, mostly girls who would not have been recognised under male teachers. As the Southern Tribe’s numbers increased, so did her patients and students. She’d also take part in all festivities, and was one of the key organizers each time, because as she pointed out, it wasn’t her fault that no one else knew how to do these things right._

_Katara of the Southern Water Tribe was generally regarded as a celebrity - the Avatar’s Wife. In that, her primary duties were to take care of the Avatar’s children and tend to her husband when he returned to stay with them. This was a fact of life, of which she was reminded daily in a million different ways by a million different people. The Avatar himself visited only in the summers, never in the winters. It was far too strenuous to bend himself warm every time and he refused to wear animal pelts or eat their meat-based diet on principle. Katara understood of course. It was only that sometimes, the loneliness got to her. All that time in those harsh cold months when she’d notice couples keeping each other warm, families complete and revelling in their little bubble of a home, she was reminded of that missing part of her own family, currently in some other corner of the world._

_But she was a patient woman. She waited for him and he returned with the spring. People praised their love and commended her, but most times she just felt a tiny bit empty inside. The time that he did spend with them however, was some of the best parts of the year. The people loved him and there was always joyous merrymaking when he came- nearly a week or so of festivities in his honour. Team Avatar would have a mini reunion which was made even better every time Toph joined. They’d bring news of the developments around the world, especially the new city they were planning on (they were still undecided about the name). It was the beginning of a new era and everyone was excited._

_Katara of the Southern Water Tribe also rarely left the Southern Water Tribe. She had nearly stopped going with Aang on adventures, because she’d found that there was clearly no need. He was more than enough to handle most problems and it was he who the people really wanted. The few times she went, she realised that her role was the same as before- mainly ornamental along with the added bonus of supporting and looking after him, a job which one or two of the acolytes could do easily and much more enthusiastically. A person of Katara’s skill was not required; she could do more good staying where she was at the Southern Water Tribe where she had children to raise and was actually required._

_That’s why, every time he asked her, she’d state that she was just too busy and that she couldn’t predict when medical emergencies might arise and thus, couldn’t leave for long periods. This argument worked just fine for the first few summers, but later he became antsy. His face would fall and he’d sulk every time she declined. One fine day, when they’d already had a quarrel beforehand, he suggested they take a week-long trip to the Eastern Air Temple._

_“You know that the journey itself will take a week, I can’t leave for that long” she sighed into her sewing, and he finally burst, the way he had done only one other time, in the desert so many years ago._

_“Why won’t you even consider it? You aren’t even looking for a solution! No Katara, the problem isn’t that you're busy, it’s that you don’t care about me enough. For spirits’ sake, we’re married, can’t we spend some real time together? Am I not a priority too?” She could have brought up that it was he who never stayed in winters or kept leaving in the summers but she didn’t. Instead she looked away, trying not to let the anger and frustration rise. Seemingly getting more worked up with her silence, he went on, now all-out yelling at her. “You don’t want to go to the Southern Air Temple because you hate the acolytes, you don’t want to go to the Southern Earth Kingdom because we’ve been there too often, you don’t want to go anywhere else because it’s too far away and you don’t want to visit our friends because you’re busy and they might be busy and it’s rude to interrupt. Did I get all that right?” She had nothing to stay to that as well but wondered if everyone would know about their quarrel already before her first healing session tomorrow._

_“Let’s take a vacation as a family, Katara, you used to enjoy that. You used to love travelling and seeing new things, you wanted to meet new people, what’s different now?” Here she tried to speak but he just huffed in frustration, “And DO NOT say you’re absolutely needed here again. I’ve seen your healing huts, they could easily work without you there. And someone else could teach in your absence. You’ve trained enough masters.” And then finally, he beseeched her, “Come on Katara, if not as a family, let’s go somewhere, just the two of us. As husband and wife.”_

_But Katara had stopped listening some time ago. Her head throbbed and everything had started looking blurry and it felt like the room was converging on her. Aang was still saying something, but she turned around and walked out of the house._

_It was Sokka who found her, hours later in the ice cave that used to be their secret hideout. He casually sat himself next to her, stretched out and started talking. Most of the first part didn’t really filter through to her brain, but she managed to focus a little later “…They’ve decided on Republic City as a name. Still think they should have gone with Boomerang Town. So much cooler. I actually suggested it but was vetoed out. Zuko voted against me, our friend Zuko! It was such a betrayal. My heart broke. In two. So we had to duel to level the playing field. I won of course. He is heavily invested in this project, you can make it out in his letters. He can’t shut up about it.” And there was a very pointed silence._

_“I wouldn’t know, we haven’t really communicated in a while.” She said silently. She missed him, especially in times like these. So much. He’d know exactly what to say while also bumbling and messing up some quote from his uncle which would then make her laugh. She missed him._

_Sokka paused as he studied her. Then: “Anyway, as I was saying, this place is going to be really cool. A melting pot of all cultures and people, benders and non-benders! Come to the next conference with me, you’ll love it. And we’re building the place, so statues for all of us!! Or whoever is in Toph’s good books anyway. Speaking of, she’s also playing an active role in this, routing everyone trying to derail this project in some way, like some sort of police. She still won’t tell me who the fathers are…” He kept going for quite a while. Talking about everything and nothing. Somehow, Zuko’s name did not come up again. Finally, nearly an age later, he shut up after she put her arms around him. He hugged her back, tightly, not making a single comment even as she started sniffling in his furs. When she finally withdrew, he only said, “Throat’s parched, bend me some water will you?”_

_Once that was done, Sokka bravely dived in, “Why don’t you just go with him?”_

_“I’m busy wi-”_

_“No, Katara, the real reason. You and I both know that you’ve trained enough benders here for them to carry out your duties for a while at least.” She opened her mouth to reply, then shut it. Sokka waited patiently next to her. “You don’t know that, what if there was some emergency that only I could handle, you need my help too sometimes, so does dad-”_

_“We’ll manage somehow, you deserve a vacation.”_

_“-and I can’t just leave the children and roam around the world, I have responsibilities-”_

_“Suki and I will look after them-”_

_“I’m more than just his wife, Sokka!”_

_At this he shut up, though he still looked confused. “Even though everyone else is intent on forgetting that” she continued, although speaking was getting more difficult by the minute as she struggled to voice all that she’d felt over the years._

_“I have a role here and I’d like to think I’m not all that replaceable in it.” She said finally, her shoulders slumping. Her brother held her, his expression turning unexpectedly serious._   
_Sokka apparently took her words to heart, and his solution was to involve her more in his council. When before he’d only requested her presence for anything to do with waterbending or healing, now he’d bully her into attending and involve her even in those matters that she felt she didn’t have enough expertise in. Katara didn’t have any formal role in these proceedings since all those were already taken and they couldn’t just give her one or make a new one without accusations of nepotism, especially since Sokka himself wanted to institute a system where the people chose their leaders in the future._

_This strategy worked in that now, she knew more about international politics, the squabbles between the sister tribes, the plans and execution of Republic City and Air Temple Island near it (the other Air Temples had been cleaned up, but would be nothing more than relics till there were enough air benders to occupy and maintain them). Her status grew in both the Tribes due to her changing role and ever increasing duties (courtesy of Sokka) and when in a year, she started proposing plans and policies and trade agreements, it was with a changed outlook and a sense of freedom. There were more and more who looked at her as a councilwoman and problem-solver. She always had the people’s best interests at heart in everything she did and the people were beginning to realise that. It also helped that she truly enjoyed the work that she did._

_However, the problem lay in that, no matter how much she did for them, the fact was that almost all the seats in the council were taken by men with only Suki acting as an Earth Kingdom ambassador. Most were of the opinion that as Avatar’s wife and Healer in Chief, she was shirking her duty by attending these meetings. Some were upset that her words held as much weight as theirs and the fact that she- a woman- often had more knowledge than them. Subtle taunts were made, her talents undermined and allegations thrown that the only reason she had her seat was because she was related to two powerful men. Suki was exempt from much of this because she was essentially a foreigner and it was obvious that she’d be progressive and different than their tribal women who were made primarily for housework. The result being that she had to struggle that much more to be taken seriously and had to learn to make her proposals watertight. She had to plead, reason, argue and on more than one occasion threaten misogynists. Truth be told, she loved doing it and was passionate about bringing a positive change. Attitudes began changing, slowly but surely, though often the effort involved in this endeavour left her completely drained._

_Still, no matter how she improved the drainage system or built shelters and ice parks, the fact remained that she was first and foremost the Avatar’s Wife and that was how her people saw her. It simply was an inescapable fact of life._

Katara woke up to sunlight on her face. She blinked dazedly, why was it so bright? Had she forgotten to close the curtains before sleeping? Ugh. Trying to block out the light, she pulled the red sheets over her head, but it was much too bright. There was nothing to it, she'd have to close them. A pity too, she couldn't remember the last time she'd slept so well. With a sigh she moved to sit upright. Or she would have, had it not been for the band on her waist holding her down. She was confused for a minute, and then her head cleared a little.

Wait. The room was too red, the bedding too firm, it couldn't possibly be hers, where was she?? Her shoulders tensed, preparing for a fight or flight response and she racked her brain for answers as the events of last night rushed back to her: the walk, finding Zuko, patching him up, going back to his room, staying there. She relaxed, but then, it struck her: the sunlight. It was too harsh, what time was it? The sun was higher in the sky than it usually was when she awoke and definitely higher than whatever time Zuko was used to. Had he gotten the better of her after all? Slipped out while she snored away like an otter-penguin? She groaned. Well she'd just have to chase him down and make him pay. He was her patient now, and honestly should've known better than to cross her. Katara tried to get up once again and the thing holding her down shifted, tightened its hold and breathed out on her hair. She felt more than heard a rumbling from below her.

 _Oh_.

As she craned her neck up, she finally fully came to her senses and realised her position. The band pressing on her waist? That was a pale arm. Her legs were tangled with his and one of her own arms was on his chest, which she'd confused with bedding earlier. Speaking of which, his torso was bare save for the bandages and she could feel muscle underneath. Apparently, she had rolled sometime in the night and was now sleeping almost atop him while he held her, chin on her head. She could feel every breath he took, and when she looked up, all she could smell was him: slightly smoky with a hint of the sandalwood she remembered. In sleep, he looked more at peace than she'd ever seen him and much younger. He looked more than anything like the boy she’d left behind. When she tried to get up again, he brought up his other arm to hold her to him. Warmth enveloped her, and Katara inhaled deeply, closing her eyes. Almost of their own volition her fingers traced scars earned long ago, revelling in the feel of the skin underneath. For a minute her train of thought took her to an imaginary land where Zuko held her every night in the harsh winters of the poles and she snuggled closer. He sighed out loud, nuzzling her head and she felt irrationally happy. This was lovely, she thought, this was cosy, this felt right. She could almost believe she felt at peace too. As if she could stay like this forever.

_You are my forever girl._

This was wrong. She should move. If someone saw them, they'd get a completely wrong idea and if Zuko woke up like this, he'd be disgusted and she’d be embarrassed and things would get even more awkward and she shouldn't be thinking the stuff that she had been thinking and she had to move. She tried to worm out of his hold and he just tightened it, frowning a bit. Next, she tried to loosen his arms, but that didn't work either, he just wouldn't let go, only making a whiny sound in response. Frustrated, she felt like making one herself, or better yet, snuggling and going right back to sleep. But it was getting late, the children would be up and there would be people asking for both of them. She struggled a bit more, and finally, he woke up, arms relaxing.

Groggily, he asked her, "Katara.. what..." Then looking around, he came to terms with the situation much faster than she had, pulling his arms away and putting about three feet of distance between them faster than she could begin explaining.

Without his warmth, she felt bereft almost instantly. A little empty, a little exposed and cold. A breeze flew in through the window and she pulled up the sheets to her chin, hugging them to herself. Come back half of her wanted to cry out. The other more sensible half told her she was being ridiculous. Zuko for his part, was lying facing the ceiling, with his hands covering his face. She could clearly see the dark red blush on his cheeks all the way to his chest and was pretty certain that she had a similar colour tinting hers. "Look, I'm so, so sorry." He began, voice still rusty from sleep, "I'm such an idiot and I honestly don't even know what to say to you, I did not intend to paw at you like some pervert and, ugh, you have every right to be angry... " Katara privately thought he was being hilarious since angry was the very last thing she'd felt but there was no stopping the barrage of ill formed sentences that an embarrassed Zuko would let out. She smiled a bit. Some things just don't change. After a minute or so of this, she cut in, "Zuko, please stop beating yourself up. You haven't done anything dishonourable and I'm not upset. It was a mistake, my fault more than yours, clearly... I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable." She said the last part slowly and softly, for of course he'd despise her even more now, for literally throwing herself at him. As though he wasn't irritated with her for invading his personal space as it were. Hearing this, he removed his hands and turned to look at her with wide eyes and a puzzled expression, forehead scrunched as though he were solving a complicated math problem.

"I wasn't uncomfortable," he said, really quickly. And this time Katara widened her eyes as the daydream from earlier made its way to the forefront of her brain. She blushed some more, averting her gaze, when he followed up quickly with, "That's not to say we should do that again, of course not. Neither of us would want that. Obviously. I just meant that I wasn't _un_ comfortable."

Katara plastered on a smile, irrationally disappointed, "Obviously. This was a mistake, it won't happen again"

"Exactly. Just so we understand each other," he said in a monotone, face turned away from her.

And then there was silence, for a while, before he nearly shrieked out, "What's the time??!! The sun's high up, I'm late!!" And flung away the sheets to get out of bed, wincing as he did so. Katara scooted across and closed the distance to latch on to his arm, "Oh no you don't! Not on my watch!"

"Katara I have a meeting!! It's important! I'll have to skip tea as it is, let go!!" She only tightened her hold, now gripping his knee as well.

"No. You are badly hurt and so you are staying RIGHT HERE IN BED where you will heal and I can keep an eye on you."

He struggled some more, trying to loosen her grip, but it was futile. It was also clear that every movement was causing him pain. She wound her arm through his keeping him down just as there were knocks from the door and a woman's voice called out, "My Lord, are you alright? May I come in?"

Katara and Zuko shared one alarmed glance, then he quickly called out, "Oh no, Reika, please don't. I'm uhh... I’m indecent. Just woke up...can’t find my clothes… nothing you'd like to see," Katara snorted at this, and he spared her an annoyed glance as he said, "Please keep the breakfast outside, thank you very much."

There was a pause, and then a highly suspicious, "If you say so, Firelord Zuko.”

Once they felt the coast was clear, she said to him, careful to keep her voice low, "You are not leaving this room. Or I will drag you back here from whatever meeting of subsidies you feel is more important than your health, that too in front of all your ministers and freeze the exits shut."

He must've seen something in her expression that reminded him of the time she'd nursed him back after the Agni Kai and relented. She made him promise to call the Palace Doctor and snuck out herself back to her rooms to get ready for the day. Here she was greeted with a chorus of questions but managed to convince her overprotective kids that she'd just been out for a long walk. Then, she doubled back to Zuko's chambers to officially 'find him unwell' after ‘a training session gone wrong’.

She began her second round of healing and started giving friendly suggestions to the palace staff on how to care for him. The older ones who recognised her didn't bother putting up resistance while the younger ones looked confused and slightly insulted that a guest was telling them how to do their job. But they all listened to her nevertheless as she sat at their ruler’s side and bullied him into cancelling all his meetings while he only looked on in fond exasperation. There was much activity as warmed water and clean bandages were brought in. It was to this setting that a short, well-groomed man in his forties walked in.

His brown eyes surveyed the scene and noticing his presence, the servants bowed and filed out quickly. His gaze then turned to Katara, fully expecting her to leave as well, but she raised her chin and glared back, still holding a wet cloth and sitting right next to Zuko. He walked up to them, looking mildly confused and bowed low, "My Lord."

"Good Morning, Doctor Nakamura, thank you for coming so promptly. I seem to have gotten in a bit of a scrape and I was so fortunate to have a friend to help me out. This” he said gesturing, “Is Master Katara of the Southern Water Tribe. Katara, this is our Palace Doctor." The man's eyes widened and his mouth dropped open as he turned to her, "Master Katara! I had no idea! It truly is an honour and a privilege to meet you! Why, the woman who is an inspiration to the medical community the world over is before me! I've heard so much about you!" and he bent at the waist again, nearly as low as he had previously.

Katara was flustered. She fiddled with the cloth, blinked twice and then gathered herself enough to bow back and say, "It's a pleasure to meet you too, though I do think you flatter me too much."

"My lady is too modest. Suffice to say that the nation is very grateful to you for saving our Firelord's life" and here he paused, surveying Zuko's wounds at a glance, "Even though he himself cares very little for it. I suppose it's the usual thing your majesty?"

"The usual thing-?"

"Ignore him Katara,” Zuko interjected. “Nakamura as you can see, I'm well on my way to recovery so please tell Madam Bossy here to leave me alone."

"To answer your question, Master Katara," he said, completely ignoring Zuko while sitting himself on a chair and opening his big bag of tools, "He gets into such scrapes on the regular, I suspect, but calls me only a few times a year when they're really bad. I can point out the scars if you want. And even then he doesn't rest properly. I'm glad you're here, maybe you can knock some sense into him." At this, she glared at Zuko, who had the sense to look very sheepish as he helped remove the bandages, allowing himself to be examined again.

"These look quite nasty, how are they..." And the doctor looked up at Katara, realisation dawning on his face, "It seems the Fire Nation is once again indebted to you, Master Katara. Your healing prowess is truly beyond anything I have seen and I’ve been all over the world. Your majesty, you will be up and about in a week's time provided you rest. I can prescribe a painkiller and an antibiotic, but I suspect you don't need me for much else."

After he had told her about the fascinating solutions and pastes they’d be using, he got up to leave when suddenly, an idea struck her. Getting up to move closer to him, she said, "Thank you, Doctor, we'll be in touch. On a more personal note, I have been studying some of the medical books in the Palace Library for a few weeks now and was wondering if I could discuss them with you? Whenever you're free of course. Waterbending is all very well, but I've seen the cure for some ailments only in your science, quite a bit of which I don't understand."

The idea made sense to her: improving her abilities would help her serve the community better. And she couldn't possibly leave till Zuko was up on his feet. Might as well make good use of her time. The Doctor nodded back, "My office is in the Caldera Central Hospital and I usually get free by early evening, so we could have tea, my Lady. But you're free to drop by anytime you want, it would be an honour to have you. And if I may be so bold, we'd love it if you helped with the patients too, it feels like we're always understaffed." This was again pointed at Zuko, who steadily ignored him. Sighing, he said, "Good day, Master Katara, My Lord." And the door clicked shut.

She chuckled, picking up the medicines he’d left behind. "All you people are really obsessed with honour aren't you?" She could feel Zuko staring at her, something clearly on his mind. Pointedly avoiding him, she continued her task at hand. Soon enough, he spoke: “I’m sorry about yesterday. I was unimaginably rude when it was completely uncalled for.” She spared him a glance and nodded. Tentatively, she asked, “I know we haven’t been in touch and I’m a little unsure what exactly happened, but I’d like to be friends again, Zuko. If you want that too?”  
“Friends,” he said slowly, as though tasting the word on his tongue. And then he smiled. And she smiled back.

Soon after, he started, “So, you wanted to learn what the problem with the Northern Water Tribe is…” They talked for a while. It was halting and there was no mention of their history or Aang or anything heavy, but it still felt good. Like they were peeling back the years. Resetting time.

A few hours later, Izumi flew into the room, followed by the rest of the kids and jumped on the bed, hugging Zuko tightly, hiding her face in his shoulder. He hugged her back, wincing all the way. “Daddy, daddy are you okay? Look at all these bandages, what happened? You never take a day off from work!” Then she pulled away and started sobbing, “Are you dying? Please don’t die too, daddy, please please don’t!”

This startled him into speech and he held her closer to him, kissing the top of her head, “No, no of course not sunshine. It’s nothing. It was Auntie Katara who forced me to take the day off-” Katara cleared her throat “- the _next two_ days off while she heals me.”

“So you’ll be okay?” Izumi asked, pulling away slightly, glasses skewed. “Yes I will be.” She stopped crying then, but burrowed into his side nonetheless, sniffling quietly. Kya piped up from behind them, “How did you get hurt, Uncle Zuko?”

“Was it while you were on a super secret mission fighting criminals?” Bumi asked excitedly and Zuko suddenly started coughing violently.

“Grow up, Bumi. He’s the Firelord not some ninja.” Kya quipped as she jumped on the bed to thump his back.

Bringing up the rear, Tenzin said sincerely, “I’m happy you’re alright, Uncle Zuko. We were all worried.” Zuko smiled back warmly, “Thank you, Tenzin. I’m touched, really. Now come here, I want to know all about what happened today.” Izumi settled into bed next to him and Kya next to her as they all talked about their day and the upcoming field trip to the hot springs. They ended up having dinner in his chambers.

The day after was a school holiday and so she kept all the children on Zuko-sitting duty and made her way to the hospital where she asked for Nakamura. He seemed surprised to see her this soon but offered a tour of the place nevertheless.

It was a large structure, renovated fairly recently with five wings: one for infectious diseases, one for trauma and injury patients, one for the rich and politically connected (this was by far the most fancy and clean), one for pregnant women and children and a final one which served as a nursing home for dying or untreatable patients. There were a large number of patients and a disproportionate number of doctors. Her host was always quick to impress this fact on her along with pointing out their dwindling supplies. She supposed it was because he thought she had the Firelord's ear. However, she soon realised that the situation was indeed difficult- not just in this hospital, in others as well. There were not enough trained doctors and making more would require an overhaul of the existing system. Nakamura could understand that Firelord Zuko was trying his best and had his hands full, but they did need more doctors and they needed them soon. So when she asked to help out for the day, he happily assigned her to the trauma wing.

Most of the cases she saw in the clinic room were fairly simple, and with waterbending she worked through them quickly. One after another she treated burns, cuts, scrapes, some deeper wounds, some more burns, immersing herself in her work. After finishing more than her share of patients, she moved to the wards to see the more difficult cases.

At fourteen if someone had told her she would come to love healing and in fact be as good as she was now, she would have laughed at them. She'd always fancied herself a warrior. But now, she realised that she had missed this, the quiet concentration that was required, the gentle flow of the water, the smiles and gratitude when patients left cured. The last one perhaps most of all, it gave her the motivation to continue even after she realised she was exhausting herself.  
A couple of hours later, she decided to take a break, looked up and was startled to see a crowd of people gathered some distance away, watching her enraptured.

Noticing her alarmed expression, they all fell over themselves apologising, praising her, thanking her, all talking over each other. It was quite overwhelming, and she was a little too tired to process it all. The only thing she could truly register was that they were all healthcare workers delighted to meet and observe one of the best doctors in the world at work. They wanted to compare styles of healing, and some firebenders were curious to see if they could learn from her, in a fashion. There was no mention of the words, ‘Avatar’ or 'wife'. It turned out to be one of the best afternoons of her life.

At tea, she and Nakamura discussed their different styles of medicine: the Fire Nation had a wealth of flora which could be used to make an assortment of pastes, poultices, syrups and powders. Some of it she'd read about, but some was very new. She was suggested some books to read to improve her knowledge. Towards the end, Nakamura brought up the topic, "How long will you be here Master Katara?"

"Not sure as yet, but I suppose at least till Zuko feels better," she said, taking a sip of tea. The doctor looked thoughtful. "If I may be so bold, could I request you to come by whenever you can? You could see a few of our patients, it would exponentially reduce our load and maybe you could also take lessons for a few of our firebenders so that we too may learn how to heal using chi. The principle must be the same everywhere, after all. And I'll teach you our version of medicine."

She thought it over, it was too good a proposal to pass up, though it would mean staying for slightly longer than she'd planned. "That sounds perfect!! I'd love to help out!"

He looked relieved when he said, "Well that's settled then."

The next day, she went again, beginning her day with a class of five firebenders to teach healing to. It was slow going but she was hopeful. Towards the end, one of them asked her if they’d get a visit from Avatar Aang anytime soon and she informed them of the latest developments in clipped words. It seemed the news then spread like wildfire because after that, not one soul breathed the word ‘Avatar’ near her again, but she did get a lot of odd looks.

And so it was, that she left everyday with the children, except that where they went to school, she went to the hospital. Her day would begin with teaching healing using chi flow. Their progress was slow and barely noticeable, and it was difficult teaching a waterbending technique to users of the diagonally opposite element, but there was progress and one student almost healed a full cut the other day.

Next she'd see patients in the clinic, then the wards and finally over tea she'd learn a different brand of healing. It was exhausting, all of it, but also rewarding. Those days, she was more excited than the kids to talk about her day. Zuko would listen too when they moved to his chambers for a pot of tea after dinner. These meetings for Katara held a dual purpose- the second being to ensure he didn’t sneak out again. She'd fall asleep as soon as she hit her bed.

This continued for a fortnight, a fortnight in which she felt the most productive she had in a long while. She was learning and teaching at the same time, they were on to something that would change the world, and there were so many new possibilities! She'd never say it out loud, but she was enjoying the love and appreciation she received here as well. As a result, there was now a new idea brewing in her head which sounded exciting but also terrifying. She had to run it by Zuko.

This was how she found herself walking into his office once again, and once again he looked surprised to see her from behind piles of paperwork. Except this time there were no formalities as she let herself in. "I thought you’d be at the hospital-?"

"Took an off-day. Had to speak to you"

His forehead scrunched up, "What about?"

She seated herself at the table, "Do you remember the other day in your room a week ago?"

Zuko first looked startled, then swallowed and then blushed as red as the firelillies outside his window. He let out a strangled "Ye-es?" It took Katara a full minute to realise what had gotten him so flustered. She could feel the heat rising to her cheeks as soon as she did. Still, bravely holding his gaze, she said, "I'm …ahem… talking about the discussion we had about the Northern Water Tribe."

"Oh." And then they were both awkward, looking at different points in the room till she gathered her wits again enough to say, "I have a proposal for you. A way to handle the issue."

This got his attention. Zuko scratched his chin, "I'm listening."  
She took a deep breath. Then started. "What they want is your metal for their ships without having to provide anything in exchange. And you feel you don't need anything more from them, definitely nothing that the South can provide as well, that too at a better cost."

Zuko nodded, gesturing for her to go on.

"There is one commodity however that the North does have, that the South still has less of. Fully trained healers. Your healthcare system is overburdened with the large population, and waterbending can work through most injuries and a number of other diseases quite quickly. It can be a barter wherein one batch stays for a few months. We can do a trial run first with a small group. If they want they can learn your medicine and teach the others like I'm doing. I can spearhead this project myself, it will give you more credibility."

There was silence. For a little too long. Katara wondered if he'd shoot down her idea. The thought hadn't occurred to her so far, but now it played havoc in her mind. Did he think she couldn't handle this? Or that it was a terrible idea?

Finally he spoke, "That is actually a fantastic solution. A sharing of knowledge serves to bring us together and benefits everyone involved. And it is best to have you involved. I'm doing all I can, but there are still so many misconceptions about us. You could draw up the initial draft for the proposal and we'll have a meeting with Ambassador Panuk in..." And he checked the scroll at his right, "Will a week be enough for you?"

"More than." She said grinning widely. Well, it looked like she'd be staying here for the foreseeable future. And it looked exciting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope Katara and Aang's arguments feel authentic and true to character. The Katara we see is the one that existed after the comics. She was reduced to trophy wife and I have Thoughts on the subject. In that, this fic has been really cathartic for me so far. I have come up with the Kataang dynamic and its inbuilt problems after reading one too many metas. The Fire Nation's problems in the healthcare set up are directly inspired by my real life experiences as an HCW. As always, let me know how I can improve!


	8. Swordbending

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bumi gets a new teacher and Katara moves ahead with the Project.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for reading!! I'm actually floored that so many people like this story. Fair warning, this chapter is going to be Anti-Aang, so um, reader discretion advised?

_ As the days would get longer and the temperature warmer, Appa would be spotted in the skies. Everyone who saw him would gather around cheering. Katara would be called from whatever else she was doing and passed from hand to hand to the front of the crowd. Once he’d landed, Aang would leap out, and land on the ice with unnatural grace. He’d kiss Katara to raucous applause and then run up to the kids and pick them up, youngest first, swing them around and show them the gifts he’d brought along. Bumi and Kya got something nice and shiny but it was always Tenzin who was given something extra special, a memento of the Air Nomads, or scrolls or orange robes. He’d also spend the longest time talking to him or teaching him and later on, they also went on 'study trips' every few days, just the two of them.  _

_ She kept thinking that he’d have such holidays with Bumi and Kya too, but he never did. When she finally confronted him, all he had to say was, “They’re not airbenders Katara, why would they be interested in learning about traditions that are of no use to them? You know we only go to the Air Temples so that I can teach him about history.” _

_ “They may not be interested in history and traditions, but they are interested in spending time with their father!” _

_ “They’d just get bored”, was his complaint, but took them the next few times he travelled. Katara came along as well whenever she could. They went to a number of places then, not only the Air Temples but wherever they did go it would end up with Aang teaching Tenzin- the two of them really getting into it while the others had to find a way to entertain themselves. Sometimes they’d see them passing by on gliders and would later find that they'd journeyed to the nearby waterfall. Katara would grow exceptionally frustrated at this because it took away from the whole point. Her elder two would get bored and stick with her or each other and neither would end up bonding with their father. Soon enough, it was the children who refused to come along, with Kya telling her, “It’s alright Mom. I’d rather stay here and play with Yue. So would Bumi. We don’t have anything to do on those trips anyway.” _

_ “Once more, she confronted Aang. “I always said we’d be learning airbending- these are study tips after all." Here, she tried to interrupt him and he continued, "Katara, you know I'd love to spend more time with them too, but this is too important. For once, I have someone to share my culture with. There's so much I want to show and teach. I'm not the last airbender anymore! And I don't want to screw this up. I spend enough time with them while I’m here. Now please, let’s stop with this nonsense, you know I hate it when we fight.” This way, the trips were restricted to only him and his air bending child. Even though most times they went to places which Bumi and Kya could have enjoyed and they all knew it. This was because because Tenzin would come bounding back with tales of the incredible beasts he’d seen or the breathtaking views or how kind the people in so-and-so's town were.  _

_ Katara knew that seemingly minor things like these hurt the kids. Earlier they had been confused, when he wouldn’t take them along and the few times Aang left with prior notice, she’d see one of them asking if they could come along on the adventure too. This was always met with a ruffling of hair and a, “We’re not going on an adventure, this is a learning trip. We need to make a Master out of your brother as soon as possible and I don’t want you two to get bored! Maybe next time, when your mother can come too, so that you can spend time with her.” _

_ “But last time you guys went to the Great Divide! We wanted to see it too, why didn’t you take us?” _

_ “That? Oh that was just a detour. Nothing too adventurous. You know how busy I am, with the Avatar stuff and this new problem with the Fire Nation... I’ll take you as soon as I get free.” _

_ Later this turned to anger. “Ugh, an ice festival again? How interesting.” Bumi said, rolling his eyes. “Why is everything here about ice and snow and water? It’s so stupid!” _

_ “I don’t know, Bumi. It sounds cool to me! Waterbending is so magical, wish I could waterbend,” Tenzin said dreamily and Katara beamed. _

_ Noticing this reaction, Kya laughed scornfully, “Oh you want to waterbend too now? Ask the Spirits for earth and fire too while you’re at it! Might as well become the next Avatar.”  _

_ “Kya don’t be mean to your brother!” Katara reprimanded, and it was the girl’s turn to roll her eyes as Tenzin looked down at the floor. He had at first prided himself that his Dad paid the most attention to him, but he was a sensitive creature and wise beyond his years. He’d stopped gloating a long time back and even tried to include them whenever Aang made plans. But his father, his hero was completely infallible in his eyes and there was no way to dispute the superior logic and reason he put forth.  _

_ Over the years, anger festered into resigned acceptance when Aang reasoned with them over and over again that, “It was airbender training” or “It’s Air Nomad culture and history, and it’s not necessary for you to know it.” Statements like these couldn’t really be argued with, especially by children. She herself always tried to reason with him whenever small upsets happened. Because as she’d learned so many years ago, that the calm and cool gentle coaxing approach worked best on Aang when something was to be explained. He didn't respond well to her flying off in a rage. But it chipped away at her- the bottling up of all her anger. Sometimes she felt it turning into something truly bitter and vile. On these occasions, she’d confront him about how he treated the kids, how he never seemed to stay with them and he'd understand and reassure her, justify his actions and make some small change. On his ninth birthday, as Aang was missing again with Tenzin in tow, Bumi asked her quietly, “Why does Dad not love us?” _

_ That finally sent her on the warpath and it was one of the few times she’d truly gone ballistic at him. He gave the same explanations and apologies and she understood that the gentle approach was clearly not working. After this, the fights only escalated.  _

_ However, this new approach didn’t seem to work either as he soon began retaliating with the idea that he was the wronged party because she didn’t love him enough to prioritise him over her tribe and the work she did there. That she never wanted to come with him. And every time they fought, he flew off, matter unresolved, sometimes for days on end and she'd have to face judgemental stares and questions. It was all in all a mess.  _

_ The years passed and suddenly her baby Kya was ten. All of them now had children, even Toph, though she wouldn’t say who the fathers were. And it kept growing, the dissatisfaction. With herself, her life, her husband. It came to a head one innocuous day at the beginning of summer.  _

_ Aang had been staying with them as he usually did. A few days back he'd left with Bumi on vacation and now the cheers and waving at the sky alerted her to his return. Sure enough, there he was- an orange figure gesticulating wildly from Appa’s saddle. She waved back as her Most Powerful and Wonderful Husband jumped out on the ice, beaming. As usual, a crowd gathered to greet him, but this time, she hung back.  _

_ “And now, for the real hero! TENZIN!!” There was a chorus of oohs and aaahs as Aang coaxed a terrified looking Tenzin forward to showcase the good old marble trick. The pride on her husband’s face made her feel warm inside, but it was also tinged with something bitter. She couldn’t remember the last time he’d looked so proud of his other children. Tenzin then proceeded to run straight into his mother’s arms while Aang stayed out awhile, demonstrating airbending to his adoring fans. Katara left, having seen it all before, and he missed her exit. _

_ She found herself dreading lunch. There was a storm coming, the mother in her could sense it, she'd weathered enough of these to know. She just had to find a way to steer through it somehow. Her brother and his family joined them and they all sat down around the table in their home. Aang at the head with Katara to the right and Sokka and Suki to the left. Kya sat next to her mother while Bumi, Tenzin and Yue sat at the other end. _

_ Almost immediately Aang burst out excitedly, “You will not believe what we saw this time! The rainbow koi! How about that! Everyone was saying that they went extinct, but there they were, hiding off this small island in the Eastern Earth Kingdom! They are exactly as I remember them. Huge! And friendly! Tenzin has a way with animals too it seems, they seemed to love him! We rode them for that entire afternoon.” _

_ Yue clapped her hands and asked him to tell her more, Kya leaned forward in her seat clearly waiting for her turn to speak while Bumi just picked at his food. Suki exchanged a look with Katara. _

_ “Their fins glint in the light and throw off rainbows. Much better grip than the elephant koi too! Haha do you remember guys? Best day of Sokka’s life that’s for sure!” Aang looked around expectantly, but it was only Yue who squealed, everyone just looked around expectantly. Katara was surprised, her brother always enjoyed that story, but right now he was just frowning at his food. _

_ Taking advantage of the sudden pall in conversation, Kya nearly leapt off her chair in a bid to get his attention, proudly presenting the bubble of wine she’d managed to raise from her uncle’s cup “Dad, DAD LOOK AT THIS!! Mom taught me, isn’t it so pretty?? I can make it dance too!! ” And she proceeded to twist it into a shape nearly resembling a koi. _

_ “Wow, that’s very nice sweetheart, I think Tenzin can do something similar, can’t you?” Tenzin got to levitating the cup in midair to chase the wine and Kya’s concentration slipped. The wine drenched Sokka who proceeded to let out a very undignified yelp. _

_ “I’m sorry, I’m so so sorry!” Kya managed to squeak out. _

_ “That’s alright sweetheart, we just need to get you some more practice with mom don’t we?” Kya looked about to cry and not even Sokka could make a comment about Magic Water. _

_ Katara tried to bend all she could of the wine from her brother's clothes as the table went silent again. Clearly trying to defuse the situation, Sokka began a conversation with Aang. Bringing up the recent conflict in the Earth Kingdom, he said “They’re messing with our supply chains. Help them sort their shit out bef- “ _

_ “Sokka!!” _

_ “Sorry, sorry. Forget you heard that kids. Back to what I was saying, tell them to sort themselves out, it’s beginning to impact us as well” _

_ “The pirates are giving us a lot of shit” _

_ “Bumi!!” _

_ “But that’s what uncle Sokka said that day, Mom!”. Katara sent Sokka a glare, the one she’d perfected over the years that said ‘you fucking idiot’. Sokka looked sheepish. _

_ Aang stepped in, barely holding in his laughter, “Aah don’t worry about that. Kuei has agreed to send some troops. Which reminds me, I-“ _

_ “Why didn’t you take me and Kya with you Dad?” Bumi interjected. _

_ A very pregnant pause. _

_ “We’ve already talked about this, Bumi. These are airbending lessons, you are a non-bender”, Aang explained, slowly as though he were talking to a 6 year old not his 12 year old son, mature beyond his years. _

_ “We could have still ridden the koi!” _

_ Aang frowned “Oh yeah, huh. But it was after the lesson, you'd have gotten bored in that time. Oh well, next time definitely.” _

_ But Katara knew, and so did everyone else in the room that this promised next time, like all the next times before it, wouldn’t come. Bumi looked like a kicked puppy, Kya looked teary, Tenzin was confused. _

_ Aang continued, “So as I was saying, I have great news! With Zuko and Kuei’s help, Air Temple Island is nearly ready! Which means we will all be moving next summer!” _

_ Shocked silence. _

_ Then Bumi, always the quickest to catch up said, “We’ll be leaving home?” _

_ “Well yes, but we’ll make a new home! What do you think, Katara? All polished and new for you. You'll have waterbenders in Republic City to work with too!” _

_ She knew that this was coming up sometime in the future. He’d mentioned it in passing. But they’d never really discussed it. The implications of such a move. They had children for La’s sake and only one of them could air bend. She felt like crying and the only reply possible at that moment was a garbled “That sounds very nice, sweety”. _

_ Suki shared a look with Sokka and declared with finality, “The kids can all sleep over at our place. Yue dragged home another stray and as much as I want the poop monster out, it is cute. I guess they’ll love it.” _

_ As the rest of dinner passed in small talk decidedly away from any and all koi topics, Katara understood again that there was a storm coming and this time she did not feel like holding back. _

"Well if it isn't Master Katara of the Southern Water Tribe! I did not expect to see you here!" Ambassador Panuk's voice boomed as soon as he entered the room and had dispensed with the formality of bowing to the Firelord. They were seated in one of the smaller meeting halls in the office complex.

"It's good to meet you again, Ambassador. Do you miss your friends at the South now that you're posted here?" she asked, smiling back as they gripped each other's forearms. 

"Oh yes of course, I particularly miss the times when we had ...uh differences of opinion. Some of our altercations were... quite lively. But enough about me, tell me, what business does the Avatar's Wife have in The Caldera?" He asked, settling down and making himself comfortable and thereby missing the way Katara stiffened and Zuko's blank face twisted into a scowl. 

_ You are my forever girl. _

But before he could say anything, she corrected the odious man herself.  "I'd prefer if you stuck to Master Katara, Ambassador. We've had this conversation before, _ it is _ what you'd call a man of my talents after all. And it's ex-wife now, I thought everyone knew already." 

Though she'd said this quite amicably, the tribesman paled and stared at her wide eyed, "I'd heard rumours, but..." 

"I believe this conversation is neither here nor there." Zuko snapped. "Ambassador, I called you here to discuss your communique regarding metal trade and Master Katara is here because she has some valuable input on the subject. So if we may begin?"

Katara took her seat to Zuko's right and Panuk struggled to school his expressions. The meeting was not off to a strong start. Fingers steepled in front of himself, Zuko started " You have requested 300 tonnes of metal as further war reparations. I have two primary issues with this. First, although I deeply regret the hurt that has been inflicted on your people by the actions of past rulers and military commanders, we have deliberated on this subject at length already in the Ba Sing Se Summit. The Fire Nation has apologised and given remuneration. By asking us for more, you imply that you do not trust us and the New Peace. Is that what this is about, Ambassador?" 

"Absolutely not, Firelord Zuko. We do trust you and treasure our partnership and the New Peace. But you must realise, the lives destroyed, our very own princess dead, all for your Navy's glory. You yourself kidnapped the Avatar- it's not something that's easily forgotten. We need to defend ourselves better from outside forces now, which is why we ask for the metal." 

Katara could identify the beginnings of a guilt trip and before it could begin true and proper, Katara interjected, "Ambassador, forgive me for interrupting, but you'll realise that the Fire Nation did their fair share of damage to the South as well, but we would rather accept the terms of the Summit and foster better cooperation with them than keep bringing up the painful past especially when Firelord Zuko has taken such efforts in international cooperation." 

"Well  _ Master Katara _ , we can't all be blessed with friends in high up places, can we, to  _ foster better cooperation, _ " he sneered and she saw Zuko clench his fists under the table. She shot him a look, begging him to calm down, which she could only hope he understood. She herself was fairly calm since she'd dealt with this enough. 

Zuko apparently did understand and ploughed on through gritted teeth, "The second issue I have is that even with the raw material, you simply do not have skilled labour necessary to actually build ships the right way." 

"The Earth Kingdom are our allies -"

"They are also at least 20 years behind us in terms of shipbuilding and other technology"

Panuk was silent for a while and Katara took this as her opportunity to begin. "Luckily, we have thought of a solution that will benefit all parties involved." 

"Oh you have? And are we going to listen to  _ these _ people who lived in ice huts till what? 5 years ago?" He asked Zuko.

"Yes, we are. Master Katara, knows her stuff and has the requisite experience. She has come up with quite the solution.” Turning to her, he said, “Master Katara if you will?" 

Katara unrolled the scroll before her and started her presentation.

"The Northern Water Tribe needs raw material and skilled labour to build its navy. Both things which the Fire Nation can provide. For 100 tonnes of metal and twenty engineers and architects who will oversee and coordinate the project, they request 200 of your trained healers. They will be posted in cities and some of the larger towns and for a few months at a stretch on rotation. We will begin with a trial period of ten and if it's successful, we shall continue with the project. You will find that a sharing of knowledge is in the spirit of the New Peace and the strengthening of ties. As a Water Tribe healer who has worked in the hospital here, I will oversee the whole project and ensure their safety as I hope you will ensure the safety of those that will be sent to the North. If any member of either side has any cause to be distressed, there will be repercussions for the other side. What say, Ambassador?" 

Ambassador Panuk it turned out, had a lot to say. Some of it was questioning Katara's ability snidely- here Zuko would enlist all her qualifications. Some directed at the untrustworthiness of the Fire Nation - here Katara would mention all that Zuko had achieved in his reign. Eventually he had to admit defeat when faced with a combined force of Katara's persuasion and Zuko's outright support.The Northern Tribe would consider and get back to them.

"That went about as well as can be expected." Katara said as she collapsed in her chair.

"That went well? The things he was saying to you..." Zuko began, concern on his features.

"Oh that. I've gotten used to it. And it wasn't anything worse than what he was saying to you." He looked over at her, "I will never understand how some things work in the tribes" he said, removing his headpiece and shaking out his hair. It fell like a sheet, obscuring his face from view. 

"What would you know?" She asked, affronted.

"It's not regular or anything, but Suki writes to me. She  _ was _ the head of my personal guard, you know. And Sokka talks way too much when drunk."

Katara sighed. "I don't even want to know what he's told you. Panuk will come around, don't worry." She said, getting up. Then, just as she was stepping out, "Don't be late for dinner. And thank you for having my back."

"Thank you for having mine." 

That evening, dinner was an exciting affair- letters had arrived once again from the South and everyone was reading theirs over and over again. Uncle Iroh had also written that he was on his way to visit, having been detained by some business with the Order. 

They were almost done, when Bumi, who'd been silent almost throughout, asked Zuko out of the blue, "Uncle Sokka wants to know if I've seen your twin swords yet. What does he mean? I didn't know you were good with swords, you have no need to be!" 

"Ehh... It's not exactly come up in conversation," He shrugged. "I did learn since I was 8. Uncle asked his friend to teach me." Katara looked up sharply. She could guess what was coming and she willed Zuko to react appropriately, for her son's sake. 

"Can you... Can you teach me?" Bumi asked softly and cautiously, shrinking in his seat.

Zuko looked surprised at the sudden change in attitude. " Why not? I'd love to! I didn't think you'd be interested! Let's start tomorrow itself, maybe in the evenings?" Bumi hastily nodded, "Whenever you want Uncle Zuko, whenever." 

"That's decided then. Anyone else wants to learn?" Both Kya and Tenzin politely declined and Bumi looked relieved. 

They met by the training grounds the next evening and she saw him without all his regalia for once. The shoulder plates, the heavy gold belt, the multiple layers were all gone. His hair was tied but without the crown, wearing only a loose tunic and two wooden swords. Katara was immediately reminded of the Western Air Temple when he'd joined them in similar clothes. She herself was in her simple blue kuspuk, hair tied in a loose braid, sitting with Kya on the sidelines in case anyone needed a healer. Bumi, who'd been sitting with them, jumped up immediately the moment he spotted Zuko. Katara suspected that he'd thought Zuko wouldn't turn up. "Let's get started Uncle Zuko! I can't wait!! I'm going to be all FWOOSH! And SWISH! SLASH! SHWICK! and it's going to be so cool!! Let's go, let's go!!" 

"Calm down." Zuko interjected sternly. "The Way of the Sword requires the greatest focus and discipline. You won't be given a real sword any time soon. We'll start with warm up exercises for balance."

"But Uncle Zuko-"

"No buts! And here you call me Sifu." Katara smothered her laughter at the expression on Bumi's face. It seemed that Kind and Accommodating Zuko had been replaced. By Strict Disciplinarian Zuko. 

"No, do it again, slowly. If you wave a real sword around like that, you'd cut off your arm!" 

"HOLD THAT POSE!"

"Better." 

"No, not like that, you're getting ahead of yourself. Raise and balance. Get used to the weight. Thaaat's it."

"Focus, Bumi. You can see the birds after our time's up."

"20 firesquats, NOW!" 

Kya was cowed and Bumi was thrown off. Zuko had never so much as raised his voice in front of them before. But after the initial shock, Bumi recovered and to his credit, tried his best. He cut himself a couple of times (which she used as healing practice for a very meek Kya) but bounded back every time, determination written on his small face. By the end, he was sweaty, sore and completely drained and she was really proud of him. He and his new Master bowed to each other and Zuko took both swords, swung them around in a neat arc and easily sheathed them to wide eyed wonder from his young audience.

"Show off" Katara pouted. He smirked at her, sweat glistening on his face and arms. This was extremely distracting for some reason and she stared, mesmerized as a rivulet rolled down corded muscle while he reached for a cloth to wipe it off. She snapped back to reality when she realised he was staring at her, brow furrowed, the picture of confusion and floundered for something to say to him, annoyed at her inability to focus on literally anything else. 

"You were much more difficult with Aang. You’ve grown soft in your old age.." The kids gawped at the idea of Zuko being scarier than he was now. 

"No, I think it's because your son is simply a better student," he said, scratching his chin. "He gets that from you, you know."

Turning to Bumi, he patted his shoulder, "Well done. Very, very good job. You're off to a strong start. Tomorrow, same time?" He asked with a raised eyebrow and the boy nodded eagerly. Once he was gone, her son gave her one of the biggest smiles she'd seen, hands on his waist like he'd just conquered the world. Which lasted all of two seconds before Kya drenched him in water. "Stinky!" She said, nose wrinkled. 

"I'm going to get you for that, you little-"

This continued for the next couple of weeks. True to his word, Zuko took Bumi under his wing. Katara knew that he could have passed up the opportunity or appointed a master but there he was, every evening, sparring swords in hand. She could see the hero worship in Bumi's eyes increase every time and hoped for his sake that he wouldn't be let down. 

Tea after dinner had become a regular occurrence. He'd make the tea, she'd pour it out and they'd discuss mundane everyday topics. She’d almost forgotten that the reason she’d proposed these meeitngs was to keep him from his dangerous nightly acitivities.

When Zuko was in a Mood, he’d vent about his ministers and his day. He’d get so animated, a far cry from the expressionless facade he put on for the sake of his court and she loved that she was once more part of the few who he let see this side of him. One day he told her:

“Some of these idiots want a statue of Sozin on the anniversary of the Great War, as if that wouldn’t send the worst message ever to the world and completely counteract everything I’ve been trying to achieve and be massively expensive at the same time.”

“Yeah, terrible idea. Counteract with a different offer, maybe a park? Or something else instead? A celebration?”

Another day it was:

“Azula has set spies on me?”

“Are you surprised?”

“No” he sighed, “Just irritated.”

The next day it was:

“We’ve just finalized the subsidy system! It will benefit farmers across the nation. Grain and fertilizer at lesser prices, we’ll have more than enough crops to export and it’ll keep the poorer population fed on more than just fish from polluted rivers.”

(She loved these days the best, when he got to passionately talking about his country and his people and the reforms he’d planned.)

Another time it was:

“Our Mayor had smoked opium again before coming in here. It was really obvious. And the worst part is that he holds so much clout, I can’t even get rid of him!”

“Maybe you should try it yourself, might get you to relax.” 

She looked forward to this time of the day, there was such a serenity here. She had no idea how she'd gone so many years without. If only he'd call her Tara again...As it was, Zuko listened to all she had to say. On a few occasions, she even argued with him regarding policy. As a result, she was inadvertently getting very well versed with Fire Nation politics. 

Katara had already been to see the Health Minister, a wizened old woman named Chiyo who'd given her the go ahead for her project, provided she was kept in the loop. The Northern Water Tribe had agreed too and she'd had to suffer through a one on one meeting with Panuk to hammer out the details. 

"You know what his parting words were? That I'm on 'thin ice'" she said with finger quotes. "What the fuck is that? A threat? A bad joke? There's no coming back from this, I'll never be able to take him seriously now." Zuko barked out a laugh at this and she continued, "Anyhow, the first batch of healers are now on their way..." 

During one such tea, she asked Zuko point blanck how serious he was about teaching Bumi and for how long. It had been on her mind for a while and she just had to clear some things up. "I am completely serious about teaching Bumi! Why wouldn't I be? At least till however long he wants to stay here and learn. I do actually  _ like _ the little guy you know. And since Izumi has decided on Mai's knives, I have no one else to mentor. Have I done anything to make you doubt me?" He asked, clearly confused. When she didn't say anything, he waited for her to speak. 

"He looks up to you." She said quietly, staring at the floor.

He snorted, "A bad idea for very many reasons, but which one are you thinking of right now?" She stayed silent and he must've caught on to her mood. 

"Katara -?" 

"Don't let him down." She said, finally looking up to face him. 

His brow furrowed quizzically for a moment before smoothing. She could see anger and determination glint in his eyes, and wondered for the first time what it was that Sokka had drunkenly rambled to him. Zuko reached out to grasp her hands in his. They were large- completely engulfing hers, sword-calloused, and very warm. She was surprised that it was him initiating contact, but revelled in the feeling. 

"I won't." 

She gave him a squeeze back, along with a wan smile. "I believe you." It was a while before it occurred to her to let go. 

On the tenth day of training, a familiar face popped up. "Kataaaraa!!" There was a body in pink bounding towards her and crushing her in a tight hug before she could truly register what was happening. "It's been so long! Wow you look so pretty!!"

"It sure has, Ty Lee. And you look gorgeous too!! How have you been?" 

"Can't you tell?" She asked, letting go and twirling around, "I've been training my favourite princess! My aura is glowing! Ooh and yours doesn't look bad too. It's this pretty sea green. A little murky though I was expecting much worse you know. I'm glad! I must tell Suki, she has been worried. And look, it's getting clearer! Oh hi, Zuko! Didn't see you there!" 

The session commenced as usual. Ty Lee got talking to Katara about all the gossip she'd missed out on. They were busy planning a shopping trip in the near future, which is why they were all caught off guard when Izumi ran up and tried to chi block Bumi mid- movement. Except that she either wasn't fast enough or had given enough credit to Bumi's innate spontaneity because even when he was slowly turning limp, he managed to stick out a leg and trip her up before falling on her. Poor Tenzin tried to help them but tripped on Bumi's outstretched arm and fell on them in a heap. Kya laughed so hard she had tears in her eyes and she looked over to see Zuko chuckling too, before hauling up the kids one after another and dusting them off. 

"Tenzin- take care of yourself before helping others, Bumi that was very spontaneous and exactly the instincts a warrior should have, Ty if you will -" he said, placing the limp boy in Katara's lap, "Izumi, great effort. Are you hurt little Wildfire?" And he handed her to Kya, "Try healing her by yourself." When Kya nervously shook her head, he insisted, "You can and you will. I have full faith in you." Katara found that she could not look away from the scene unfolding before her.

She was suddenly aware of Bumi calling her, and pulled her attention back to the boy in her arms. "Can you try Ty-?" She asked, turning around only to find the other girl studying her. Feeling slightly self-conscious, she quickly looked away, refocusing her attention on how her daughter was doing. 

One evening, she was late to come to the training grounds. Kya and Tenzin were learning chi blocking with Izumi so it was just her that day. Surprisingly, all seemed to be quiet and on closer inspection, she saw Bumi talking to Zuko.

"- I firmly believe that you should know how to defend yourself, bender or non-bender. Unfortunate side effect of growing up in war is that I think everyone should know how to fight from a young age. Your mother will disagree of course." He chuckled, "Save their innocence she'll say. Izumi started training with knives a year ago and chi blocking two years ago. She's fantastic at it." Katara could hear the pride in his voice even from a distance. 

After a minute's silence, Bumi asked him, "Aren't you upset that she's not a firebender Uncle Zuko?"

Zuko was quick in his reply. "Not at all. She's smart and hard working and fierce and brilliant and everything I could want in my daughter and heir. Who cares if she's not a bender? She's my baby girl and I love her - Bumi? Bumi what's wrong?" It seemed her boy had started sobbing. It was all the more heartwrenching because she'd rarely seen him cry. Katara wanted with all her heart to run to him, but something told her to wait. To let Zuko handle it. And that's what she did, hiding behind the shrubbery. 

"Why doesn't Dad feel the same way? Why doesn't he love us like he does Tenzin?" This caused Zuko to inhale sharply. 

"Fathers love all their kids, I'm sure if you asked Aang-"

"He's never there! He doesn't care!! And Mom knows it too! It's one of the reasons they broke up, I heard her tell Uncle Sokka about it!" 

Katara could feel her knees buckle and she stifled a cry with her hands. 

"Why am I such a failure? Why am I never good enough?" 

At this, she saw Zuko hug him tight. There were tears in his own eyes as Bumi sobbed into his shirt and he continued holding him. It took quite a while for him to calm down. 

Finally, Zuko replied in a voice huskier than normal, belying his underlying emotions, "I know you Bumi, you're no failure. You are more than good enough. You have Sokka's penchant for strategy and tactics, your father's fun and impulsive nature and you're as caring, kind and hard working as your mother. You're brilliant Bumi, never forget that." 

Bumi sniffled, and continued staring at the ground. "I'm not an air bender." For the longest time, Zuko didn't speak. 

"My father gave me this, you know." He said, pointing at his scar. Bumi gasped and looked at him really quickly in shock. "When I was 13, for disobeying him. He always praised my sister and most of my childhood was spent in her shadow, trying to get his praise. Never worked. I was always the inferior one in his eyes. Then I was burned and banished and" here he used finger quotes, "'stripped of my honour'. I spent three years trying to get it back, but all I really wanted was my father's love." 

Bumi was now staring at him, wide eyed. "And though I'm not saying our situations are anywhere similar, I understand you more than you know. It took me a long time to realise that parents are supposed to love their children unconditionally, no matter how much they screw up. That you don't owe them anything. If your father doesn't love you as he should, then it's his loss and his fault Bumi, not yours." 

"Maybe, when you're ready, you can sit and ask him for his reasons, but for now, know that you're loved. Your mom's here for you, so is Sokka, Kya, Tenzin, Izumi and me. You can always count on us."

"Is it unmanly if I cry again, Uncle Zuko?" 

"Of course not! I cry all the time, are you calling me unmanly?" Bumi burrowed his face in Zuko’s tunic once again and shook his head aggressively. Zuko smoothed the back of his head with one hand and wiped his own eyes with the other. 

"It's not my fault that they aren't together anymore, is it Uncle Zuko ?" And Katara could not hold herself any longer. She rushed out and Bumi startled at the sudden movement. Gathering him in her arms she cried out, "No love, it's not. Not at all. And neither is it your fault that your father acted the way he did. It was all his. Believe me, please. I'm terribly sorry if you ever felt that way." 

"I love you Mommy."

"Love you too, my Wolf." 

The next time she looked up, Zuko had walked away and she and her son had a long overdue conversation. 

That night, her hands shook as she poured him tea. "Thank you." 

"You have nothing to thank me for. Are  _ you _ alright?" 

"More than I thought I'd be." She said, through watery eyes and some liquid sloshed out of the cup and on the table. 

"I'm not good at this," Zuko said, fidgeting and looking away from her. "But would you like a hug? Before you waste all the tea?" 

Katara bit her lip and nodded. Through blurry eyes, she saw him getting up and opening his arms, an awkward smile on his face. She set the teapot down with a clatter and blindly rushed into them. Oh, this was familiar, this was safe. She closed her eyes and settled into his comforting warmth as he brought his arms up around her. The hurt and distress peeled away in layers as she clung on. Katara could almost imagine that they were back on that Ember Island Pier, surrounded by sea and sunset. Then, her fingers brushed over his longer locks and she was pulled into a more recent memory, of sunrise and red sheets. One of his arms held her to him as the other played with her hair, fingers lightly touching her scalp. She nearly purred. Looking up into molten gold eyes, his face held the softest expression yet. 

"I've got your back", he whispered. This caused her to smile and further burrow her face in him, nose grazing his neck and breath puffing out near the hollow of his throat. She could see him swallow, up close as his arms tightened. Much better, she thought, taking a deep breath, his smell permeating her. Hugs were the best when all you could see and feel and smell was Zuko. There was an idea tingling at the very edges of her consciousness and she was lost in the feeling of never wanting this to end- 

Aaand he was inhaling sharply and putting some distance between the two of them. 

"Tea's gone cold, I'll make a fresh pot."

She felt giddy for a bit. Reeling from the sudden emptiness, but Zuko had his back to her and she managed to gather herself enough to sit back down. She felt a little bit at a loss of what to say when there was a knock at the door.  Zuko looked at her curiously before calling out, "Enter.

A messenger came in, handed him a scroll, bowed and left. Breaking the seal, Zuko read out, "The healers will be here in two days' time." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope I haven't done Aang too much of a disservice! He was canonically a bad father (which sucks honestly) and I ran with that. Let me know how the interactions were!! It's my first time with everything, including angst! This chapter was Bumi and Katara centric and I wanted to develop a strong friendship between her and Zuko before romance. But we shall advance a bit more with the slow burn in the next chapter :)  
> Huge shoutout to my amazing beta @myrsinemezzo !!


	9. Destiny

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This will be the big kataang fight. If you wish to avoid it, don't read the parts in italics. Also, I know I promised more on the romance front and I wrote those scenes as well. I really wanted to include them, but decided to keep for later. Booo, I know. But that means the next chapter is already halfway done.  
> All the usual disclaimers guys.

_ Katara had looked forward to the day she began her own family for as long as she could remember. Sokka still teased her about her meticulously set up house party games and the dolls that attended them. She had been one of the best at cooking and sewing and the most reliable babysitter all at the age of fourteen. She would make an excellent wife. Everyone knew it and so did she. And then it had happened: she had wed the most desirable bachelor in the world, a tall, handsome and powerful bender. Just as destined.  _

_ Aunt Wu’s prediction rang in her mind. It had formed a habit of doing that these days. And whenever it did, she questioned herself- was this the great romance she was fated for? It all felt hollow now. A blank white emptiness just like the tundras of the south. Sometimes disturbed by a howling storm. She had had quite a few of those too. There was another one going on- unwanted, unavoidable. It raged through her mind, ruffling up thoughts she’d neatly kept suppressed over the years. She could focus on nothing else, certainly not on the bowls she was supposed to be cleaning. Finally Suki grabbed them from her hands and said forcefully, _

_ “Talk to him.” _

_ Katara looked at her sister-in-law and saw understanding and sorrow. “Whatever else happens, we are by your side. Stay strong. You’ll see this through”, Suki told her fiercely. Katara pressed her palms to her eyes for a minute, looking downwards, then nodded. _

_ Soon, everyone else had left, her children staying over at her brother’s place and she felt Aang approach her. “It was nice of them to give us the house for tonight,” he said as she felt his arms come up around her from behind. For a moment, she leaned into his embrace, reveling in the calm before the storm, trying to enjoy what should have been by now familiar and desirable. She found that she couldn’t. Just as he went to nuzzle her neck, she disengaged and turned around to face him, “Aang, stop. We need to talk.” _

_ “About?!” She would have found his befuddled and frustrated expression funny had the situation not been so dire. _

_ “You did not take Bumi and Kya with you. They feel left out and for good reason,” she began, calmly enough. _

_ "Oh, come on! Again?” he asked, gesticulating wildly. “I told you that’s not my fault. We were just going to-" _

_ "Practice airbending- I know, so why can’t you do it here? We already see you sparingly, then you decide to just up and leave for days?" _

_ Aang made a frustrated noise, “Why do you seem to have a problem with everything these days? You know why I can’t stay in one place too long! I’m a Nomad! It’s just not in my blood. I’d take you too, except you never want to come anymore!” _

_ Katara ignored that last part. They’d had the same argument over and over again, and she didn’t want to derail the conversation. "Fine, but then you just had to go and see the stupid fish by yourself didn't you? Did it not occur to you that the others might want to ride it as well?" _

_ "It was a spur of the moment plan!"  _

_ "Why are ALL your plans spur of the moment? Don't you even consider Bumi and Kya? Sometimes, I wonder if you even care about them," she demanded, hands on hips. _

_ "That isn’t fair, Katara. Of course I care. Alright, alright. Next vacation, that’s what we’ll do. I'll take them as well so that they can get bored and come back and say they don't want to come along,” he continued in a monotone. “And honestly, why would they?"  _

_ "They're your children as well! They need to spend time with you and understand their traditions whether or not they show interest right now! And do you mean to say that Tenzin will know none of my world? Is that how it is?" She could feel herself getting worked up, but for once did nothing to quell the feeling. She had been calm, quiet, accommodating for long enough. Now it was time to rage.  _

_ "Katara, please understand, there are no more Air Nomads left except the two of us -" _

_ "I DON'T CARE. He's my son too. He WILL wear water tribe colours, he will learn our stories, he will eat our food unless he CHOOSES not to." She shook her head when he tried to interrupt her. “It always comes back to YOUR CULTURE, doesn’t it? Does my culture mean anything to you? The Water Tribes value family beyond all else. Have you ever come to the communal gatherings in the winter? Where we tell our stories? Have you gone on a hunt with the men? Have you taken our children fishing? They ARE half water tribe, you know! And honestly, Kya and I are the last true Southern Waterbenders, as well! I have nothing left of my heritage, no link, no connection. So yes, I too have a duty to my ancestors, but you don’t see me deserting half my family for it!"  _

_ Aang raised his hands in a gesture of surrender and spoke in a placating voice. "Katara, please understand. There are NO other air benders. I have no people, I have to keep our traditions alive all by myself. It’s a heavy burden. Also, this is the first time I’m hearing of this and had NO CLUE that you felt this strongly.” _

_ “You had ‘no clue’? Really? Didn’t you pay attention at all?-” _

_ “Okay, okay. Let’s end this here. I’ll try to do my best in the summers but really, I cannot participate in some of your ... customs." He shuddered slightly. "Anyway, this is getting away from us. If you want me to take them along next time, I will." And then, something seemed to occur to him because his expression changed. "Unlike you, who can never make it anywhere! You accuse me of being a terrible father, but I'M not the one who keeps cancelling every single family holiday because they're 'needed in the healing huts'!" _

_ "There was an emergency! They needed me! Despite what you think, I actually have a purpose here!" _

_ "There are other healers, Katara!! You are not absolutely required here!! Perhaps you should take your own advice and spend time with your family!" _

_ "Like YOU do? All I say is that I can’t make it for longer trips and instead of accommodating me, you keep throwing it in my face? I am always here for the family! Since I was 18! It’s what I do! Do you know the pity I see on everyone’s faces when you go away? 'Oh look, there goes Katara- married but no man to keep her warm in the winters'." _

_ "What has gotten into you lately, Katara? You were never like this! You know why I don’t stay the year round! Honestly, sometimes I find it impossible to believe that you're the same sweet, kind girl who found me all those years ago."  _

_ "You left out the part of HOW I found you, Aang. But I'll remind you- it was because I was so absolutely  _ **_livid_ ** _ at Sokka that I cracked open an entire iceberg all by myself, at a point in time when I had NO waterbending training. I was always like this Aang. You just never saw it."  _

_ "Oh, I never saw it. Me, your husband of what thirteen years? Let's just go to sleep. I'm tired of this constant bickering." _

_ "Oh, you know me so well? Do you even know the real reason I don't travel with you anymore?"  _

_ "I'm not a mind reader, Katara-" _

_ "DID YOU TRY TO FIND OUT? IT'S BECAUSE I. HATE. BEING. REDUCED. TO. JUST. YOUR. WIFE. AND NOW YOU TELL ME THAT I'M NOT REQUIRED HERE?!! WHERE EXACTLY AM I REQUIRED THEN, DO TELL." There were cracks forming in the ice walls now. Quickly sealing them himself, Aang asked, nearly shaking with anger, "Now you have a problem with being my wife? Was there another outcome you expected when you married ME?" _

_ "Again, you refuse to understand. I am your wife, but that is not ALL I am. I don't like it when people refer to me as such and you should have understood that by now. It just feels like you never really listen to a word I’m saying. And now there’s the air temple issue." _

_ "What I don't understand is why you didn't tell me all this before? How am I supposed to magically know everything? And what air temple issue?" _

_ "You did not consult me about it. Did you even consider us in your big decision?" _

_ "Hey, hey you knew it was getting ready and that we might move. You're actually on the council here. And it's next summer. Gives us all plenty of time." _

_ "But did you  _ **_ask_ ** _ me, did you wonder what I'd  _ **_want_ ** _ in my new home? You just CASUALLY mentioned in passing conversation that we’d all be moving there in a few months' time!" _

_ "Katara, this is getting ridiculous. I have taken care of everything, we just have to go there. And well, a few months is enough time isn't it?" _

_ "You've taken care of everything? What will be my role there? What about my role on the council, my work in the healing huts? What shall I do all day besides cook for you? What about the children? Will they have anyone around their own age? Bumi and Kya aren't air benders, will it be safe for them?"  _

_ "Well, some stuff we'll figure out as it comes. And you know yourself that someone else can do your work for you here, don't worry. You're being a little selfish. Don't you see? What's important is that we'll be together! We love each other, we’ll make it work!" _

_ And that’s when it hit her. It was not a big moment per se. Just another part in their apparently never ending arguments. _

_ “Not enough.” _

Katara was restless. It was now five months to the day she’d upended her entire life. In the weeks immediately after that, she’d had sleepless night after sleepless night. When sleep did come, it brought with it nightmares.

It had been the worst.

This was with the exception of that fateful night when she’d almost decided to go back home (the night that she couldn’t get out of her mind for so many reasons no matter how she tried). After that, she’d begun her stint at the hospital and quickly found out that if she worked hard enough, she’d just collapse on her bed in a dreamless sleep by the end of the day. Recently, she’d had to stop this too after several complaints about her work schedule.

“You don’t rest for a minute throughout the day. It’s just one thing after another. I understand that you’re enjoying this, but it’s just not healthy!” Zuko told her once. Katara appeared to look thoughtful, hand rubbing her chin. Then, she asked, “Wait, what’s that I see?” She edged forward, expression searching, “It.. it can’t be…” Zuko also looked around wildly, trying to find whatever it was she was looking at, “What is it?”

“Is that… Is that the pot calling the kettle black?” Katara finally asked.

“You work too much, Katara! You need to take care of your own health!” Zuko nearly yelled at her and she giggled at his frustration.

“I’m a healer. I know how-”

“Otherwise, we stop tea at night so you’ll get more time to sleep.” That gave her pause.

“Low blow. I’m disgusted,” she said, crossing her arms in front of her. He just shrugged and started packing up the tea things.

“Fine, FINE! I’ll come home sooner than before. Now give me my tea, server boy!” At this Zuko gave her a full blown triumphant grin. “Won’t take a minute.” His face was transformed when he smiled. He looked boyish, young and she wished he’d do it more often. Katara vowed to take efforts to see his face light up that way again. As it was, it had distracted her momentarily from the fact that she’d referred to the Palace as home.

She didn’t want to mention to him that she’d rather the exhaustion than the never ending turning of the wheels in her mind. But to her pleasant surprise, she no longer needed to tire herself out, and most nights she had peace- comfortable in the soft bed with blue cottonberry sheets that she’d grown attached to. But then there were some nights when her mind played out that last conversation in her head in an infinite loop. On these occasions, she’d walk around the gardens to clear her head or practice waterbending. Sometimes she had the eerie sensation that she was being watched, but could never pinpoint it. That night was proving to be one of the latter.

It was but expected. She was beginning something new the next day, a large international project and a major step in healthcare. It was exciting, yes, but she was also nervous: about how successful an endeavour it would be and slightly worried about the judgement she’d have to face outright. So far, in the Fire Nation, everyone had given her her space, but these were water tribe women. She just hoped that the prejudices they held against her wouldn’t sour the whole deal. As it was, a lot depended on how the two groups would interact and on Katara herself. There was no sleep for her and she wandered through the shrubbery, talking to Yue. Sometimes the breeze would ruffle her hair or a beam would caress her face and she’d imagine it was calm, sweet, wise Yue reassuring her. That night too, she was half convinced that there was someone or something nearby but even if they really were there, clearly they meant no harm if they hadn’t acted so far.

The next morning, Zuko came to her chambers with tea and breakfast and bad jokes. After a bit, even Bumi who’d joined them requested him to stop because ‘his brain was melting’ and then countered with bad jokes of his own. She appreciated the distraction, truly, but found herself playing with her hair throughout. After a bit, Kya reached out from her seat and stilled her hands with a smile and a, “It’ll be alright, Mom.” Before leaving, Tenzin hugged her tightly and all three wished her luck.

For the first time, she found herself alone with Zuko in her chambers, sunlight and sea breeze painting the room beautiful shades of turquoise blue. She smiled weakly at him, “Let’s go?”

Placing her water bag in its place of honour, she began striding out, when a hand closed around her wrist. She froze. Turning around, she saw a pale hand gripping hers and walked back towards its owner. He didn’t let go of her and she felt her skin tingle and burn with his touch. _It was just Zuko, what was happening?_ _Was this a firebender thing?_ Looking up at his face in the morning sunlight, she couldn’t help but notice that he looked handsome and more regal than ever: with that sharp jawline and sharp cheekbones. Except for his eyes. His eyes were soft and kind and worried and shined with shades of gold and ochre so that when he spoke, a nervous smile on his face, it took her a moment to come back to reality.

“I don’t understand why you’re this worried, Katara. Don’t you see? I couldn’t find a better leader for this project if I tried. I’ve seen you work and arrange everything. It’ll all be fine. Not that it needs to be said, but I’m with you in this. Whatever you need.”

Walking even closer to him, she held his gaze, the first hint of a smile on her face. “That was what I needed, Zuko. Thank You.” She closed the remaining distance between them, rising up on her tip-toes to kiss his unscarred cheek lightly. She lingered for a moment longer and breathed in deeply realising that her earlier statement was a bit of a half-truth.  _ This _ was what she had truly needed. Placing her other hand on his shoulder for support, she leaned on him slightly, eyes closed, revelling in his smell and feel and warmth for a bit, sunlight hitting her face. She allowed herself this-this moment of peace before letting go. Things could go pretty badly that day and she’d lost count of the number of terrible scenarios that had run through her mind the previous evening. She needed this- this calm before a possible storm. It was not the most comfortable with Zuko wearing all his regalia with the metal rimmed pads and everything, but she didn’t mind. Maybe she’d do this later when they were off... Katara dragged herself back to the moment - the last thing she needed was for him to take her for some creep sniffing at him. Zuko’s face had gone curiously pink and he looked down, rubbing the back of his head. “Uh yeah… Shall we, Master Katara?” Then, realising that he was still holding on to her wrist, turned a darker shade of pink, letting it go. Katara giggled, but didn’t tease him. As it was, her hand was still tingling from where he’d held it.

“We shall.” And they made their way to the docks, side by side.

As the ship pulled up, the first healers walked out on the pier, nervous and defensive. Katara greeted them followed by Zuko: the ten brave women who'd volunteered to step into what they probably still considered enemy territory. He thanked them and praised them and assured them of their safety and comfort and with a last lingering smile and touch to Katara’s arm, walked away with his retinue. She saw the women tracing his path and then turning their sights to her. There  _ was _ some judgement in their eyes, but more than that was genuine curiosity. She smiled back and started the walk back to their accommodation, showing them some of the city in the process. She’d figured the palanquins would only serve to make them more uncomfortable.

They were all housed in one of the guest wings and she herself gave them a tour of the place. This was partly because she wanted to see their expressions of wonder first hand and also to get to know them better. Though they all seemed to love their quarters and thanked her profusely, they were mostly apprehensive and didn’t speak much around her, even at dinner when they all ate the Water Tribe food she’d carefully instructed the cooks to make. Her children joined and helped defuse the awkward silences. After a day of rest, they were introduced to their workplace and their jobs. 

Katara was nervous, she didn't know how the two groups of people would interact. On the first day, she gathered all parties involved, the healers and all the main senior hospital staff. Standing on a dais alongside Doctor Nakamura, she began:

“A very good morning to everyone assembled. Today is a fine day, is it not? A fine day to begin something new, a fine day to make history? Today, the water tribes offer their services to work alongside the Fire Nation away from home for the first time in more than a century.” She took a pause, surveying her audience. Seeing that she had everyone’s attention, she continued. “Our countries have a horrible history, it is true, but today we come together with a shared purpose: healing. And I don’t refer only to patients here. I’m referring to the nasty wounds the war has left on all of us as well. With this endeavour, we try to move ahead and embrace a new world of kindness and togetherness and international cooperation. These ten brave women are talented healers and have left their families for a month’s time to work in this hospital. They will be directly reporting to me, and I request you to cooperate with them and show them some of the wonderful hospitality that I’ve received. They will be posted two each in each of the five wings and shuffled after a week. All parties will do well to remember that they are representing their nations and behave accordingly. Should any issues arise, they are to be brought to me. Thank you for your time.”

There was a round of applause and serious head nodding at this from all the folks wearing red. The women in blue looked various shades of taken aback and awestruck, but immediately followed suit. Then Doctor Nakamura had a short speech of his own, welcoming the healers and thanking them for their services. He bowed to Katara and shook her hand in the traditional Water Tribe way. There was more applause at this.

As everyone began dispersing, Katara walked up to the women, “Any questions, ask them now. We are representing the Tribes in a foreign land here. Their ways are different, no doubt, but you will get used to it in a week or two. I will be teaching a class of fire benders healing using chi in a while, you can help me if you so want, and I will also be learning their way of healing with herbs and pastes in the late afternoon. You can join me there as well. The Northern Tribe needs this deal to work, but so does the Fire Nation. We are proving that we can move on and we can do it with more flair than them. Anyone troubles you or bullies you or puts you down in any way, come to me. Be kind, be good, but also take no shit. Am I understood?” And all ten of them nodded back at her seriously with a chorus of “Yes Master”s.

Katara kept her nerves to herself, managing to go about her day as usual. Her class was really coming along and she was really proud of all five of them. If any of the ten would be interested, she could expand it soon. The clinics and ward rounds were also business as usual for her, except that day there seemed to be fewer crowds and more of a managed set up. People nodded to her as she swept past and some approached her with specific medical complaints. As she worked alongside Tapeesa and Yuka in the medicine unit, the staff and older patients greeted her, the friends she’d made stopped for a chat, some invited her over for tea and some asked her for advice. These were commonplace for her, but that day she saw herself through the eyes of the two women. And it struck her, how much had changed in the span of a couple of months. She saw the expressions of confusion melt slowly into reverence and pleasant surprise when most of these people extended the same respect to them.

That evening, she had dinner with the women and it was much less quiet than previously. Still, they wouldn’t include her in their circle but she had broken a barrier, she could feel it. Tea was an unskippable affair with Zuko. She had a lot to tell him about her day and rambled on as he listened. During one point in the evening, after a solid ten minute rant, she asked him nervously, “Are you bored?”

“Nope,” was his ready response. “I love listening to you Tar- Katara.” He blanched, and hurriedly continued with, “Do you want more tea?” But it was too late. She’d heard him. As Zuko quickly changed the subject, Katara hid her face and her disappointment behind her hair.

The next day was the same, and the next and the next. With every day, she grew closer to the women. She found that Tapeesa and Yuka were young widows without children. They weren’t accorded much back home and were enjoying their newfound respect in this strange land. Yue, Yue and Siqiniq were unmarried and quite young but had volunteered in a bid to explore their world before it narrowed down to their home and husband. Uki, Ikiaq and Cupun were old women, set in their ways. They weren’t unhappy in the Fire Nation but they weren’t too impressed either. She felt like they talked about her the most behind her back. Asiaq and Kirima were married, the former happily while the latter- not so much. All the younger women joined her in learning about the medicine here, surprised that some maladies which had been earlier thought as incurable were easily treated here. Tapeesa and Yue volunteered to teach with her as well and her class expanded to fifteen firebenders. If towards the end of the month she saw Tapeesa agree to go out on a date with one of the men, she said nothing about it.

The architects who’d gone North had had a more difficult time adjusting to the climate, but had settled in after a bit. The people in charge did want this deal to work badly and had been more than hospitable to the foreigners. The project was a roaring success, and she received letters and flowers every day thanking her. She was already thinking of ways to expand it so that there were healers in all of the Caldera’s hospitals. Maybe they could expand beyond, also? It was an idea. For now, the ten would stay for another few months as ten more healers arrived in a few days.

It was now six months to the day she had upended her life. The hot and humid summer had settled into a cool and pleasant winter, nothing like the snowstorms of the poles. She had not intended to stay for this long, but there was work to be done here as well, and when this project was well on its way, she'd go back. Sokka was adamant that she stay. He said that he had a plan in mind and that she should trust him and remain where she was. They planned on visiting soon, while Uncle was due to arrive the next day. Zuko had assured her many times that she wasn't trespassing and she hoped that her work here was enough for now. The children missed their father, she knew- the youngest more than anything- but she couldn't say the same for herself. They’d had a couple of letters as well, and that day she'd finally received one addressed to her. It felt heavy in her hands like it was dragging her backwards as she wandered the gardens in the stillness of the night.

To read or not to read. 

It had arrived on the dinner table and everyone had looked at her with varied expressions. Bumi and Kya were stony-faced, with Bumi shaking his head slightly at the ground. Tenzin looked hopeful, while Zuko... For once, she'd not been able to get a read on him at all. He'd worn his Politician's Mask. It was like a shutter coming down and blocking anything from being visible. Why her first reaction at that moment had been to reach out to him, to convince him that she wasn't going back, she didn't know. Tea had been a silent and quick affair. And as expected, there had been no sleep that night. 

She was pulled from her thoughts by the same instinct that told her there was someone there. Watching her. Again. This time she didn't let it go. It was a full moon night and she was irritated. She focused on where she thought the intruder was and reached out while appearing to study the flowers at her feet. Sure enough, a human being. Blood bending was wrong her ex would say. She was not Jet he would say. She didn't agree.

In a moment's notice, she lifted her arms and froze the intruder. A strangled cry went up. Pose held, Katara calmly walked up to the man. He was all in black, a bag slung across his shoulders. He was... "Zuko!"

She released him immediately and he collapsed. "I'd hoped you'd never pull that on me," he said shakily, trying a weak attempt at a laugh. 

"What the fuck are you- You're still sneaking out aren't you?" 

He looked sheepish. "It's what I do when I'm stressed, Katara."

"Can't you deal with it like a normal person?! Take a walk or I don't know, stress eat? You  _ have _ to go out and put your life on the line, you complete idiot!" 

"Katara-"

"Ugh!" She grunted and stalked away. To her complete annoyance, he got up and easily kept pace with her. "Don't talk to me!" she yelled, still looking straight ahead and trying to outpace him. 

"If that's what you want," he said softly, again easily matching her stride. They both quietly walked on for a few minutes. And Katara kept getting more angry.

"Why are you walking with me now? Go away! You've seen me here many times before haven't you? Ignore me like you did then!"

"I didn't think you'd want to talk to me. It looked like you needed space. But I was worried, so I kept tabs on you."

"Leave then. You've kept your tabs for today!"

"I was in fact just going to approach you today. Thought you'd need someone to talk to."

She just huffed and crossed her arms in front of her and continued striding. He too was quiet for a while. Then he stopped and said, "Katara-"

"WHAT?"

"The fountain's this way." She turned to him, eyes widening. In the soft moonlight, his features were thrown in sharp contrast. Yet she had rarely seen him more vulnerable. He rarely, if ever, acknowledged  _ that summer _ . The summer in which they’d spent every night side by side on the fountain, talking about anything and everything.

_ I’m here for you too Tara, if you should ever need me. Now and always. _

She debated whether to spite him just for the sake of it, but then decided against it. So she changed her path to stalk ahead on the one he'd pointed out, because dammit she was still angry! 

After a bit she asked him, "Is there anything I can do to stop you from this stupid business?" He shook his head and she snorted derisively. 

"I can look after myself. I promise not to do anything too risky." She wanted to argue but supposed that was the best deal she could get and moved on to the next question. "What stressed you out today?" She asked, observing his face. He'd been staring straight ahead, but just then, he turned, his eyes shooting towards her and locking there. For a minute she thought he looked sad, like there was something bubbling underneath. But the next, his mask was slammed back on. "Just work, Katara." 

"Liar." He gave her a half-smile but looked away. 

They'd reached the fountain by the time he asked, "Did you read it?" 

"You should," he continued when she shook her head. "Maybe at least hear him out?" She was silent. The letter sat heavily in her lap and she half wanted Zuko to burn it to a crisp. Katara sighed. 

"Will you sit with me as I read it?" she asked, uncertainly. "If you want me to." he answered and with shaky fingers, she broke the seal. 

_ Dear Katara, _

_ I'm sorry it took me so long to reach out to you. The circumstances of our separation were not great. I'm sorry for leaving, but at the moment I could not stand to stay there.  _

_ Maybe we were too hasty. It was just an argument after all. The children need their father and I need my wife. I still love you, I haven't stopped since I was 12 and I know you love me too. You're my forever girl, Katara. We're meant to be. _

_ I've screwed up, so let me make it up to you. Now that you have taken a break of months from your work in the South, maybe you can take some more and we'll sort this thing right out. If you want, we'll go somewhere all of us! I will be taking Tenzin for training before, if you don't mind. It has already been too long. Please think it over! I will be reaching the Caldera in two days of you getting this letter, I suppose.  _

_ Love, Aang _

Folding it, she handed it to Zuko. "Burn it." He fumbled, dropped it and looked confused. "Burn it, Zuko." She repeated. The letter went up in flames. She spoke only once the charred bits had remained. 

"He wants us to get back together." She said, looking down, uprooting bits of grass. "He never understood. He still hasn't."

"Maybe you should give him a chance to explain, then," Zuko said, sounding nervous. 

"We've had enough explanations and fights. There is nothing more to be said." Shaking her head she continued, "He only mentioned Tenzin. That he'd be taking him for training. Oh, he'll be here in two days, by the way." The silence stretched on for some time.

"Do you want me to leave?" She asked him suddenly. "Because I will if you want me to." He had the audacity to look amused at this. "Katara, I swear in front of all my forefathers that that is the last thing I want."

"That means nothing, Zuko. Swear on your honour!" And he laughed. "No, Do It!!" She said forcefully. 

"Alright, alright. I swear on my honour." He chuckled and she nodded. Then, she shuffled closer and leaned her head on his shoulder. He pulled his arm around her waist and she snuggled in. His clothes were soft and smelled of sandalwood and sweat. Katara burrowed in and almost immediately felt better, safe. She couldn’t believe it had taken her a month to hug him again like this. Without the frankly uncomfortable shoulder pads blocking the way, she sank into him. He sighed, hand holding on to her even more tightly than before. Mumbling into his shirt she said, "I don't want to leave, either."

"Then don't," he said softly, moving nearer to her. Up close, she could see him gulp. "Stay. I need you here." At this, she lifted her head to look him in the eyes. That might have been an objectively bad idea because she found that it was difficult to look away. It didn’t help that he wouldn’t turn away either. She could make out the blush on his cheeks in the moonlight and the sincerity and hope in his features. "You do?" 

"Of course. I love having you around... and you've done so much in such a short period. Commendable." That snapped her out of whatever funk she’d been in. He was her friend who enjoyed her company and was thankful for all she’d done for his country. She looked away, trying to hide the confusion that must be apparent on her face. He must have misread it because he continued hastily with, "That is not to say that you should stay. Or that I'm forcing you to stay. You should make your own choices, I'll support you no matter what. In fact-" 

Katara started laughing. "Oh, Zuko. You are not forcing me into anything. The very idea!" And she laughed some more, head thrown back, holding onto him for support. Every time she sobered, Zuko’s incoherent babbling made its way to the forefront of her mind again and she laughed anew. When it finally died down and she looked back at him, he was staring at her, the softest look in his eyes, a small smile on his face. He looked intoxicated- like he’d just drunk a bottle of the finest red in that minute or so. His eyes were wide and glassy and he had just the smallest smile on his lips. He also looked slightly pleased with himself and wouldn't stop staring at her. She blushed and tucked strands of hair behind both ears. Strange, she mused, looking down at her lap. She thought she’d outgrown the habit. As it was, it only reared its head when she was with someone she- Katara, darted a look back up at him to find that his expression had softened some more. 

Clearing her throat, Katara remarked, "I never imagined that I'd be working in the Fire Nation learning and teaching so much. At one point I thought I wouldn't step out of the Tribe."

“Destiny is a funny thing,” Zuko replied. Katara stilled as she was transported across time and space to a night so many moons ago..

_ And that’s when it hit her. It was not a big moment per se. Just another part in their apparently never ending arguments. _

_ “Not enough.” _

_ “Katara – what -?” _

_ "That’s what you think of me isn’t it? A glorified follower," she says dazedly. _

_ "What? No, come on Katara, how in the name of all the spirits you came up with that is beyond me." _

_ "Yes, you do… I never know where you’re going to go, what you’re going to do. Just the odd letter from some corner of the world and I’m supposed to sit here waiting for you? Why? So you can disappoint your children again and again?" Somewhere, she realized that there was no going back from this, but at the moment, there was no calm thought in her head. "You leave me hanging here, to keep your house, raise our kids and then wait some more. Tell me, is this meant to be my life? Is this meant to be my destiny?" _

_ "We both need to cool down," he said, turning. "I’m out of here." _

_ "Oh, that’s right. Leave. Run away. That’s all you know how to do right? Run away when the going gets tough. Just like before the comet. Just like you always do-" _

_ " **That’s enough!** " For a moment, his eyes glowed and Katara panicked. Then he took a deep breath and they returned to grey. "I came here to unwind after all the work I had to do in the last few months, because I AM THE AVATAR AND AN AIR NOMAD. I didn’t ask for it, but this is how things are. I will have to travel and leave. It is my destiny. And Tenzin is the second-to-last Airbender, which means it is up to me to train him. He will play an important part in the future, as a Nomad, not part water tribe- part air nomad, a FULL- FLEDGED AIR NOMAD and that is his destiny-” _

_ “-You don’t get to force him into-” _

_ “It’s not a matter of forcing him into anything! It is his future! Even he knows that and he’s eight, Katara! And you are my wife, and his mother and as such you have an equally important role in the future of the world, and that is your destiny! We all have our parts to play!" _

_ For a moment, she believed him. After all, who was she in front of the world’s last great hope? In the grand scheme of things, there were always those who supported the major players. There was nothing inherently wrong in that. But as soon as the thought flashed through her mind she was immediately repulsed.  _

_ She was no meek supporter. She was no simple wife. She had a role in her own story. She was Katara, the last true Water bender of the Southern Water Tribe, the greatest Waterbender there was, the best healer the tribes had to offer, one of the Avatar's masters and a War Hero. She was her own person.  _

_ And it was then that she knew.  _

_ She didn’t cry. She couldn’t. There was no emotion left in her. There was also no choice. He’d made it himself when he had spoken that last bit. _

_ Unclasping the orange necklace around her neck, she said softly “Don’t you remember what General Iroh used to say? Destiny is a funny thing.” _

_ By the next day, her mother’s old necklace was back in its place of honour, and Aang had flown away.  _

“Katara? Katara? Earth to Katara. Oh good, you’re back.” Zuko peered at her in the darkness, “Are you okay?” 

She gave him a tremulous smile, tears pricking her eyes as she leaned back on her hands to look up at the sky, feeling the wind brush her face. Once again, it felt like Yue was smiling down upon her. She was okay, her children were okay, she had a purpose, she was doing good work, important work, and she had her family and friends.

“You know what? I think I am.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So that was it! The last flashback! I'm so glad that's done so we can move on with the next phase :)  
> I'm no meta writer, I can't organise my thoughts well enough, but I'll try to explain my thoughts as best I can. The comics and TLOK stripped Katara of her agency. She went from badass to the Avatar's gf in my opinion so as to satisfy Bryke's Kataang dynamic. My aim was to show how that could have taken place and how she comes out of it. With a little help from Sokka, Zuko and Suki, she manages to become her own self and is now at a good position and maybe ready for something new? (btw the double tuck was shamelessly stolen from Amy in B99 if anyone realized). This was important for me and I couldn't have the relationship between her and Zuko look rushed and forced or God forbid, a rebound. This is my interpretation of Aang is taken from how he's depicted in canon(season 3) and comics (The Promise, Love is a Battlefield). He is considered infallible by everyone and doesn't have a partner to firmly set him right and thus never grows out of his infatuation and as a character. The glaring lack of communication is visible when there is no confrontation post the non-con kiss. Even in the comics, where Aang goes, Katara follows and this just enforces his beliefs that she likes this lifestyle and will continue to support him happily. For me, this is majorly OOC of Katara who has always forged her own path. She is no side character. She is front and center in her story. She is also super considerate and caring and honestly, had Aang on a bit of a pedestal herself (I think she convinced herself early on that Aunt Wu's prophecy referred to him) so it takes her a bit of time to realize it.  
> Thank you for reading my explanation, I hope you've enjoyed your ride so far! If anyone is reading this story in one go, I'd suggest a halt at this spot (not an original idea, but oh well).  
> Major, major thanks to the amazing @zutarawasrobbed for hyping me up and suggesting ideas and the altered layout of this chapter (especially loved the 'Not enough' suggestion). And as always, my lovely (and long suffering) beta @myrsinemezzo who keeps my grammar sane and supplements my enthusiasm with hers.  
> If you don't agree with my take, let me know, but please don't be mean, I'm sensitive and will cry.


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